Of all the many returns we’re getting for the 50th, I’m surprised to see no publicity for perhaps the most surprising of all: Sonny Corinthos!
I know! I never thought we’d see him again either. But this week, the real Sonny Corinthos — compassionate, perceptive, mature — finally came back from wherever he’s been hiding for the last decade:
CONNIE: What if I just disappear?
SONNY: No. You will be a whole person.
CONNIE: Oh, Sonny. I’m scared! I can’t–I can’t. I can’t do it.
SONNY: Listen to me–hold my hand, hold my hand. I told Kate that I would never abandon her. Okay? And I would never abandon you too. I’m right here with you. No matter what.
Weird, right? Look, I don’t know who that childish, self-absorbed, belligerent bully that we’ve been watching up until now actually was. But he clearly wasn’t Sonny Corinthos.
Remember this Sonny? Who was smart and cared about other people and actually seemed to like the woman he claimed to love?
Welcome back, friend.
Unfortunately, that maturity doesn’t seem to be catching. The less said about his ex-wife’s inability to say no to Todd by — you know — JUST SAYING NO TO TODD, the better. Ditto to the fact that I think we’re supposed to be rooting for Todd to win her back while he’s implanting a spy camera in a stuffed animal, the better to creepily stalk her with. (Romantic!)
(I never thought I’d say this, but Todd’s temporary departure for Llanview cannot come soon enough. Dani, stop being cryptic on the phone. Your dad needs some rehabilitating, stat, and he’s clearly not going to get it by giving a crap about the daughter he has in Port Charles.)
However! This entire, embarrassingly juvenile scheme has one bright spot, and that’s giving Elizabeth’s fabulous bitchface and AJ’s tortured desperation face a chance to really shine:
YES! GUILLLLLLLLLLLT, AJ!
I’m sure now that the two most adult characters on the show (i.e. the children of the people actually involved in this stupid lie) know the truth — and with Roger Howarth’s impending departure looming — poor Liz won’t be in the dark much longer. So for now I’m just going to enjoy how torn up AJ looked, staring at her and knowing he was causing her pain.
Speaking of staring, John and Sam were in the same room today, which means that naturally, they were standing an inch apart while some intense eye-fucking ensued. As is their wont:
WHY ARE THEY STILL NOT
MAKING OUT, DAMN IT?
Since Michael Easton is also about to disappear at least for a little while, I really need these two to get moving along the path to Hot Make Out Lane, if you know what I mean. Also, if John’s about to adopt Rafe (because… come on, he’s totally going to adopt Rafe, right?) then what’s going to happen during his enforced leave from the show?
(And the most pressing question of all: will he come back with a better hair cut? INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW.)
Meanwhile, the other player in their recent drama is back to doing what she actually does best. (Hint: it involves color coded binders and not medieval weaponry.) And don’t get me wrong — I am over joyed to see Lucy no longer shrieking the “V” word all over town. But are we seriously not getting any explanation for why she not only believed in vampires and slayers, but also was convinced a complete stranger was actually Kevin’s daughter, even though this was a person Kevin never even remembered meeting?
Like, for real, we’re just shrugging and moving on now with absolutely no attempt to justify any of that?
Listen, writers: I don’t need much. Really! Say Caleb somehow hypnotized her and Alison for purposes of his own and I am 100% good. But you’ve gotta give me something, okay? Please?