I left my heart on Cassadine Island.

I don’t know if I have the words to properly express what an UTTERLY BANANAS week this has been.

But let’s just say that when you start with the freaking Nurses’ Ball and then take one part back-from-the-dead-supervillian, add in some fake flashbacks that manage to somehow tie about five separate plot strands going back months — and in some cases years — into a coherent whole, add a dash of cat fight, a pinch of implausible cryogenics and psychic visions, and a big, honking dump of hysterical glee from the sidelines?

Well, what you get is some DAMN FINE SOAP, people.

Dante and NuLu

Stavros deep freeze

I mean, if the sight of Dante desperately begging a frozen NuLu to live while a reanimated Stavros Cassadine shrieks madly for HIS ICE PRINCESS as he is frozen (again!) isn’t enough to get your soapy juices flowing, then I just don’t know what would.

Oh wait — how about a public Brenda/Carly throw down over the former spending the night with her ex-stepson? (And no, I do not think for one second there was actual sex involved, and yes, I am loving the hell out of seeing Brenda let her inner bad girl flag finally fly free .)

Brenda and Carly catfight1

Brenda and Carly catfight2

All of which not only gave Brenda the opportunity to entertain herself by hilariously goading her rival, but gave Carly the chance to drop this bit of EXTREME TRUTH on us all about their mutual ex-husband:

CARLY: You’ve known Sonny a hell of a lot longer than I have, and you know Sonny sees women only two ways: whores and angels. And you’ve spent your entire relationship trying to climb out of one category into another.

Carly? I am slow clapping you right now, babe.

The only one loving all this even more than Brenda was AJ, whose undisguised glee at the thought of Carly losing her mind rivaled pretty all of the viewing audience’s, I’m sure:

AJ's joy

AJ's joy2

MICHEAL: I am glad that you’re amused.
AJ: Oh no, no, no… this goes beyond amused. I mean think about this: here’s Brenda. She’s this gorgeous model who Jax and Sonny love way more than they ever loved Carly. And Cary walks in and finds you in bed with Brenda? I mean, her head must have exploded! Gah, I wish I was there!
MICHEAL: I was there! It wasn’t a good time.
AJ: You’re right. I’m sorry, I mean, she is your mother. It must have been… awkward.

I don’t think a transcription can possibly do Sean Kanan’s line reading justice there, but trust me: it was beautiful. As was his actual attempt at being a good father by showing concern for Michael’s drinking. Oh, AJ. Never leave us again.

But back to Stavros! Even if the Endgame story ended up sucking  beyond the telling of it, I’ve always enjoyed Robert Kelker-Kelly’s Stavros. He’s got just that right mixture of arrogance, cultured menace, and complete insanity. But there are also those moments — only when Laura’s involved — when you can see some longing and vulnerability as well.

Stavros loves Laura

I don’t know that I could handle him sticking around for the long term, but in a short visit? He packs a hell of a punch. Especially with mommy dearest on ice — literally! — for the time being. (Also, who else really, really hopes we get to see some flashbacks to Helena and Dr. Obrecht palling it up in Switzerland?)

Meanwhile, Sonny — despite having a conversation in which he reminded the mother of his child, in an attempt to comfort her, about that time her shot their son point blank in the chest — was still 95% more likeable than he has been for most of the last decade. Plus his reaction to hearing about Stavros was just GOLD:

SONNY: What is it with these people? Why can’t they just die?

Well, Sonny, I’ll let one of your other babymammas field that one:

ALEXIS: Well they’re wrong. Because a nuclear bomb couldn’t take that woman out. She’s too evil to die. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. There’s got to be a decoy, something wrong here, no. Trust me. She always comes back.

Have I mentioned how much I love Alexis when she’s in Cassadine mode? BECAUSE I LOVE IT A LOT, YOU GUYS.

And as if all that excitement wasn’t enough, we got confirmation that Laura, Scotty, and Lucy (LUCY!) are all sticking around, Bobbie may be going but will definitely be back, and there’s still room for Frisco and even Blackie to make another appearance?

I’m a little in soap heaven right now, is all I’m saying.

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10 thoughts on “I left my heart on Cassadine Island.

  1. I now have montage in my brain of Helena and Dr O laughing it up, racing boats on a lake, eating ice cream, flying kites, and skipping along the water’s edge to Herman’s Hermits “I’m into something good”. I hope you’re happy. Oh that’s right, you are.

  2. AJ was AMAZING on Thursday. He was the audience watching GH, he was speaking for us I’m convinced. My favorite part was when he asked if HE could tell Sonny, lol. I also found it kind of wonderful that even with him being over the top, out of control with the hilariousness of the situation, he was still more mature than Carly. He at least didn’t treat Michael like a kid.

  3. come on you know helena and dr.o are rockin out to Rick Springfield and the pointer sisters. Loved aj, loving anything that drives carson crazy.Loved brenda,can she stay and be a lead,Liz and Brenda should be leads.Loved when she made a fist to hit the guard.

  4. You managed to express pretty much every thought I had about that week of GH. At the time I remarked to a friend that it was inevitable that GH would make a misstep but that watching it right now when it’s doing EVERYTHING right has been exhilarating. “She’s my ICE PRINCESS! And I’ve hated AJ since he returned but Sean Kanan nailed his reaction to the Michael/Brenda thing. His joy at Carly and Sonny’s misfortune was beyond funny and totally infectious.

  5. All this fun is gone and I am bored to death again. To much Sonny, to much carley too to to much Sabrina. . AJ actually slept with the slagbeast carley in his own bed.??? Nic is doing what. he cannot get so romantic with the bullet hole still healing? Loved the pants . I like NIc, usually. I have always liked AJ but mostly with Billy Warlock. And I have always liked Liz when she didn’t drinkl the Kool-Aid of Jason is sainted him and his two guns?. RKK I was really happy to see and he certainly made me laugh. His ice princess? To bad he didn’t get to freeze Luke. Loved seeing Nathan, certainly was more welcomed to the family by Laura than Nic was from Luke ,even saving his daughter. Shes tainted Cassidine blood you know. Brenda this was the first time in such a long time I was happy to see you. When Carleys head exploded at the thought of Michael in her bed I had the best laugh in a long time. Pure gold.. AJ played it right.His son with the model,and sonnys ex/

    • The nice thing about the show under the new regime is that there’s enough going on overall that even when the focus of the moment isn’t my favorite (which: Sabrina and Sonny are not) I have confidence it won’t last forever and something else will come up.

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