Five Things About Revenge: “Engagement”

1. Holy crazy plot movement, Batman! Okay, so first things first: my new girlfriend Edith, aka the Falcon, is back! And prison orange hasn’t dampened her snark or her ability to p0wn Nolan at all!

Speaking of Nolan, he wore an old man sweater rather fetchingly while making jokes about being the Whitney to Aiden’s Kevin Costner. And this jacket, which may or may not have been the ugliest sofa in the world in a former life:

Nolan's fabulous jacket

Oh, and he also accidentally set off the Initiative’s plan to send the entire city (state?) into a massive blackout. (I’ll leave it to you to decide which of those last items excited me the most.) (Hint: IT WAS THE JACKET. DUH.)

2. The Grayson’s have been bankrupted! (Except for Daniel, because he removed his trust funds against his father’s advice that very night. OH IRONY.) I admit to being a little confused about what the objective was here — both from Aiden and Nolan’s perspective in doing it now, and from Emily’s in opposing it. I mean, I know she said they weren’t ready, but what is her actual long range plan here? And how did Aiden and Nolan imagine that simply taking all the Grayson’s money would convince Emily to give up on her life’s work? That seems… unlikely. Do either of them know her at all?

3. Takeda’s dead! Well, damn. And just as I thought I might get my wish from last week in the form of some actual character development and background info.

Takeda's death

Still, he went out like a boss, in an impromptu SWORD DUEL with his former protégé, and damn if I didn’t really think for a minute that Aiden might be toast instead.

I’m really hoping that we’ll at least get more Takeda in flashbacks that explain exactly what his grudge against the Initiative is, because his conversation with Emily at least finally pointed to some motivation for all the time, money, and effort he’s poured into her and Aiden’s personal revenge plots and I would really, really like to know more.

4. Charlotte’s pregnant! Yeah, Daniel. For the first time ever, you and I had the same reaction to shocking news:

Daniel's duh face

That totally explains her dip into the exciting waters of faux-lesbianism and pretending not to understand how the media works! Oh, wait. No it doesn’t. Whatever. The point is I’m assuming Declan is the father, which means we have yet another Porter baby coming into the world. And, hey! Now Charlotte and Victoria finally have something in common to bond over!

5. Also in Porter land, Jack made the tremendously obvious discovery that his clinch with Emily around this very time last year just might (MIGHT!) have had something to do with the end of her first engagement to Daniel. And I know I make a lot of jokes about how dumb Jack is, but… seriously? He seriously hadn’t realized that before now? I mean, I kind of thought it was just understood by both of them and something they didn’t discuss for Amanda’s sake? But no. Turns out Jack just really is that stupid.

Jack is a moron

He’s also stupid enough to trust Victoria against Conrad, even though she’s apparently now decided to take the current governor’s wife literally in her warning that the position is a death sentence. (Um, Vic? I hate to ruin your fantasy here, but most politicians with healthy tickers don’t actually drop dead after one term.)

Meanwhile, the Daniel/Ems engagement part II: electric boogaloo is moving along at lightning speed. Not only did they make it through a much smaller engagement party with no shootings, but they’ve made plans to move to Paris in two weeks. (The better to let Victoria’s picture be a wonderful grandmother to their future children, and damn, Emily, that was a mighty burn if I ever heard one.) Something tells me that plan’s been derailed.

Big two hour finale next week! After a really uneven season, I admit… I’m excited.

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