Well, damn. Between the recent relapse into mob shenanigans, being subjected to the “acting” of The Chew hosts, and crying to the soap gods about the state of Michael Easton’s hair (more on that later), I spent much of the last week’s episodes remembering how my fast forward button worked.
But then! Ms. Tracy Angelica Quartermaine marched in and unleashed a METRIC BUTTLOAD of truth and awesomeness on that selfish, ungrateful wretch she calls an ex-husband and I think my heart literally grew three sizes just watching it:
TRACY: Don’t you dare come in her and kiss me and feed me scraps. I am sick to death of making a meals out of crumbs. I want the whole meal! And I am not giving up until I get it.
(That is but a taste, people! There was so much more! And anyone who didn’t have the urge to clap wildly throughout her entire speech is basically dead to me, just so you know.) (Also — and this should probably go without saying — Jane Elliot owns my soul forever.)
The end result of all that is I am currently willing to see Tracy chem tested with just about anybody in order to get her to love story she deserves. I’m serious. Carly who? Let’s get Roger Howarth over to the Q mansion! Tracy can have a hot younger man with ridiculous hair! (Unless the thing they currently seem to be teasing ends up being true, in which case I will hork. But let’s not count our outrage before it’s hatched.)
Speaking of Roger Howarth and his two fellow ex-Llanviewites… um, yeah. So that happened? (I like Kristen Alderson well enough, but when her character is the one that seems to hold the most promise, something’s gone awry, you know?)
Anyway, I am trying to reserve judgement on all of them until we know a little more, but there’s no way I can keep from judging certain style choices that certain gentlemen have apparently made:
WHAT? AND ALSO: WHYYYYYYY???
I don’t think there are words adequate to convey my horror at the things currently happening on Michael Easton’s head, you guys. I mean, Roger Howarth’s hair is terrifying too, but at least it’s also hilarious? Silas Clay, on the other hand, is just an abomination from roots to ponytail.
And that’s not even getting into his actual characterization. It’s not that I’m not sympathetic to the limitations the writers are working under. Not only can they not even say John McBain’s name, but they can’t bring Easton back as any character that could be interpreted as being too similar to him. That’s a tough one! Truly! I have no idea how I would tackle it!
But striking gold twice with the same actors playing different characters is incredibly difficult. Going for a threefer? Nigh on impossible. Sam and John were one of the best parts of the show for me last year, and one of the things that made that relationship work for me was John’s empathy and maturity. He was one of the lone adults in the room — calm, competent, compassionate, respectful. And to see his replacement not only connected with the effing vampire story, but also introduced as such an almost inhumanly cold and incurious robot? AND with such terrible hair?
Not my happy place, is all I’m saying. Here’s hoping it gets better soon?
Thankfully, there’s another doctor back in town. And he and his lady love are still absolutely delightful. HI, DOC. NEVER LEAVE AGAIN, PLEASE.
Also: as a fellow librarian, Lucy’s resume was pretty much the most hilarious thing ever. SHE IS HIGHLY QUALIFIED, Y’ALL! In basically every specialization! She’s just that good! Even though she hasn’t actually held a library job in over two decades! I love it to death, basically.
And continuing the vet parade, I need to give a shout out to my girl, Leslie Webber. Because she’s still rocking not only that big, goofy grin but also an abiding distrust of Scotty and a hate boner for Monica that no amount of time can dim. And it’s beautiful.
(Seriously: only SOAPS! could give you scene like the one where Leslie took Nik aside to ask if Elizabeth was seeing Monica’s son — an adult man we actually saw this same actress deliver 30+ years ago.)