Thanks, show. I really needed that.

Well, damn. Between the recent relapse into mob shenanigans, being subjected to the “acting” of The Chew hosts, and crying to the soap gods about the state of Michael Easton’s hair (more on that later), I spent much of the last week’s episodes remembering how my fast forward button worked.

But then! Ms. Tracy Angelica Quartermaine marched in and unleashed a METRIC BUTTLOAD of truth and awesomeness on that selfish, ungrateful wretch she calls an ex-husband and I think my heart literally grew three sizes just watching it:

Tracy tells Luke off

TRACY: Don’t you dare come in her and kiss me and feed me scraps. I am sick to death of making a meals out of crumbs. I want the whole meal! And I am not giving up until I get it.

DAMN RIGHT.

(That is but a taste, people! There was so much more! And anyone who didn’t have the urge to clap wildly throughout her entire speech is basically dead to me, just so you know.) (Also — and this should probably go without saying — Jane Elliot owns my soul forever.)

The end result of all that is I am currently willing to see Tracy chem tested with just about anybody in order to get her to love story she deserves. I’m serious. Carly who? Let’s get Roger Howarth over to the Q mansion! Tracy can have a hot younger man with ridiculous hair! (Unless the thing they currently seem to be teasing ends up being true, in which case I will hork. But let’s not count our outrage before it’s hatched.)

Roger Howarth

Speaking of Roger Howarth and his two fellow ex-Llanviewites… um, yeah. So that happened? (I like Kristen Alderson well enough, but when her character is the one that seems to hold the most promise, something’s gone awry, you know?)

Anyway, I am trying to reserve judgement on all of them until we know a little more, but there’s no way I can keep from judging certain style choices that certain gentlemen have apparently made:

Silas Clay

WHAT? AND ALSO: WHYYYYYYY???

I don’t think there are words adequate to convey my horror at the things currently happening on Michael Easton’s head, you guys. I mean, Roger Howarth’s hair is terrifying too, but at least it’s also hilarious? Silas Clay, on the other hand, is just an abomination from roots to ponytail.

And that’s not even getting into his actual characterization. It’s not that I’m not sympathetic to the limitations the writers are working under. Not only can they not even say John McBain’s name, but they can’t bring Easton back as any character that could be interpreted as being too similar to him. That’s a tough one! Truly! I have no idea how I would tackle it!

But striking gold twice with the same actors playing different characters is incredibly difficult. Going for a threefer? Nigh on impossible. Sam and John were one of the best parts of the show for me last year, and one of the things that made that relationship work for me was John’s empathy and maturity. He was one of the lone adults in the room — calm, competent, compassionate, respectful. And to see his replacement not only connected with the effing vampire story, but also introduced as such an almost inhumanly cold and incurious robot? AND with such terrible hair?

Not my happy place, is all I’m saying. Here’s hoping it gets better soon?

Lucy and Doc

Thankfully, there’s another doctor back in town. And he and his lady love are still absolutely delightful. HI, DOC. NEVER LEAVE AGAIN, PLEASE.

Also: as a fellow librarian, Lucy’s resume was pretty much the most hilarious thing ever. SHE IS HIGHLY QUALIFIED, Y’ALL! In basically every specialization! She’s just that good! Even though she hasn’t actually held a library job in over two decades! I love it to death, basically.

Lucy's resume

And continuing the vet parade, I need to give a shout out to my girl, Leslie Webber. Because she’s still rocking not only that big, goofy grin but also an abiding distrust of Scotty and a hate boner for Monica that no amount of time can dim. And it’s beautiful.

Leslie

(Seriously: only SOAPS! could give you scene like the one where Leslie took Nik aside to ask if Elizabeth was seeing Monica’s son — an adult man we actually saw this same actress deliver 30+ years ago.)

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7 thoughts on “Thanks, show. I really needed that.

  1. So, so happy to see Leslie. I want a scene between her and Monica pronto. And I wish they would let her be a doctor again. When she lost her memory years ago, did she forget all her medical training? How exactly does she support herself, anyway? Nikolas’s money? I can’t believe she’d just live off her grandson. And yay! for Kevin having a mysterious patient (maybe Lulu?) and a storyline!

    Also, apparently Leslie and Dante have met previously? Cause there was no introduction and then Leslie was just talking to him about Lulu. That family must do an awful lot of skyping, lol.

    If RH turns out to be who they’re hinting at, I’ll be horking right along with you. Hopefully they’re just playing with us.

    • Yeah, I’m basically just assuming that Dante and Lulu took a long weekend trip to Europe at some point so he could meet Laura, and Leslie came over from Greece to see them as well.

      I really, REALLY hope that we’re just all being trolled with this RH stuff.

  2. I bow down to the greatness that is Jane Elliott. I do hope Ms. Tracy Quartermaine finds her soul mate and that this is the end of her and Luke. (I doubt it, but one can dream.)

    I’m happy that the GH3 are back. It is too early to tell if their new characters will work but I’m willing to give them a chance since I do like the actors. Their hair is a shame though, well with the guys anyways, I’m liking KA as a brunette. They really need to free Michael Easton’s hair, his locks must be flowing!

    It does seem impossible for lightning to strike a third time for a ME & KM pairing but they work so well together and have tons of chemistry that I think they’ll be able to pull it off. I’ve watched them since Port Charles and as Caleb and Livvie they played tender and romantic as well as antagonistic and passionate. When those two fought they burned even hotter.

  3. About finding Tracy a soulmate, she has very…interesting chemistry with Nikolas. And after that epic monologue yesterday I could put aside my love for Niz to explore what could be between Tracy and Nikolas. I know it’s a little Mrs. Robinson but how amazing would it be for Tracy to have a whirlwind, take your breath away kind of affair?

  4. Go Tracy! This is so great, after watching women on the show in the past just accept what they can get, so nice to see someone say they won’t take it any more. She deserves better than what Luke can offer. Luke was so immature, pouting because she didn’t just take him back.

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