Hey, remember when Britt was The Worst in a way that wasn’t awesome? Seems like so long ago now that I kind of love her and her fabulous, sneering evil face to death. It doesn’t hurt that the SOAPS! back story they’ve given her allows her to now make completely accurate speeches like this:
BRITT: Oh, I have a mother. The mother of all mothers.
FELIX: What’s so bad about her?
BRITT: Well, for starters, she’s kind of a mad scientist. She holds people against their will and performs experimental procedures on them.
FELIX: You serious?
BRITT: I am! And I haven’t even begun to talk about my father.
FELIX: Let me guess: he’s an ax-murderer.
BRITT: He has people for that.
It’s not just that she told the complete truth and it was all soapily bonkers and wonderful. It’s the pure, scenery-chewing delight Kelly Thiebaud threw into her performance in those scenes. All right, Dr. Westbourne. You can stay.
(And is it too much to hope that when all is said and done, she and Felix can become besties for real? Because two of them join forces to snark the hell out of the general population would be a lot more fun for me than watching him manage Sabrina’s social calendar.)
Meanwhile, across town, this happened:
SONNY: Michael wouldn’t have been anywhere near Carter if it wasn’t for the cover up. I conspired with Carly to take the blame off Michael. We let our emotions get in the way, we took the legal system into our hands, and we lived to regret it.
I know — I know — that this was mainly just meant to be some heavy-handed foreshadowing of Carly again taking the law into her own hands and making a mess of everything by the end of the episode, but still. It felt really satisfying to hear him say it.
(Please insert your own rant about the utter stupidity of Carly’s plaaaaaaaan to have Franco shot two feet away from her in her hotel, at a dinner which she invited him to, and about Shawn’s raging incompetence as a hitman. Because I’m honestly too facepalmingly flabbergasted by his insistence on taking him out in public instead of, you know, when Franco’s alone at wherever it is he’s staying or driving away from the Quartermaine estate or basically ANYWHERE that’s not the middle of a crowded restaurant that’s owned by the person who’s sure to be the main suspect in any ensuing murder investigation, and I can’t be bothered to treat any of this seriously.)
(But SERIOUSLY, whatever happened to killing someone real quiet like and just dumping the body in the Pine Barrens with no one the wiser, huh? I mean, I never thought I’d miss Jason Morgan’s delicate murder touch, but damn. Then again, Jason did shoot Franco multiple times AND set his body on fire and still somehow managed to not take an actual pulse or give him a final head shot, just to be sure. So… nevermind.)