I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day?

Coming home from vacation is always a little disorienting. But finding myself mentally high-fiving Sonny on top of all that? Definitely adding an extra shade of weirdness to my day.

I mean, this was actually cogent advice! What–why–HOW?

Morgan and Sonny

SONNY: If you’re worried that, you know, Kiki’s going to leave you and that’s why you’re marrying her, that doesn’t solve the problem, Morgan.
MORGAN: Okay. But Kiki and I, we are good together. It’s not that–
SONNY: But if she doesn’t love you, or love you enough, it’s best to know that before you marry her.
MORGAN: That’s not what I meant–
SONNY: Yes, it is. It is what you meant! Because if you’re worried this girl’s going to run after Tom, Dick, or Harry if you don’t marry her, then she’s not the one for you!

Of course, Sonny being Sonny, the conversation proceeded to veer wildly from the good (pointing out that maybe this girl Morgan insists he loves so much might have the right to know her father isn’t actually a serial killer) to the less good (but forget Kiki! Doesn’t Michael deserve to know? Doesn’t he deserve to get the girl? Aren’t girls, in fact, things that dudes can deserve?) to the completely ludicrous (the outright laughable claim that Sonny loves all his children equally, which: HAH).

But we knew all that sense-making couldn’t last, so the whole thing ended with Sonny agreeing to go along with Morgan’s brilliant plan in order to make himself feel better about what a crap father he is. Because nothing says good parenting like allowing one child to wallow in agonized guilt over feeling attracted to his cousin and another to marry a girl who doesn’t really love him and who will inevitably leave him when she finds out he’s been lying to her! Right? (Psst… Sonny: when Carly is the one pointing out the flaws in your logic, maybe you should reconsider. JUST SAYING.)

Michael broods

Also, can we talk about Morgan’s plaaaaaan for a second? Because his role models for marital bliss are Sonny, Carly, and Jax, so it seems more than a little strange that he seems convinced neither divorce nor infidelity are things that actually exist. And that a marriage license will somehow present more of an obstacle to Michael and Kiki’s attraction than either FREAKING INCEST or the fact that they were already betraying him when she was just his girlfriend.

That Michael and Kiki seem to agree with him just means that literally everyone involved in this story is criminally stupid. So I guess I shouldn’t pick on Morgan… except his pleas to Sonny to let him “have” Kiki because he’s earned it — like she’s a stray dog he found on the playground and should get to keep because he’s done all his chores — really make me want to punch him repeatedly. SHUT UP, MORGAN.

Morgan still the worst

(And yes, blah blah, young and stupid, blah blah, natural product of Carly and Sonny’s apparently hereditary hypocrisy and self-absorption. I’d still be perfectly happy if one of Sonny’s mob rivals were to “accidentally” shoot him in the head.)

Lucky for us, this ball of stupid is rapidly spreading across the rest of the canvas, thanks to the appearance of Connie’s mysterious new boss, Derek Wells. You can tell Mr. Wells is a Serious Business Man because he does serious business things like being rude and abusive to his underlings and having strategic plans that hinge entirely on a fashion editor suddenly turning into an intrepid reporter — like, seriously? Did the paper already fire its entire reporting staff? — and landing exactly one story about the corporate infighting at a nearly bankrupt local company.

(Thrilling! Sign me up for a subscription for life to this dying medium based on one boring story about boardroom shenanigans… said absolutely no one in Port Charles.)

Derek and Olivia

This whole thing is so aggressively dumb that even Olivia — a woman who spent months legitimately worried her grandchild might be a dog — can’t believe it:

OLIVIA: That’s ridiculous! I’m not even in publishing and I know it doesn’t work like that! A newspaper is like an ocean liner — it’s not exactly nimble. You don’t just turn it around in a week!
ME: Preach it, sister.

So basically: Derek is the new Worst and this story makes even less sense than usual. Except today we learned that none of that really matters, because he is also actually… Julian Jerome! Which is actually kind of awesome! So now I’m interested in spite of myself.

The question now being: is this the same Julian Jerome who fathered Lucas and was presumed dead in the early 1990s? Or a namesake? And more importantly: have we finally met Sam’s effing father? William deVry is only seven years younger than the original actor, so that’s close enough to work. But even the original Julian Jerome would have been a pre-teen when Sam was conceived in the early 70s. (On the other hand, in a world where 43 year old Lisa LoCicero can play the mother of 34 year old Dominic Zamprogna… do we really care? NOT REALLY.)

In any case, no matter how it goes, we’re about to get a much needed Anna/Duke injection into this hot mess, and I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow’s episode. Hallelujah.

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18 thoughts on “I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day?

  1. I do have to say the actor really sold Morgan’s scene, but he does need a smack. And Sonny saying he loves all his kids equally? BS! Dante is only a “Son” to Sonny when it’s convenient, when was the last time Sonny bonded with Kristina? And Morgan’s been invisible. It’s always been about Michael. And look how that has ended up! Yet he thinks he’s the better father? Sonny, you started off so well. Kiki does need to know, of course, it all comes back to Michael. He deserves a fair shot at this girl? Really? What is this a toy? A prize?

  2. i don’t think that he loves any of his natural kids…….to tell the truth…

    like you say he only loves dante when it’s convenient….and all that….

    I agree……morgan not telling kiki the truth….is being exactly like sonny lying to suit himself, and himself only…..

    susan

  3. One of the reasons a lot of soap fans roll their eyes is when TPTB deliberately hire an actor to play the role of “parent” to another actor where there is less than a few years between the two individuals. NLG is ten years older than William deVry!

    Morgan is dumber than a box of rocks.

    • sorry that it’s just going to you, don’t mean it to…..

      anyway… I thought that it was dumb as a bag or rocks…when I heard that she was playing diane on YR…when the character was 30 in 1980, and still what barely 40 when she was on a few years ago..i mean I would have bought Maura being this diane character’s daughter…but the one herself…

      so I guess that GH is now pulling a YR……

      I could buy this guy being Julian Jerome jr….but not the character himself……when he was this age 20 years ago.

      more or less

      susan

      and they already did the stupid deaging thing with Stavros……but I guess that we need it again

      • Well, again, William deVry is only seven years younger than the original actor. So it’s actually less of a stretch for him to be a recast than the son of the original character. But I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

  4. DZ and LC have never really bothered me because they look alike and b) they’ve made it clear Olivia was super young when she had him. In real life parents and kids with that small of an age difference do actually tend to look about the same difference as LCC and DZ. But this is still the world where Kate/connie was supposed to be Trey’s mom so it’s no big deal.

    I kinda love Morgan. I don’t know why. Probably because I’m annoyed at Kiki and Michael’s lame ass star-crossed love. Kiki crying out “how can I be happy if I’m without you” made me roll my eyes so hard I think I lost them for a minute.

    • Olivia and Dante drive me nuts because it’s part of a larger pattern of refusing to cast age appropriate women. (As mothers or love interests — I mean, Kate and Sonny are supposed to be the same age! He’s 15 years older than her! I guess Sonny just got held back a long time in high school. *eye roll*).

      Anyway, in this case, at least, it would be nice to see a gender reversal, at least, with the much younger man.

      • “Olivia and Dante drive me nuts because it’s part of a larger pattern of refusing to cast age appropriate women.”

        That’s true – but I just remembered that they cast Olivia way before Dante, and I adore DZ as Dante so I’ll let them slide on this one. KSu as Connie is ridiculous though. She’s even younger than Natalia Livingston was, and 99% of the audience thought that was creepy, so I don’t know what they were thinking. KSu was okay but she was always too young and I just never understood why they didn’t bring Megan Ward back.

        • I agree..sometimes casting does leave a lot to be desired..

          susan

          I agree…I was floored when morgan started to call him mikey…….

    • I’m kinda surprising myself by liking Morgan, too, even though I couldn’t stand him at first. I think this has everything to do with the actor,who really seems to be settling into the role, and nothing to do with the character or storyline.

      • I agree, the actor is quite decent, which I’m thankful for after the debacle that was Kristina. His character is hit and miss but he’s getting better for me. I just wish he would stop calling Michael “Mikey”

        • Omg that Kristina recast was horrific. Terrible actress. The girl before her should come back and bring Ethan with her. They reminded me of Bo and Hope from early 80’s Days. And nobody ever called Michael “Mikey” til rapidly aged Morgan started it. It sounds more passive aggressive than a term of endearment.

  5. Telli if tiic cast age appropriate women for these roles they would have to find a new Sonny. .Connie and Sonny were in high school together, Was she a freshman, and he had to repeat every year being age appropriate?? GMAB. Sort of like with Soiley, he was a pedifile no other way to say it..They want to soras characters they will have to also soras the parent. Imagine if Cam grew up with Molly? Liz would have been a child when she had him. I can overlook some things but tiic need to stop insulting the intelligence of the viewers. Connie, and Olivia I could actually buy as a teen mother, Sonny looks like a pedifile with him even near them.
    I guess Hollywood will never allow women to age. Men can but women have to get botox, facelifts ate, etc, etc. Its sick we have seen so many beautiful women destroy their looks to keep a job, or get one. Meg Ryan, Hunter Tylo , Jackie Zeman. to name just a few. There were three beautiful women who just wanted to act I imagine .Now Barbie dolls have more expressions on their faces.

    • That’s why I find it a little refreshing, actually, to see Julian matched with Alexis (assuming he is actually Sam’s father and not a red herring). For once, it’s the much too young man being matched with the older woman!

    • I am 48….and I think that MB is 50, almost two years older…but I always think that he’s more like between 5 and 10…

      so I will agree with you on that one….

      susan

      and I agree……the only part I don’t like about this Julian is that he’s a total jerk…he wasn’t back in the day…I actually liked the character….so where did he learn to be a jerk in the past 20 years…..and don’t say it was because of hard knocks…….Julian respected women, back in the day, why doesn’t he any longer……..

      that’s my beef with Julian…so in ways I want him with alexis…but, in other ways, I don’t…because he’s such an idiot

  6. Julian they’re making him a sonny in waiting…the way that he’s treating women…and I can’t stand sonny….so

    susan

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