Well, that was a delightful 36 minutes of my life.

It is a scientifically proven fact that even when this show — how do I say this delicately? — sucked gigantic donkey balls, wedding-related parties at Jake’s The Floating Rib are always awesome. Always.

Maxie and her folks

Lante karaoke

Obviously, this was no exception. Poison! Karaoke! Baby momma drama! Drag! Everything I love in life, basically!

First of all, can we please talk about my new girlfriend, Liesl Obrecht? Because she is both the MVP of the last few episodes and OF MY HEART. Who else could rock that wig with such panache? Who else could pull off a monologue referring to her romantic rival as “the sow and her piglet”? Or dialog like this?

Liesel Obrecht

DR. OBRECHT: That’s right, Commish, enjoy. As if it’s your last night on Earth… because it is.
ME: Twirl that metaphorical mustache, Liesl! Twirl it like the wind!

Who else could crash a party hosted by said enemy, spend most of the evening giving speeches to herself about murder, get up on stage and give a kick ass performance of Is That All There Is… and actually get away with it? No one, that’s who.

(Well, okay, maybe Heather Webber. Or Helena Cassadine. But that is extremely good company of dastardly ladies in which to find yourself, Liesl.) (I’m still bitter, by the way, that she and Helena hung out at least once and we didn’t get to see it. Because you just know that meeting was amazing, Y/Y?)

Oh, and speaking of that sow, I’d like to present Finola Hughes: Actually Flawless Human Being. How does she look so much more amazing now than she did 30 years ago? Is there a portrait in her attic? Is she a cyborg? HOW?

Duke and Anna toast

She and Duke remain the cutest and obviously he isn’t going to die, but no seriously, if Duke dies, I will cut a bitch. NO DYING IS ALLOWED FOR DUKE.

(That little moment when he was giving his goofy, schoopy toast and Anna just laid her head on his shoulder and then he leaned his head back on hers? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, YOU GUYS.)

Lante happy

Other things I love: Dante and Lulu’s love for Maxie. I don’t care how you manage it, Ron Carlivati, but if that friendship doesn’t get repaired somehow after the big baby secret finally comes out, I will… blog about it really angrily on the internet. So help me.

Felix and Lucy’s continued friendship is also adorable, and I’m not just saying that because it gives him something to talk about that doesn’t involve Sabrina’s love life. (P.S. Dear writers, please can Felix have a love life of his own to talk about soon? Pretty please with a Lucas on top?)

Lucy and Felix

More importantly: the travesty that is Lucy and Kevin not standing up for Mac and Felicia at their wedding was finally addressed! Not that I don’t love Duke and Anna, but come on! These guys were the fearsome foursome on the 90s! Maxie knows what I’m saying:

MAXIE: Look, drag or no drag, it’s clear those four people have a lot of love between them. They’re very lucky.

Listen, we’re all very lucky, Maxie, because NORMA AND EVE! Like, you guys. YOU. GUYS. You do not want to know how loudly I screamed or how long I freaking clapped when this happened:

Norma and Eve

Norma and Eve

BFFs

And then–and then, Lucy and her Doc made up and realized that duh, they are soul mates forever and this silly fighting should end and… ::sigh:: my heart is so happy right now.

despair-divider

Meanwhile, Britt strategically spilled several truths to Patrick in a moment of evil brilliance that ought to make even my darling Liesl proud. But she’s also showing signs of conscience, which is nice. You know, like not advocating for her rival’s murder, and kind of feeling bad about letting Patrick get attached to a child that isn’t really his. Baby steps, Britta!

(Also, she and Nikolas went on a movie friend date together off screen? I’m… having trouble picturing Nik doing something as mundane as going to the movies. Do you think he got confused and tried to buy the entire theater for a private showing? What did they see? Did Nik mistakenly think Pacific Rim was a nature documentary? Did all the cartoon super-villainy in Despicable Me give them both uncomfortable flashbacks to their childhoods? TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS MOVIE DATE, SHOW. I AM FASCINATED.)

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22 thoughts on “Well, that was a delightful 36 minutes of my life.

  1. LOVED Dante and LuLu singing. So as an RN, I routinely push all medical knowledge out of mind in order to watch this show. But since they insist on showing Evil Mom’s drug vial clearly labeled “propofol” it’s driving me nuts that the drug is white, looks like milk. Unlike the kinda yellow solution they show. And has nearly no absorption when swallowed. A splash of dip in a champagne glass wouldn’t even make ya yawn. Maybe they don’t want to show the viewing audience how to commit murder but if Dr Evil Mommy poured ANY unlabeled solution into Anna’s drink, we’d just assume it was an evil drug. They don’t have to make it all wrong. Do I complain when a neurosurgeon is the only ER doc on duty even though no neurosurgeon would ever treat a gunshot-to-chest victim in the ER? No. Do I complain when the same nurse works the desk, is a surgical scrub nurse, teaches nursing school and coaches birthing class? No. So why the totally inaccurate portrayal of propofol is making me wanna cut a writer…who knows. But it’s like Law and Order had somebody be shot to death with a knife. A rudimentary knowledge of the tools of the trade shouldn’t be too much to ask. Probably awesome things are happening on my DVR right now….a crazy woman in a blonde wig is singing and all I can think is that you couldn’t take down a mosquito w the drugs in Anna’s glass. But AJ I accept back from the dead. Go figure?

    • I’m just so happy that acetaminophen is no longer the only antibiotic ever given that I’ll accept anything. But I did think a different drug would be more effective at getting Frau O the results she wanted. Then I looked at Anna and Duke and forgot it.

    • i think with that is that there have been so many that have come back from the dead…..we accept them all…

      now mind you if they were to bring back…anna or edward…or ruby or steve……..i’d so be having a cow…..

      But AJ I accept back from the dead. Go figure?

    • If it makes you feel any better, we can fanwank that she stuck another poison in the propofol bottle to throw people off if she got caught?

    • We all have our little things we get stuck on, some times more than others. Except me, of course. I never get stuck on dumb little things. Ever.

  2. Everything about this episode was awesome!! I laughed out loud when Dr. O said she was from New Jersey….LOL. The only thing that bothered me was Sabrina….can we either end this stupid relationship and/or get Robin back asap….please!

    • Lately Sabrina has been getting on my nerves more and more. I have no beef with the actress, who is both gorgeous and competent, but I just hate what this boring character is doing to Patrick — he’s boring. He was so much more lively in those ultrasound scenes with Britt. I finally saw some chemistry between them (but please, writers, don’t get any ideas, cause I so want Nik and Britt).

  3. , lol….she’s doing my mantra…

    susan

    please can Felix have a love life of his own to talk about soon? Pretty please with a Lucas on top?)

    I have to agree with accidental fan….i’m not a nurse, so don’t know…but, if they wanted us to believe that this was an evil drug…um, don’t show what it’s called…will you hugh…or something like that…

    I didn’t hear her say new jersey…I don’t live there…but, I do know the accent……and that’s so not it…lol…..

  4. Listen, we’re all very lucky, Maxie, because NORMA AND EVE! Like, you guys. YOU. GUYS. You do not want to know how loudly I screamed or how long I freaking clapped when this happened:

    they were the bomb, weren’t they……they so cracked me up back in the day….and yesterday…as well….

    and I loved maxie’s line too………norma and eve are back……what love…..and they were loved…by all…

    this long time fan loved yesterday’s eppy……..

  5. I said this in a few other places…..and i’ll say it here…

    i’m not sure if the cassidines are the evil ones…..rumour is that doc o and Helena are sisters…what if it’s their family that carries the evil gene……I and a few others think that Stavros isn’t a real cassidine./……so……

    what if Helena’s related to say someone by the name of Rasputin…..he was the nuts one…..of the real Russian family…and all that kind of idea….

    maybe it wasn’t mikos’s idea to freeze the world 30 years ago…it was really Helena’s…….

    susan

  6. Damn it all…I was briefly distracted by Maxie’s kickass maternity wardrobe when Felix and Spinelli SPOKE ABOUT THE PROPOFOL…”the drug that killed Michael Jackson”. It did. Bc he was using a continuous iv infusion of it to sleep and he was not on a ventilator. Not because he drank it. It’s as if the writers read by rant and decided I’m so uptight that I deserve to be poked repeatedly with this glaring innacuracy. I need Duke to live just so I don’t have to relive his death by supposed dip ingestion. Also I like him.

  7. I hope that this isn’t the end of Maxie and Lulu’s friendship! They’re way better as friends. Maxie should have told them the truth long ago or listened to Georgie’s ghost!
    Seeing, the promo? WTF are the writers doing to AJ? They build him up and now this? If they’re going to just have him self-destruct, thanks for nothing, writers!

    • RC does this crap all of the time. Last year it was having Jason reject Sam’s baby when long time fans know that the man collects babies at the drop of a hat! How about Liz messing with Sam’s maternity tests? Or, OLTL’s Marty Saybrooke going all BSC in 2011?

      • That whole Franco story was awful, I’m sorry but I don’t buy into Franco being the long lost twin, it’s even worse than Ethan being Luke’s long lost son. Yeah, Liz messing the maternity results was bad, and out of character. Some things he’s done I do like, and bringin AJ back and fixing his character was one of them, but I feel let down by what’s to come

        • Don’t get me wrong, watching OLTL’s Marty go BSC and toss Natalie off a hotel roof was awesome!..and I love both women. The only times that I have issues with RC’s writing is when he tries to turn a character into a knot just for a plot point for his story (e.g. Jason rejecting a baby or Liz messing with Sam’s maternity test). I’m enjoying the nods to GH history and all of the vets, but there is no way that Franco should have been turned into Jason’s twin when Jimmy Lee Holt was Edward’s son and RoHo could have played a bittler Holt Quatermaine furious at being left out of the family stock.

          • Now. I like that idea! At least, they should have left Franco dead! Alice turning on Tracy b/c she’s holding the votes when Franco is in hospital was just. . .please. How about “I don’t like how you’re treating Mr AJ!” that would be better.

      • Yeah even I didn’t get how Jason could really not want Sam’s baby or Sam if she kept her baby. The hitman-with-a-heart-of-gold thing was hard to buy but Jason turning his back on a hot pregnant chick was even harder to buy.

        • I found it hard to buy without it. He’s a HITMAN so how can he ahve such a pure heart when he kills for a living, and how he treated Sam was awful! Come ON, she was RAPED and is carrying her rapist’s baby (or so they thought) you ASSHOLE!! (sorry for the language). Grr.

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