Sonny Corinthos: certified party ruiner.

There are normally very few things I care less about than, in no particular order: Morgan and Kiki, mob shenanigans, or Sonny’s mental health. Which is why I was just as surprised as anyone when the former’s wedding party — which heavily involved all three — turned out to be surprisingly entertaining.

By which I mean this happened:

Sonny confesses

SONNY: Listen to me. I’ve got to do this. I will never forgive myself if I don’t.
MICHAEL: What? Dad, you’ve never hurt me.
SONNY: Yes, I did!  I knew you and Kiki weren’t related. I FINALLY SAID IT.

Where to start? Several parts of this whole speech were completely amazing — beginning with the fact that Sonny spent all of his toast to Morgan’s marriage talking about his dead girlfriend and how proud he was of his other son. (I’m not saying Morgan isn’t a complete douchebag, because DUH, HAVE YOU SEEN HIS HAIR LATELY? But let’s just say his inferiority complex regarding his brother is slightly earned.)

Then there’s the fact that out of all the ways Sonny has made Michael’s life into a complete nightmare hellscape over the years, the one he’s upset about is… not letting him know he could bone his brother’s girlfriend without all that pesky incest getting in the way. (Which, sure, was pretty shitty. But more to Kiki than anyone else? JUST SAYING.)

But it was really Maurice Bernard’s descent (ascent? I don’t even know anymore) into complete camp with fists raised to the heavens at the end that really put it over the edge in the hilarity department. Bravo, good sir.

enter Carlos

Meanwhile, Sonny’s latest shipment (of what? SHIPMENT OF WHAT, WRITERS?!) was derailed by my new BFF, Julian, and his new henchman, Carlos. (Or as I like to think of him: Hispanic Matt Hunter.)

Carlos is from Puerto Rico, which means that he’s obviously a member of the Rivera crime family. And since the only non-Riveras we know of on that island are the Santiagos, he’s also completely obsessed with Sabrina. OF COURSE. Now, those of you who haven’t repressed the memory of Sabrina’s introduction to spare your brain the residual contact embarrassment may be wondering how this apparently grown man and mob enforcer could possibly have been dating a girl who looked and acted even younger than our ugly duckling did when she appeared in Port Charles. But no. They were together for years before she came to town. YEARS.

(Just take a second and let that mental image really sink in. Yeah. I wouldn’t trust this guy around Molly, if you know what I’m saying. Or Emma, for that matter.)

Pretty much the only thing less plausible than Carlos’ yen for Sabrina is Britt’s continuing homelessness.

Nik and Britt2

NIK’S IMPRESSED BY THE PREGNANCY BOOBS.

The woman is a doctor! Her parents are international supervillains! Not only can afford she a hotel suite, nanny, and a personal handyman to assemble a crib for her while she looks for an apartment, but — come on now. Are we really expected to believe the Port Charles real estate market isn’t wide open with vacancies?

(What normal person would actually live in this town unless they had no other choice? They just had to reset their “__ DAYS SINCE LAST SHOOTING/EXPLOSION” calendar for the second time this week.)

But all that nonsense has been in service of Nikolas and Britt spending more time together, and they’re adorable and I love them. So whatever. Never let it be said that I let contrivance get in the way of chemistry.

(Just… seriously, Britt. Real estate agent. Look one up.)

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11 thoughts on “Sonny Corinthos: certified party ruiner.

  1. There is a part of me that would kill to go to a party in Port Chuck, just to witness the shenanigans. There is another part of me that worries I would be killed at a party in Port Chuck. What to do, what to do. Oh yeah, get invited. Wait, that never stopped anyone before!

    • The bonus to being a random bystander is you can be pretty assured of getting a good floor show AND being able to sneak out in the inevitable chaos without paying.

      The con is, as you say, the high possibility of getting blown up.

  2. LOL. Yes, Britt has to live with Nik just like Anna had to live with Luke, in order for fans to know that their each others current love interest. There was a time when “gasp” potential couples were organic and not forced together. Of course, anything that keeps Liz from being saddled with Nik is all good in my book!

    Sonny for the win! Sonny not taking his meds and acting all spacey was the highlight of Friday’s show.

  3. Loved Duke and Anna, but I had to turn off the show today. Could not take the Sonny/Morgan yelling. There’s camp and there’s just bad, and for me it was just bad. Also, Kiki’s faces … so horrible.

  4. I choose to believe Britt was angling to get Nik to invite her. Which I have no problem with either, heh.

    “Which, sure, was pretty shitty. But more to Kiki than anyone else? JUST SAYING.”

    Kiki is a complete plot point. They tried to give her some sort of vixen personality for 2 seconds in May and then it just quickly spiraled into “loves Michael”.

  5. I saw this comment on the forums and I agreed with every word:

    No she didn’t and, that’s the only thing that pissed me off about yesterday’s show. When Morgan asked her that question I was like yes, finally, Kiki can own up to her part in this fiasco and finally tell Morgan the truth, that no, she wouldn’t have married him. But she side stepped and made it about Morgan’s lie and that she could no longer be married to him because of it; which was a lie. She used that as an excuse because she could finally have the man she always wanted. What makes me laugh is, Kiki is so big on everyone in her orbit being truthful but when it comes to her, she is not willing to travel that same road. Acting all self-righteous and hurt when she was the one telling the most hurtful lies when she was telling Morgan she loved him and sexing him up every day while pining away for his brother.

    I am confused how RC is writing this Kiki character because she is coming off more like a villian then a victim in this triangle. She is being portrayed as a weak minded, immature, heartless girl with no backbone and no voice. RC is so intent in making her a victim that it is having the opposite affect on me. She is unrootable, unlikable and until she is truthful to both brothers about her true feelings and her part, I won’t have any respect for her.

  6. GUYS. GUYS. GUYS!

    Did you hear Morgan’s “Dead to Me” comment about Sonny :DD

    I hope he says it to Sonny’s face.

    Morgan joins the Jeromes and he’ll be like: Dad, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.
    And Sonny will be like: BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!

  7. I think that Morgan kid has been showing some acting talent lately. He’s actually pretty good.

    Oh and I was saying the same thing about Britt being homeless. You’re a doctor!!

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