Previously on Vampire Diaries: Stefan suffered, Silas made his presence known, and Elena and Caroline failed at being normal college students.
This is late and possibly incoherent, because I’m sick as a dog. But neither cough nor cold nor complete inability to breath will stop me from me recapping duties, so let’s proceed: Damon’s got his buddy Liz dredging the quarry for Stefan’s body. He’s also still lying his ass off to Elena. Oh, Damon. You’re so bad at this.
Meanwhile, Elena and Caroline’s college has its own version of the Founder’s Council, because of course it does. The girls attempt to infiltrate by signing up for an upper level biology course that just happens to be taught by the town’s hot young coroner (again, of COURSE) who hilariously begins his microbiology lecture with a local history lesson. Because even Mystic-adjacent towns have a cult-like devotion to obscure regional trivia.
Professor Jerkface publicly embarrasses and tosses our heroine out of the class. Which is a thing that happens in every tv show to demonstrate that college is Serious and Scary, but almost never in real life, because most actual college professors are not assholes who delight in the ritual humiliation of freshmen.
Anyway, Jerkface shows up again at the end of the episode to reveal he knew Elena’s father and seems suspiciously friendly. But Elena blows him off to go look for Stefan, so we’ll have to wait to see what comes of his connection to her, and to — I presume? — her dead roommate.
Speaking of said dead roommate, Caroline’s confused irritation over the campus actually having a reaction to a student’s death cracked me up. This is how normal people deal with death, Caroline! But I’m calling bullshit on her sudden desire to take blow off classes and on her confusion over microbiology — she was her high school valedictorian, for God’s sake! And she managed that while spending two straight years distracted by non-stop life and death supernatural bullshit! Don’t treat Caroline like a ditz, show.
New guy Jesse is still hanging around, which means I’ve officially started the countdown until he 1) reveals he’s a witch, 2) gets killed, or 3) both. I mean, I’m not saying this show has literally killed every single black character they’ve ever had, but– oh, wait, that’s totally what I’m saying. Never mind. DO BETTER, SHOW.
And in fact, over the course of this episode, Jesse manages to get knocked out by Damon for literally no reason other than talking to Elena. So… odds are not looking good for him. But I live in hope! Especially since he and Caroline shared a nice bonding moment over being ditched by their high school sweethearts.
Damon, by the way, is on campus because Silas was there posing as Stefan to pump Elena for info on where Jeremy and Matt might have taken Katherine while hiding out from the hordes of townsfolk currently brainwashed to look for her.
When Damon finds Elena, she attacks him under Silas’ orders. The fact that she’s rightly furious about all the secrets he’s been keeping about Silas and Katherine and Jeremy’s expulsion doesn’t help — but she manages to stop herself with a self-inflicted gut stab. Vampire Elena is an awesome bad ass when they let her be.
GRATUITOUS SHIRTLESS DAMON
For her part, Katherine spends the whole episode in unwilling protective custody with with Matt and Jeremy, and being plagued with a sinus infection — which raises all sort of interesting questions about whether her newly human body would need to be vaccinated.
When Silas catches up with them at the old Gilbert family camp site, she abandons her protectors, but has a last minute change of heart after Jeremy points out that this “me first” attitude is kind of the reason everyone hates her guts. Aw, Katherine and Jeremy sort of bonding is adorable.
Oh, and that black-eyed business with Matt from last week? Turns out that was him getting possessed by a pair of Romani “Travelers,” which renders him immune to Silas’ mind control — but not to getting killed.
He has a nice little chat with Bonnie on the other side before the ring brings him back to life. Seeing her interacting with someone other than Jeremy really emphasized how tiresome it is to have her cut off from the rest of the cast. Hope that resolves soon.
The Travelers, by the way, want to kill Silas. But apparently the woman Matt and Rebekah met in Europe has an agenda of her own; she kills her partner to join up with Silas for Reasons Yet Unexplained. DUN!
And finally: Liz found Stefan’s coffin, but it wasn’t in the quarry and I have no idea how Stefan got out or why he dragged the coffin several miles away, but he’s already drained someone, left the body, and is nowhere to be seen. DOUBLE DUN!
Next time: Stefan eats some people.