Previously on Vampire Diaries: Qetsiyah became a modern girl, Stefan lost his memories, and Silas lost his mojo.
Finally an episode I can sink my teeth into! Everyone’s expecting Bonnie to provide some witchy intervention for their supernatural problems, but of course, she’s not returning any calls. In the meantime, Damon’s trying to teach his brother everything he needs to know about Stefan 101. This involves stealing (and crashing) a car, reading up on Stefan’s many depressing diaries, and getting their drink on.
After the temptations of all that nubile young blood at the bar prove to be too much, they relocate to the family crypt. Why there and not Chez Salvatore, I have no idea, since the cemetery is just as crowded as the bar due to this week’s bullshit local holiday: the day when all the townsfolk deal with their ridiculously high mortality rate by ringing bells for the dead and getting hammered. Honestly, as Mystic Falls holidays go, this one at least seems useful.
Across town: Cute!Matt fills Jeremy in on his suspicions about his missing time and his frustrations about Bonnie’s failure to respond to his pleas for help. This is the last straw for poor Jeremy, who calls Damon and — despite Bonnie begging him not to — finally, FINALLY spills the beans.
Damon pretends he’s only upset because of how much this will destroy Elena, but… let’s just say my Bonnie/Damon loving heart was well satisfied by his reaction. (Also: second Jeremy/Damon hug of the season! And we’re only four episodes in! Hurray for found families!)
Meanwhile, left to watch Stefan, Elena attempts to recreate their meet cute at the high school. Even though it doesn’t work, the two of them are clearly charming each other. Is it their doppeldestiny? Or is Stefan just always more attractive when he’s not weighed down by baggage and mopiness? Whatever the reason, he’s also distracted from his blood lust by their flirting. That is, until Elena takes him to the bridge where she died. They have a moment and nearly kiss. But when she tells him she’s with Damon now, he immediately announces his hunger’s back and takes off.
I THINK I JUST STRAINED
SOMETHING ROLLING MY EYES.
Cute!Matt — proving himself not only cute but crafty — has also set up cameras all over the house to get to the bottom of what happens when he blacks out. After waking up with a cut on his palm, he watches a message from his “passenger” — who warns him people will be coming for the knife he carries. And threatens to cut his throat if he doesn’t protect it. INTERESTING.
While all this is going on, Caroline is back to being the brainy overachiever I love best — by which I mean she’s managed to both cram all the necessary biology background to impress Professor Jerkface and get her flirt on with Jesse at the same time. Including bringing him home to Mystic for a study date in the cemetery. Romance!
She runs into Stefan, who immediately sets my latent Stefan/Caroline feels ablaze by recognizing her as his “best friend” who’s much hotter in person. Unfortunately, he also decides to work through his issues by eating poor Jesse, but not before giving a big speech about how terrible his life is because he has amnesia and his brother stole the girlfriend he doesn’t remember… and that means he should get to murder innocent people with impunity? I guess? God, even Stefan with no memories is one big never ending pity party drama llama.
Caroline rescues her date and saves him with her blood, allowing Stefan to take off again, shaken by his lack of control. Eventually Damon and Elena find him burning his diaries (no! not the diaries!) in the omnipresent fireplace at Chez Salvatore. (NEVER CHANGE, VAMPIRE DIARIES.) He announces he no longer wants to see either of them or live in that house, and that Caroline will now be in charge of his vampire education.
SO MANY FEELS, YOU GUYS.
Elena’s still sure that Bonnie will be able to fix Stefan’s memory problems, which forces Damon to finally tell her the truth. She takes it about as well as could be expected. Meanwhile, Jeremy fills Matt in, and Caroline, having learned off screen, tells Stefan. Despite not remembering Bonnie, he’s very sweet with Caroline, and promises to be there for her, the same way he can tell she’s always been there for him. Don’t mind me. I’ll just be over here with HEARTS IN MY EYES.
The next day, the gang convenes in the woods for a private memorial. It starts off just quietly sad, but quickly veers into emotionally devastating as soon as Tyler shows up and Bonnie starts talking to her friends with Jeremy translating. I can admit it. I cried.
Lastly: back at school, Professor Jerkface questions Jesse about his weekend while testing his blood. He tells Jesse there’s vampire blood in his system. I thought for a second Jesse was going to prove to be a double agent, but no. He doesn’t seem to know what the Prof’s talking about. Which is too bad for him, because Jerkface promptly kills him in order to complete the vamping process. RIP, Jesse.
So, yeah. This was easily the best episode of the season for me, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it involved zero Silas and an emphasis on personal connections between the main characters. More of this, please, VD.
Next time: Damon wants to trade Silas’ life for Bonnie. Um, no objections here.