It’s hard to believe it’s been five years since we last saw Ric Lansing in Port Charles! (It’s also hard to believe he wouldn’t have come home to dance on Jason’s grave at least once before now, but whatever.)
YOU KNOW HE WANTED TO
When the news first broke that Rick Hearst was on his way back, I had three instant thoughts: 1) please do not let him be here for Elizabeth, 2) please do not let him be here for Alexis, and 3) please do not let him be here for Sonny. Because that is literally the least interesting thing I can imagine.
So of course he’s working with Julian to destroy Sonny. OF COURSE HE IS. (I swear, the way my luck is going lately, he and Elizabeth will probably end up married again before the year is out. In which case the writers will deserve some special congratulations for resurrecting both of my most hated pairings for her in the space of one year.)
I admit, though: I could have forgiven a lot if Ric had just been the one to interrupt this scene the other day:
Seriously. My kingdom for Ric to see Alexis getting some on that living room floor! (And then for Julian to get all jealous/protective.) (I am nothing if not a woman for simple and predictable needs, people.)
But no. He and Julian will probably be crime besties. And meanwhile, I guess we’ll all just hold our breaths waiting for them to finally beat Sonn– haha, no. Sorry. I can’t even pretend there’s the slightest chance of that happening. RIC, LOOK AT YOUR LIFE. LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES.
In other news, my frustrations with Robin’s exit story remain, but I’m relieved that at least Patrick knows the truth. And that he’s getting to play the voice of the viewers in this whole mess.
You know, with his, “hey, call me crazy, but before you run off to thaw some super villains, maybe we should tell your mom, the super spy?” Or his “ROBIN, EVERY WORD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW IS DONKEY BANANAS.”
And most of all, with this most perfect reaction sequence ever:
PATRICK: How do you know you can trust him? This could be an old picture. Jason could very well be dead.
ROBIN: Because he showed me evidence that Jason is still alive. But you’re right–you’re right, I don’t know if I can trust him. But what else–what other choice do I have?
PATRICK: [does visible double-take] WHAT?!
I may hate the way Robin is being written like an idiot, but I do love the way she and Patrick fight — like an actual married couple. Like two people who know each other inside and out, all their foibles and flaws and all the best places to hurt.
I can even imagine Patrick and Sabrina having a knock down, drag out like that, you know?
Plus, Jason’s Thompson’s beautiful teary face, as always, is the cherry on top of a gigantic ice cream sundae of feelings. And I loved that Robin got to throw in a dig at his wish-washiness in December:
ROBIN: He needs me right now.
PATRICK: Robin, we need you!
ROBIN: Patrick, he’s going to die if I don’t save him. And Sabrina needs you here–
PATRICK: Why would you even bring that up?
ROBIN: Why? Because I had to give you weeks — weeks! — to make your choice.
Patrick, you may be the sane one at the moment, but you totally deserved that.
I also appreciated her emphasis on how she suffered while she was captive and how she can’t stand the thought of knowingly allowing Jason to suffer the same:
PATRICK: The last time that you did this, you were gone for two years. So what is it this time — is it a week, is it a month, a year, 10 years?
ROBIN: All I know is that I spent two years as a prisoner, hoping and praying that someone would come to find me. Knowing… that nobody would.
PATRICK: We couldn’t come and search for you because we thought we were gone. We thought you were dead.
ROBIN: And so everyone thinks Jason is dead! He’s in the same place that I was. Except it’s worse!
The more Robin protests she doesn’t have any PTSD, the more my personal head canon cements that she’s acting out of deep trauma right now. It’s basically the only way I can accept any of this nonsense.
And hey, at least we got one love scene before she leaves, right?
In any case, Patrick’s magnificent double-take above would easily have taken the prize for Reaction of the Week… if not for this one of Silas, clearly capturing the moment of realization that his daughter is an inhuman monster :
I’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.
I realize I’m starting to repeat myself when it comes to Kiki, but she literally gets worse every single day. (Her smug-faced “I’m a VERY good judge of character” rant at Nate today? How did he keep from strangling her right there? HOW? The man has to be a marble-abed saint.)
Instead of going into all that again, though, I’ll just share the email my erstwhile co-blogger sent me, and I quote: “UGH, ALSO KIKI IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST. SHUT UP KIKI. YOU ARE A SMUG BASTARD AND COMPLETELY WRONG.”