Well, it’s official: Sean Kanan’s leaving. To say I’m disappointed would be something of an understatement, but there have been rumors for months, so it’s not exactly a shock.
Rather than rail about all the wasted months languishing off screen in jail or arguing with Tracy about relish (when they should OBVIOUSLY have been making relish together on the assembly line!) or — most importantly — not having hot sex with Elizabeth every night, I’m going to focus on the one part of AJ’s story that I’ve consistently enjoyed:
MICHAEL: I promise if you wake up now, all you have to do is listen. So I can tell you how much I love you. You hear me, dad? You’re my father and I love you. Just please come back.
Every time Michael clutches AJ’s hand and promises to get the bastard who shot him, I swear my heart grows three sizes. And not just because watching Sonny squirm is the most fun the character’s been in years. But even if AJ’s return was ultimately disappointing, at least we’ll always have the satisfaction of Michael finally learning the full truth about all three of his parents, right? Because that is still pretty much priceless for me.
And maybe it won’t be much comfort if Monica ends up losing her only remaining (unfrozen) child, but if Michael screams BETRAAAAAYAL! and knocks over some barware when he finds out Sonny shot his dad, my life will be pretty much complete.
Meanwhile, TJ’s mom is in town, continuing the grand tradition of actresses that are all of nine years older than their “sons.” This resulted in one of the most hilariously out of touch with reality conversations this side of Sonny proclaiming himself a superior father to the man he just shot in a rage fit after promising his son he wouldn’t:
JORDAN: I have to keep my son safe. And that is why he’s coming home with me.
SHAWN: He’s going to be safer with you — after what you did? Than the life you lived? I haven’t forgotten the reason why you sent TJ to me in the first place. Oh no, sweetheart. It’s a lot worse than my job is for Sonny.
Um, Shawn? YOU ARE A HIT MAN. Granted, you are a terrible one, but still. YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION IS LITERALLY “KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY.” So unless TJ’s mom ran a business punching nuns, clubbing baby seals, and drowning kittens for fun, I really don’t see how anything she’s done could be worse for a kid to be around than you.
(Also, “sweetheart”? Really? You shot this woman’s husband and you’re going to start throwing condescending attitude at her?) (You’re the worst.)