Previously on Vampire Diaries: Enzo bit the dust.
Damon has Luke searching for Enzo, much to Stefan’s dismay. But their efforts are interrupted by Tyler, who woke up in chains at the Traveler warehouse and bluffed his way into some info about their plans before busting out.
Since those plans involve coming for Stefan and Elena’s sweet, sweet doppelblood, the gang heads out to hide at Caroline’s enormous family cabin in the woods — with Luke along to provide some magical interference.
WHO, US? KEEP SECRETS?
The inherent awkwardness of Elena and road-tripping with both of her ex-boyfriends is immediately magnified by her and Stefan’s complete inability to convincingly keep a secret. They’re acting weird enough to set off both Caroline and Damon’s suspicions, although for different reasons. SMOOTH, GUYS.
Meanwhile, Jeremy’s enjoying some alone time with Bonnie when he gets the news that Tyler’s back. Um, guess that’s good, since you obviously weren’t out looking for him at all. Bonnie’s still lying to him about the badness of the other side situation, and Grams pops in to yell at her about it. Things are deteriorating fast — the dead can actually touch things in the living world now. Gee, I wonder if that plot point will become important later on?
ALSO, WAS GRAMS ABOUT TO WATCH
THEM HAVE SEX OR WHAT?
Elena’s feeling guilty about lying to Damon — especially since he’s already backsliding big time on his big “I never want to see you again” vow. Stefan points out all the times Damon has lied to her in the past and suggests she maybe consider this one a freebie. Hah! Snarky Stefan is still my favorite.
(Also, remember that time Damon killed Stefan’s best friend and for way less of a good reason? Oh, and remember that time Damon and Enzo tortured and nearly killed Jeremy, like a week ago? Why is anyone trying to spare his feelings about anything again?)
Anyway, ghost!Enzo watches their whole conversation muttering about his revenge or whatever — I’m not really sure what his big beef is, exactly. I mean, Elena and Stefan weren’t the ones who killed his girlfriend.
SUCH AN UNDEAD DRAMA LLAMA
Back in Mystic, the Travelers are on the move, with Markos hilariously yelling at them that he sees walking but doesn’t hear enough chanting. OKAY, DAD. (Also, did they possess whole families and workplaces? How has no one in town noticed so many people going missing?)
Matt and Jeremy have Tyler chained up in the basement to interrogate his passenger, Julian, about Markos’ location. After poor Cute!Matt tortures him a bit, Julian spills the location of his real body, and the fact that Markos will probably be using it to seal him into Tyler permanently.
Cabin sleep over! Caroline assumes that Stefan and Elena’s caginess is hiding the fact that there’s something romantic going on, and — in typical Caroline fashion — decides to get the truth out of them via cocktails and charades. This goes about as well as you might expect.
(Especially after Damon leads them into a rousing game of Never Have I Ever. Because everyone on this show really is a operating at a maturity level of a thirteen year old.)
Elena storms off to have a bath, and creeper ghost!Enzo takes the opportunity to hold her head under the water. After Damon rescues her, she finally confesses the truth about Enzo. Damon takes it pretty well, actually?
REALLY GROWING AS A PERSON
Meanwhile, Stefan confesses to Caroline after a call to Bonnie confirms that ghosts can now mess with the living. With Enzo providing admiring color commentary, they figure out he must have attacked Elena as a distraction. And sure enough, Luke is gone from his chanting post on the porch. (Wow, they just left him outside like a dog while they got drunk and played slumber party games? What crappy hosts.)
Caroline and Elena have it out in the woods while searching for him — Caroline understands not telling Damon the truth, because hello, homicidal maniac waiting to happen. But she doesn’t understand why Elena didn’t tell her. Elena says she didn’t want to put Caroline in an awkward position. What she doesn’t understand is where that charades ambush came from. Caroline does not exactly confess that she was jealous, but… she was totally jealous.
Elsewhere in the woods, an indignant Damon accuses Stefan of thinking he’d go on some out of control murder rampage if he knew the truth about Enzo. Um, awfully pissy for a guy who basically did just that like a week and a half ago. But Stefan says no, he was worried Damon would hate him if he knew. Damon may or may not be touched by this revelation.
They finally find Luke tied up and unconscious in the barn, which Enzo has drenched in gas. He lights it up as soon as they get inside, and then holds Damon against the wall to keep him from leaving. Damon promises that if he knocks off the crazy ghost vendetta, he’ll find a way to bring him back from the other side like they did for Bonnie. Considering how well that one worked out, I’m not sure it’s much of a bargain, but Enzo finally relents.
Bonnie and Jeremy are searching one of the many creepy catacombs under Mystic Falls for the body of Tyler’s passenger when they’re ambushed by Travelers, who take the body and use it to do the spell, exactly as Julian warned they would. Damn it, you two! You had one job!
Stefan finds Caroline watching her family barn burn. I hope they’re planning on at least calling the fire department before they take off and leaving a raging inferno in the woods? Anyway, she admits that she was hurt he trusted Elena more than her. Stefan cutely says that he trusts her with things he doesn’t trust Elena with.
LIKE HIS HEART?!
Only no, he just makes a joke out of it. But it does make her laugh, so mission accomplished. He says that Caroline and Enzo had that little flirty chemistry thing going — which she denies — before finally confessing that the real reason is he didn’t want her to think less of him.
Even thought the Travelers are coming and they should really know better than to split up, Stefan heads back to the house alone. And immediately runs into some unidentified trouble. Because, of course he does.
Meanwhile, Elena is apologizing for lying to Damon as he packs up the car. He gives a big speech about how he really wanted to spiral out and go on a murder spree, but he’s holding out instead. All for her!
I think we’re supposed to find this romantic? But mainly it just makes me tired. Here’s a cookie Damon. Congrats on not murdering anyone in the last five minutes.
Then he heads back inside and she, too, is instantly grabbed. Jeez, you guys are really terrible at providing protection detail.
Next time: Drama! Travelers! Luke and Liv might finally justify their existence! (Probably not that last one.)