Five Things About Revenge: “Impetus”

1. HOLY BALLS! Conrad! Emily’s face when she realized she’d finally won! (And Nolan’s face as he watched her realize it.) That last scene!

Conrad in jail

I could nitpick that Emily’s outbursts about her shitty childhood were over the top and out of character. I could question her certainty that: 1) Charlotte would confront Conrad at all, and 2) her confronting him would drive him so completely over the edge, because wow, speaking of out of character! And I could ask why she didn’t try this three effing years ago, since apparently it was all so simple.

(Like, seriously, they could have at least used some sort of evidence gathered over the course of Emily’s time in the Hamptons to convince Charlotte instead of basically just showing her a slide show of news reports and having that be enough.)

Emily triumphant

But you know what? WHATEVER. Something finally happened to break this show out of its holding pattern and I would swallow a lot more sloppy plotting to get to a true Ems/Conrad REVENGE team up.

2. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s most likely going to die next week, but Aiden being the worst doesn’t even bother me anymore. It’s just kind of become a joke at this point? They’re not even trying to have him make sense as a character any more. (Oh, look! Aiden’s “nobly” giving Emily to Jack! No, wait! He’s telling her they’re going to make it work after all for no discernible reason! Isn’t he great? Won’t you be sad if he dies? WON’T YOU?)

aiden and emily2

THE ANSWER IS: I WILL DANCE ON HIS GRAVE

3. I like semi-hot cop. He should stick around and investigate Emily, but have integrity and eventually come around to help her take Victoria down.

(Or, as is more likely, either be evil or get killed within three episodes. RESIST THE TEMPTATION, REVENGE.)

4. I LOLed forever at Daniel crying to Margaux about how she’ll save him and make him a better person. Oh, Daniel. There is zero hope of you redeeming yourself ever. You and Emily are already carbon copies of your parents — and don’t get me wrong, it is super entertaining for me — but you are never coming back from becoming Conrad.

Daniel and Emily3

5. Victoria doing the blood test on Carl was unexpected and I honestly have no idea how they’re going to sustain this show next season if she knows the truth. (Also, Jack can afford a nanny now? Okay.)

But I’m more interested in Charlotte’s reaction, assuming she also finds out the full truth at some point. And I don’t mean how it affects her relationship with Emily, since the writers have been so all over the map with that this season that they effectively no longer have a relationship to either hurt or save — even before the whole kidnapping thing.

Charlotte kidnapped

But the one thing I’ve ever really enjoyed about Charlotte has been the relationship they’ve built between her, Jack and Carl. Her discovering that not only is Carl not her nephew but that Jack has known about Emily and actually participated in her abduction is actually a revelation that I care about.

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