FauxLuke explains it all.

If by “all” you mean “a bunch of crap we already knew.” And by “explains” you mean “drearily monologues for an entire episode.”

We did learn one new thing — apparently, FauxLuke has been waiting for an opportunity to grab real Luke for years. Not sure what was stopping him from stepping in all those other times Luke’s dropped off the map, but okay.

FauxLuke

Of course, FauxLuke also claims to have been studying Luke’s life all that time too… but somehow missed details like Luke calling Tracy “Spanky” or the fact that the Outback has been gone for a decade. Basically, FauxLuke is terrible at his job.

(And don’t get me started on his gleeful taunting about having sex with her while she thinks he’s really Luke. I have zero faith in this show’s ability to deal with the magnitude of that violation when Tracy finally learns the truth, and I’m already irritated in advance by the way they’ll probably gloss right over what amounts to at least several months of rape.)

Julexis kiss6

Meanwhile, everything is horrible with Julian and Alexis, and effing Ric of all people is going to come out of this like a martyred victim and just shoot me now. Seriously.

On the plus side, we also got to hear Sonny call a woman whore because she might be his fifth baby mama! I certainly never get tired of listening to Sonny judge other people’s lack of sexual control, that’s for sure!

 (The only reason I’m not screaming right now is the faint hope that this might actually be Morgan’s baby. I can’t believe that sentence came out of my brain either, but there it is: I really hope that Morgan’s stupid hair genes are about to be passed onto the world.)

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12 thoughts on “FauxLuke explains it all.

  1. I was going to comment on some of the rumors regarding Ric and Julian, but decided not to since there is this ABC guy running around squabbling with soap opera sites and getting them shut down.

  2. This is why I love soaps. If the baby is Morgan’s kid (please, yes!) – at some point that kid will be introduced as his ex-wife’s half sibling. And that? Awesome .

  3. Never pay attention to rumors from less than reputable sites that clearly hate on actors and certain pairings. Don’t begrudge ABC from intervening in cases where sources claim actors are being fired, quitting or “benched”. . That’s beyond cruel to post crap like that for ANY reason.

    I am enjoying what’s on my screen. Julian and Alexis even in deep angst are still much more fun to watch than other stories on the show. Thanks to ABC and GH for giving them much more air time! Bravo!

  4. stupid that sonny could have another child….

    stupid that this isn’t luke…..at this point in time, I so don’t care who he is….

    would serve st sonny so right if the kid was margan’s…….after all….

    he’d make such a better father then st sonny ever did….

    and when are him and micheal going t find out that st sonny was the one who killed aj…that’s the story that I’m waiting for…..

    and then sonny can go away forever, for all I care.

    alexis and Julian…..love them….can’t get enough…….hate what faux whoever is doing to them….

    susan

    . Julian and Alexis even in deep angst are still much more fun to watch than other stories on the show

    now that’s so a line that they need to read and run with it……

    no one cares about who luke is going to turn out to be….they need to get rid of the mob, once and for all….and hello, the last thing we need is another who’s your daddy…….

    he’s done what 4 now in just a year……..

  5. “If by “all” you mean “a bunch of crap we already knew.” And by “explains” you mean “drearily monologues for an entire episode.”

    Amen. And his performance was not particularly great either. It wasn’t fine, but it certainly didn’t blow my socks off. But he’ll probably win an Emmy anyway. Here’s hoping it’s a retirement Emmy.

    I really want Morgan’s reaction to Ava’s pregnancy to be, “will they accept 5 dollars and a stick of gum as payment for an abortion?! Do they sell abortions at the supermarket?!”

    If Ava really is pregnant, I do think it’s Morgan’s probably. I’ve seen some people speculate she will miscarry and steal the Lante embryo . . . which. If that happens, just look for me rocking in a corner, clutching my hair. Probably Dominic Zamprogna and Emme Rylan will be doing the same.

    • Personally, I thought the performance was great, even though I completely agree with the original thought.

      Also great? The fact that that awful hair (3rd worst do on Luke – or whoever – of all time) is a rug.

      • I didn’t think he was bad, but I definitely wasn’t blown away like I have been by past performances. I have high standards for the man, I admit

  6. Oh, I will add, I don’t think “whore” is the show’s view on Ava, thankfully. That’s just Sonny, being his usual gross self. i would have cried foul if he didn’t say that word. Man, I really hope there are some sort of actual consequences at the end of all this. Prison, losing all his money and having to live above Kelly’s . . . *something*.

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