Studies in boredom, part II: half-week in review

ROSALIE: Good morning, Doctor Buttface. I see you didn’t die in your sleep. Pity.
SILAS: Why am I still paying you, again?
NINA: Contrivance, mostly. Say, do you like my eyeliner? I put it on at extra strength evil.

MORGAN: Kiki, now that you’re here, this multi-million dollar construction project will be done in no time!
LEVI: Not if I have anything to say about it, mate.
MORGAN: You’re protesting a home remodel? [*actual dialog]
MICHAEL: Listen, gentrification is an important and complex issue in urban communities–
LEVI: Corporate greed! Meat is murder! Fight the power! Social justice stereotype!
MICHAEL: You’re just… shouting random buzzwords at me now, aren’t you?

***

FRANCO: But Carly, you talked to another man! What other choice did I have but to betray your confidence and destroy your son’s life?
CARLY: Yeah, we’re breaking up.
FRANCO: Oh, come on, baby. Don’t be like that. I’ll never do it again, I swear.
CARLY: Is this supposed to be an abusive relationship? I can’t tell.

DELIA: So you straight up witnessed a mob boss murder a man? And he’s going to hold you prisoner for months before murdering you too?
AVA: Help me, mother! You’re my only hope!
DELIA: But you’re allowed to make unsupervised phone calls?
AVA: If only there was someone I could call!
DELIA: You know they have this thing called witness protection now?
AVA: What’s your point?

OLIVIA: I’m sure I’ll forgive your father some day. Lord knows I’ve forgiven him for worse. [*actual dialog]
DANTE: You sure have! Like that time he shot me in the chest.
OLIVIA: Yup. You almost died! And then I slept with him anyway.
DANTE: You’re a great mom.

***

SAM: Hey, wanna violate your customers’ privacy? Don’t worry — I’ve spent so much time at the police station, I’m practically an honorary cop.
CAR GUY: This makes me uncomfortable.
PATRICK: Listen, you don’t understand — this is for vigilante justice.
CAR GUY: Well, why didn’t you say so!

LEVI: You can’t arrest me! I’m squatting here!
NATHAN: No, you’re not.
LEVI: How would you know?
NATHAN: Because we live together? [*actual dialog]
MAXIE: Hey, don’t bully him with logic!
MICHAEL: Maxie, when I say you used to have better taste than this, remember that includes Spinelli. Think about that for a minute. Spinelli.

despair-divider

In other news, in case it’s not obvious, I just can’t with this show lately, y’all. Thank God for Alexis and Ned, is all I can say. Also: Nathan’s pretty, pretty eyelashes.

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14 thoughts on “Studies in boredom, part II: half-week in review

  1. I think the saddest part is that you were able to pretty seamlessly weave in actual dialog. Don’t hate the show, but way WAY too many new characters. Why’d they kill off ALL the Quartermaines? I’d much rather see young Michael interacting with his aunts Emily and Skye and dad AJ. They could do a “Sonny betrayed Michael” storyline with AJ shot and recovering – and imagine Sonny having to eat crow and apologizing to AJ?

    Levi and Franco need to GO yesterday. I don’t even care about their contrived connections to the history of the show/town. I will promise a portion of my paycheck for the rest of my life to help pay for a revival of Port Charles if Levi and Franco go to that part of town and promise never to come back. Ava needs to die in a spectacularly horrible way. Maura West is a great actress, but she murdered innocent Connie in cold blood for the stupidest of reasons (really? because she was about to out Julian? who got outed weeks later?). I vote for Sonny and Ava having a Kill Bill-style showdown, with both of ’em dead in the end…

    Also, I have a feeling “Brother-Husbands, Part 2” is about to present itself. I guess women’s revenge for sister-wives… the sad thing is the CBS shows are *worse.* In spades right now. B&B is unwatchable. And Y&R is just letting its storylines sit out there with no resolution…

  2. This makes me feel as though I don’t have to watch any of those 7 back logged shows on my DVR. Huzzah! (Am I way too excited about that?)

  3. levi so has to go……and then some..

    I havent’ seen tues-wed’s show…and I don’t think that I’m going to…..at this point in time…I’ve had updates on what’s going on…

    but….someone, (person who gives me the updates) says that levi is protesting so that maxie won’t get georgie for another six months….he’s a selfish, you know what…and it sure seems that way…

    I wish that the judge would wise up to him………first he calls to say that Nathan was lying…and now this…..

    susan

    I agree…..we don’t know who levi is…and truthfully no one cares about him…at least franco such as it is was a character that we knew about…

    oh and do you think we get resolutions before on GH…then YR does…don’t think so….we still don’t know who stupid fluke is…..

    and it’s only been a year….and we already know who Hillary is…what she did to neil…….we know that paul’s Dylan’s bio dad…and all that…but…

    nope…not fluke……believe me when I say that I believe that YR and is moving at a great pace…but…..so not GH…….for me it’s the opposite…

    susan

  4. Ava needs to die in a spectacularly horrible way. Maura West is a great actress, but she murdered innocent Connie in cold blood for the stupidest of reasons (really? because she was about to out Julian? who got outed weeks later?). I vote for Sonny and Ava having a Kill Bill-style showdown, with both of ‘em dead in the end…

    works for me..i haven’t been able to stand st sonny since…the time he took Brenda away from jax……by bringing his ex wife back to town…..so that he and Brenda wouldn’t be able to be married………I often wonder if Miranda, I think was her name, isn’t levi’s mom….I think that mac knew her…….it was hinted at, at the time…that mac knew Miranda as well as jax….this isn’t a spoiler…but an observation that I remember….

    susan

  5. Also, I have a feeling “Brother-Husbands, Part 2″ is about to present itself. I guess women’s revenge for sister-wives… the sad thing is the CBS shows are *worse.* In spades right now. B&B is unwatchable. And Y&R is just letting its storylines sit out there with no resolution…

    it was what weeks, that we knew why austen wanted avery dead…not a year…….we knew about Hillary in a matter of months…….not a year….

    so…..I don’t watch bb..so I really don’t know about that show….but…….for me…YR has direction…and fast….but….nope…not GH..

    I havent’ watched days in years..i might start again…it’s been around three…but….they move at a snail’s pace as well…..

    susan

  6. I thought, “Oh, a simple way to catch up on a show I haven’t seen in a while!” And then I only recognized about 35% of the character names. Yikes!

  7. I thought, “What a simple way to catch up on a show I haven’t seen in a while!” And then I only recognized about 35% of the character names. Yikes.

  8. So I’ve FINALLY had the opportunity to watch some GH – about 6 or 7 episodes over the last 3 or 4 weeks. I could have watched more, but to be honest, if the episode description included “sonny and ______ discuss _______” I peaced out.

    Anyway, I basically hated Levi about 8 seconds after I first laid eyes on him and I loathe him more with each additional scene I see him in. I had to come here immediately because I swear my exact thought was “tenillypo has GOT to have something to say about this douche”. As usual, you didn’t disappoint :P What even is this whole thing with him and Maxie supposed to be? Kirsten Storms looks like she’s almost embarrassed to be stuck in the middle of this ridiculous and incomprehensible coupling. He’s a cartoon, and a highly unpleasant one at that.

    I was interested to see what Nina’s deal was, because I read something about how Michelle Stafford took the job at GH so she could do something different, because she’s apparently sooo over playing Phyllis. Oops. Bet she’s pissed now. I have to admit, though, I realized during one episode that her scenes were the only ones I was enjoying because she’s playing the psycho with such hilarious campiness and since Silas does nothing for me, I don’t really care what may or may not happen to him. And I TOTALLY noticed how they suddenly dialed up the dark eye makeup! Thank goodness, otherwise how would we be able to tell that Nina is “bad”?

    I’m shocked how detached I am from almost everyone who graced the scene in the episodes I’ve seen. I still want to hug Patrick forever and wipe his pretty tears away, but I don’t much care about this baby of Sabrina’s they are going on about. I know I’m supposed to, but I don’t.

    I see that Sonny and Carly are still THE WORST. I see that Dante & Lulu have the dullest of storylines, and that I’m still not over Julie Berman not playing Lulu anymore. I see that Anna Devane is still a queen although I didn’t see much of her. And I see a whole lot of people I don’t recognize. From what you’ve said, sounds like that golden period is over and things are generally back to sucking? :|

  9. Really? A bickering non-couple destined to be a couple is accidentally handcuffed together? Maxie is a good character, I hate for her to be caught in this silly cartoon w hippie stereotype and hot boy stereotype. Though at least Nathan is cool to look at. I dont know who 1/3 of the cast is and I don’t really care. I miss AJ.

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