ROSALIE: Good morning, Doctor Buttface. I see you didn’t die in your sleep. Pity.
SILAS: Why am I still paying you, again?
NINA: Contrivance, mostly. Say, do you like my eyeliner? I put it on at extra strength evil.
MORGAN: Kiki, now that you’re here, this multi-million dollar construction project will be done in no time!
LEVI: Not if I have anything to say about it, mate.
MORGAN: You’re protesting a home remodel? [*actual dialog]
MICHAEL: Listen, gentrification is an important and complex issue in urban communities–
LEVI: Corporate greed! Meat is murder! Fight the power! Social justice stereotype!
MICHAEL: You’re just… shouting random buzzwords at me now, aren’t you?
FRANCO: But Carly, you talked to another man! What other choice did I have but to betray your confidence and destroy your son’s life?
CARLY: Yeah, we’re breaking up.
FRANCO: Oh, come on, baby. Don’t be like that. I’ll never do it again, I swear.
CARLY: Is this supposed to be an abusive relationship? I can’t tell.
DELIA: So you straight up witnessed a mob boss murder a man? And he’s going to hold you prisoner for months before murdering you too?
AVA: Help me, mother! You’re my only hope!
DELIA: But you’re allowed to make unsupervised phone calls?
AVA: If only there was someone I could call!
DELIA: You know they have this thing called witness protection now?
AVA: What’s your point?
OLIVIA: I’m sure I’ll forgive your father some day. Lord knows I’ve forgiven him for worse. [*actual dialog]
DANTE: You sure have! Like that time he shot me in the chest.
OLIVIA: Yup. You almost died! And then I slept with him anyway.
DANTE: You’re a great mom.
SAM: Hey, wanna violate your customers’ privacy? Don’t worry — I’ve spent so much time at the police station, I’m practically an honorary cop.
CAR GUY: This makes me uncomfortable.
PATRICK: Listen, you don’t understand — this is for vigilante justice.
CAR GUY: Well, why didn’t you say so!
LEVI: You can’t arrest me! I’m squatting here!
NATHAN: No, you’re not.
LEVI: How would you know?
NATHAN: Because we live together? [*actual dialog]
MAXIE: Hey, don’t bully him with logic!
MICHAEL: Maxie, when I say you used to have better taste than this, remember that includes Spinelli. Think about that for a minute. Spinelli.
In other news, in case it’s not obvious, I just can’t with this show lately, y’all. Thank God for Alexis and Ned, is all I can say. Also: Nathan’s pretty, pretty eyelashes.