Guys, I enjoyed Franco today. Without irony. He high-fived a potential gay threesome and I reflexively high-fived him back before realizing what I’d done. I feel so… dirty.
(I’m going to chalk it up to general shock over the last few days not boring me to tears. Adults having mature conversations! Something finally effing happening with Levi! AN ENTIRE EPISODE ABOUT THREESOMES.)
Regarding the latter, I’m not sure what I enjoyed more: Carly’s hilarious prudishness about the whole concept or the incredible amount of chutzpah needed for this entire conversation:
LUCAS: Oh, come on! You were pretty wild back in the day. You telling me you never did anything adventurous–
CARLY: I had a guy on the side. He lived in a room above the Floating Rib, which used to be called Jake’s. And I told him I didn’t want to know his name or anything about him, and I spent the whole summer seducing a married man. And then I would sneak off to see my guy, who was exciting and dangerous and fun — but not in a threesome kind of way.
Okay, first of all, the thought of Tony and Jason in a threeway might have just broken my brain. (Are you picturing it now too? Can you not unsee it? I’M SO SORRY.)
Secondly — I’m not sure what face I’d make while casually bringing up that time I seduced my brother’s father to break up our mother’s marriage. But it probably wouldn’t be this one:
REMEMBER WHEN I RUINED YOUR CHILDHOOD?
IT’S GOOD WE CAN LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW.
Oh, Carly. Never change.
Also on the subject off threesomes, Britt and Brad continue to be the best quasi-evil morally flexible besties. And this happened:
BRAD: I’m not going to give up on Lucas. You shouldn’t give up on Nikolas either.
BRITT: Oh, if you think I’m going to have a threesome with Elizabeth Webber, you are out of your damn mind.
DON’T TEASE ME LIKE THAT, SHOW. IT’S NOT NICE.
Not that I can blame her for avoiding any threesome that involves The Monstrosity Formerly Known As Nikolas’ Hair.
WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE?
I’M SO CONFUSED.
He looked normal a few days ago, right? Like, I didn’t hallucinate the good haircut during the whole Search for Spencer, did I?
I can only assume the trauma caused some sort of nervous break. Either that, or Nikolas has been replaced by his evil twin, Fernando, known for his sinister goatee and weird puffy 90s greasebomb pompadour.