Has hell finally frozen over?

Guys, I enjoyed Franco today. Without irony. He high-fived a potential gay threesome and I reflexively high-fived him back before realizing what I’d done. I feel so… dirty.

(I’m going to chalk it up to general shock over the last few days not boring me to tears. Adults having mature conversations! Something finally effing happening with Levi! AN ENTIRE EPISODE ABOUT THREESOMES.)

high five for threesomes

Regarding the latter, I’m not sure what I enjoyed more: Carly’s hilarious prudishness about the whole concept or the incredible amount of chutzpah needed for this entire conversation:

LUCAS: Oh, come on! You were pretty wild back in the day. You telling me you never did anything adventurous–
CARLY: I had a guy on the side. He lived in a room above the Floating Rib, which used to be called Jake’s. And I told him I didn’t want to know his name or anything about him, and I spent the whole summer seducing a married man. And then I would sneak off to see my guy, who was exciting and dangerous and fun — but not in a threesome kind of way.

Okay, first of all, the thought of Tony and Jason in a threeway might have just broken my brain. (Are you picturing it now too? Can you not unsee it? I’M SO SORRY.)

Secondly — I’m not sure what face I’d make while casually bringing up that time I seduced my brother’s father to break up our mother’s marriage. But it probably wouldn’t be this one:

Carly is shameless

REMEMBER WHEN I RUINED YOUR CHILDHOOD?
IT’S GOOD WE CAN LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW.

Oh, Carly. Never change.

Also on the subject off threesomes, Britt and Brad continue to be the best quasi-evil morally flexible besties. And this happened:

Britt threesome

BRAD: I’m not going to give up on Lucas. You shouldn’t give up on Nikolas either.
BRITT: Oh, if you think I’m going to have a threesome with Elizabeth Webber, you are out of your damn mind.

DON’T TEASE ME LIKE THAT, SHOW. IT’S NOT NICE.

Not that I can blame her for avoiding any threesome that involves The Monstrosity Formerly Known As Nikolas’ Hair.

Nik's terrible hair

WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE?
I’M SO CONFUSED.

He looked normal a few days ago, right? Like, I didn’t hallucinate the good haircut during the whole Search for Spencer, did I?

I can only assume the trauma caused some sort of nervous break. Either that, or Nikolas has been replaced by his evil twin, Fernando, known for his sinister goatee and weird puffy 90s greasebomb pompadour.

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26 thoughts on “Has hell finally frozen over?

  1. I think that your writing is great. I’m in the middle of a horrible, no good, very bad fortnight and your words have put a smile on my face. Thank you.

  2. Agree on Nik’s hair…what’s up with hair and make-up at GH? I think they also routinely make Maura West look strange as well – and that’s hard to do. Why do they put mascara on her lower lashes? It was a decent episode, but I’m mostly watching for Maxie and Nathan these days.

  3. I guess I disagree. After watching the past two days, I felt truly embarrassed FOR the show for the first time since before I stopped watching Guza’s misogynist mess. RC’s clearly out of his cage again. On the up side, Orange is the New Black is truly a great alternative on Netflix to watching this mess.

  4. In total agreement with how much fun the show has been lately. I’m pretty sure we won’t get on screen threesomes, but that intelligent and funny conversations happened about the possibility was just too cool. And also loved the sounds of heads exploding on the internet.

    Levi is so much more interesting as a crazed conman. And Franco-a sympathetic listener who hates the Golden Girls theme as much as I do-YES!

    • My head didn’t explode over a mere threesome being played for laughs. My head rolled its eyes wearily at the gay characters on the show being put in that position, adding to the list of stereotypes piled on top of three of them. Well four if you count Milo’s clearly plot pointed rewrite in sexual orientation. It’d see less like a stereotypical add on if we had actually seen any of these gay characters in relationships with other each other or other men that were taken more seriously by the show in terms of both air time and story. But no we haven’t. So now we have this filler space filled with some banal talk about a threesome. Felix talking random to Franco? Well I guess they’re running out of ways to make Franco seem relevant, and an even goofier rewrite of the serial killer and rapist he once used to be.

      (only good part of this week’s episodes so far was Olivia telling Carly WHY she was with Franco which was so spot on, thank you writers it only took you over a year to tell that side.)

      I’ve reviewed novels about characters who do threesomes so sorry but it takes a little more than one played solely for laughs (because we know unlike the novels, a conservative network like ABC-D will never go there) to make my head explode.

  5. I think it is more RH charm coming through sometimes more than the characters he plays.
    Speaking of RH or any of the actors, I think they need to lay off the cover up. I sometimes feel it accentuates what they are trying to hide. These are beautiful and handsome people and forehead lines and laugh lines does not detract from that.
    I can but also can not believe Carly would talk about that with Lucas. Especially since it resulted in Tony leaving him so he could kidnap and keep Michael. That just seems like a weird writing and acting choice.
    Oh it makes me sad if they are still pushing a Nik and Liz story. I liked them as part of the four musketeers but not as a couple. It just makes me miss AJ. I liked how they were slowly building that up and the chemistry plus if they do bring a Jason back that would worked. It would of opened up all of AJ’s insecurities and also Jason’s regret that he had after Jake was born. I think I’m remembering that right that he felt bad for keeping AJ and Michael apart once he became a father.

    • Jason apologized to AJ’s gravesite that he kept Michael from his father.

      Let’s stop trying to make Niz happen, please. Liz and Nik work best as BFF’s and I say this as someone who positively loathes LnL2 and Lucky Spencer.

    • Yeah the Chris Van Ettan (heavy on banal humor and going for “shock” value over plot) and Scott Sickles (heavy on camp) combo doesn’t work for me. This whole week just icky and it made me cringe to watch a show that must be marketed for the kiddy market.

      The much set up return of Jason who ate the show nearly to cancellation in 2011 and the likely (again) back burning of Julexis, along with having poorly written new characters shoved down my throat…I just can’t not even to poke fun at it. I might check back in a month to see if it’s watchable again. The wedding with the two blonde little girls being held captive by the bad guys while looking like they were more upset about their clothes getting wrinkled than being held at gunpoint…FF material. The women on this show are such helpless twits.

  6. Looks like the show is finally caving to Niz fans. I’m embarrassed for my fellow Liz fans that want Liz with Nikolas. How do you watch the horrible character destroying affair that was Niz, and think great tortured couple? I’m sorry, but barf. I can’t with Nik. Never have, and never will.

  7. Ok, Friday is the day I’m free to watch. I just turned GH on. It was Liz talking about how she cant just tell Nik ” Take me I’m yours.” No, just no. I did not realize it had progressed to this. I thought they were maybe just doing that circling around each other that they sometimes do. Ok my little mini rant. I’m so tired and fed up with this. I have been a Liz fan, favorite character, for something like 16 years and maybe more. I feel like she and her fans keep getting slapped in the face with all the waiting and teasing of potential relationships, horrible re writes, and just bringing her out to prop other characters. I can’t believe how upset this makes me, I really thought I was numb to it by now. I guess I just was putting to much hope into the new regime. If they can’t find it to write a love story for her how about reconnecting with her parents? I’d love that.
    Ok rant over. I apologize if I bothered anyone with this.

    • I agree with you 100%. Liz Webber is the reason I watch this show. Rebecca Herbst is wildly popular and has been for almost two decades. I just don’t understand why writers refuse to write for this beloved character and superb talant.

  8. I would like to post about my deep disappointment in the development with Felix in the 8/15 episode. From the posts I read here (and other soap opera message boards) I gather that Felix is not very popular. I like Felix but completely understand why he would be disliked by many. 1.) he’s been woefully underdeveloped and 2.) deeply attached to Sabrina who is shallow and propped-up. When introduced, Felix was fun and funny. The character was lively and joyful. The past year Felix has been written as unhappy, miserable, desperate and morose. Sadly, Friday’s episode exemplified how pathetically written Felix is. I felt that Felix was the “butt of the joke” of Milo confessing his sudden and significant crush on…Epiphany! Seriously?! In the scenes of Milo’s confession, Felix (superbly performed by Marc Anthony Samuel) vacillated from confusion, hope and despair in one scene. It was crushing. I’m glad Felix wasn’t broken by the development and hope for the return of the fun and bold Felix I loved but I am not confident in the writers to abilities.

    I felt embarrassed for Felix but also angry that the Lucas would be so callous and cruel as to invite Felix and Brad into a “threesome” if Brad was the one he wanted to be with. He knew that when making the arrangement!!! I had no problem with the proposal of a threesome but I do have a problem that Lucas is written as a cad and Brad a buffoon while Felix is left out in the cold. As underdeveloped as Felix is, he’s more developed than Lucas and Brad! I also think Marc Anthony Samuel is the superior talent of the trio (Ryan Carnes is hot as hell but not a compelling actor and Perry Shen is just not very good.) Why is a show called “General Hospital” unwilling to write quality story for nurse, Liz and Felix? If they are not on the periphery of poorly written “triangles” they are relegated to propping up Sabrina Santiago (whenever she’s onscreen.)

    • I personally am ecstatic that Lucas and Brad are back together. They’re perfect for each other. I really love that couple.
      That being said…Felix is too good for both of them…lol. Lucas and Brad are 2 hot scheming lil hoes…hahaha

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