It’s not exactly a shock to finally get confirmation that Billy Miller is coming on as Jason recast. Both because, duh, of course he is. But now that it’s official, I’d like it noted for the record that there are about a million characters I’d rather see recast than the guy who literally ate the show for 20 years straight.
(Hello, Dillon? Serena? Lucky Spencer, who has now abandoned his kids, missed both his parents’ weddings, never met his new nephew, and whose sister has just been kidnapped for the third time in the last two years alone? LUCKY, STOP DICKING AROUND AFRICA, ALREADY. GOD.)
So, our brief, Jason-less holiday is apparently over. Now the only question is whether or not Miller will have the right chemistry with his many, many love interests — Sonny, Sam, Elizabeth, Carly, Robin — all of whom are currently otherwise occupied. (And don’t get me wrong, I would basically chew off my own arm to get Liz away from Nik and his tragic hair, but it would be kind of typical if she and Jason finally got a good love story with him as an effing recast.)
Meanwhile, I’m currently enjoying Sam more than I have since McBain sauntered out of town in a haze of laconic sarcasm, shaggy hair and unresolved sexual tension. The thought of Jason wandering back in to mess that up is kind of making me ill.
TOTES ADORBS. (TOTES.)
Plus, when was the last time we saw Patrick happy? He has been a super sad panda going on three years now. If we can’t have Robin, then I don’t hate seeing him smiling and flirting and hanging out with a woman in his actual age bracket, you know?
In related news, my scruffy, bug-eyed boyfriend is back!
SILVER LIKE A FOX
Unfortunately, he’s only here to give Sabrina Santiago, girl detective, the first clue in her super serious investigation. Which involved — I kid you not — this actual dialog:
CARLOS: If you want to live, you have to let this go. Ava hired someone to run a pregnant woman and a little girl off the road. She killed AJ, and if she didn’t? Well, she’s behind it somehow. And I know for a fact that AJ is not her first victim. If Ava is threatened or backed into a corner–
SABRINA: [incredulously] She’ll what? She’ll kill me?
CARLOS: Yes! Like, that is literally what I just said. Are you even listening to me? Because this is kind of important stuff, Sabrina. It would be good if you were at least listening. God, it’s like talking to a teenager. Which, by the way, you probably were when we started dating. I guess I’m kind of a perv, actually.
As you can see, I still have strong but confused feelings about him. (Oh, Carrrrlos.)
Finally, here is a picture of Lucas and Brad canoodling:
I have no commentary other than that I love them. You’re welcome.