Anyone familiar with my love of both scenery chewing and camp could probably predict my reaction to the return of Stavros Cassadine. (Spoiler alert: that reaction was excited seal clapping.)
The man is kind of like a bag of Sour Patch Kids, you know? Sure, if you eat the whole thing, your mouth is going to hurt. But a little bit of him admonishing other people for being melodramatic while giving a speech about impregnating his ice princess with her own stolen embryo is just the perfect sugary hit you need.
Robert Kelker-Kelly is a national treasure, you guys. Even if he did make the poor decision to shave his goatee of evil. And he’s clearly inspiring everyone around him, judging by Dominic Zamprogna’s hilariously over the top screaming as Lulu received her hormone injection.
The only thing that delighted me more than watching Stavros ham it up all over the place was Ned and Alexis (!!!) commiserating and flirting (!!!!) and casually joking about that time she left him at the altar. OH EM GEE, you guys. If we get a genuine triangle/quad with Julian and Olivia out of this, I might die of happiness.
Also, is it just me, or does Wally Kurth have a portrait in the attic somewhere?
THE DIMPLES OF A 35 YEAR OLD
Although it would be awful nice if Alexis could also get involved with all the Cassadine business that’s suddenly afoot. As Victor pointed out, there aren’t so many of them left that it makes sense to leave anyone out. And clearly, she would be useful helping her new nephew adjust to being one of the few non-lunatic members of the family.
Speaking of Nathan, my long lost co-blogger and I chatted about the show the other day, and I’m pleased to report that we are currently on exactly the same page:
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Okay, I know GH has really managed my expectations and manipulated me with its awfulness, but I LOVE that Nathan could be a Cassadine
TENILLYPO: he’s so stupid but so sweet.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: look, I love him for what he is
TENILLYPO: half naked?
We are women of simple needs.
Even Thursday’s return to all of the plots that are terrible wasn’t a complete loss. Mostly because Sabrina’s attempts to be menacing are inherently LOLarious. Especially when the person she’s attempting to menace is the Grand Mistress of threats and intimidation. It’s a like watching a hamster try to stare down a velociraptor.
SHAKING IN MY BOOTS, I’M SURE.
If Sabrina’s plots from now on are limited to her wandering around town, incompetently hissing and glaring at her enemies while they look on in confused annoyance, that would easily be the most entertaining thing she’s ever done.
Meanwhile, Michelle Stafford, who actually can pull off a good menacing crazy, certainly seems to be enjoying herself. I wish I could stay the same, but it’s hard when I could not care less about Nina or anyone on her list.
THE LIST IS THE LIFE
But it’s stil hard not to empathize with her at least a little bit when her droopy buzz kill of a husband can barely stay awake when they’re in the same room. I don’t like to think of myself as a picky woman, but if you want to be my life partner, you had better at least pretend to be excited when I tell you about my favorite tv show. Silas is the worst, y’all.