Five Things About Revenge: “Ashes”

1. OH NO, WILL EMILY DIE? …no.

But her brush with smoke inhalation did have the side-benefit of kicking Nolan’s adorable over-protectiveness into high gear. Which is fortunate, because Daddy Dearest decided to just kill this woman he’s never even met, based solely on the word of a woman who was partially responsible for sending him to prison.

Nolan saves Emily

David sees Emily

Solid life choices, David. A+ for still being the biggest patsy around, 20 years running. (Margaux allowing herself to be blatantly manipulated by Victoria is a close runner up. Are we actually supposed to believe she’s a savvy business woman?)

2. Louise — Victoria’s little protégé from the mental institution — has a secret agenda! And a really inconsistent accent! Is the actress trying to be… Southern? Or is it the character who’s trying and just really bad at it? If Elena Satine is actually trying to portray that her character is a terrible actress, then bravo, I guess. Mission accomplished.

Her devious plan so far involves an “accidental” run in with Daniel, who’s discovered he’s both unemployable and homeless.

Louise and Daniel

(Tips for the newly bankrupt: try stretching out the paltry remains of your once great fortunes by not living in enormous luxury hotel suites for months on end.)

3. Officer Nosy continues to follow Emily around and flirt really awkwardly with her. For some reason, Ems’ normally really excellent radar for sketchiness doesn’t seem to have kicked in yet. But her disdainful rejection of his come ons was still fantastic.

4. Charlotte met David! And she feels sort of bad about all that arson/attempted murder business from the day before. Not really bad, mind you. Just a little uncomfortable.

Victoria shotgun

ANYONE ELSE HAVING BAD GIRLS FLASHBACKS?

Also, the writers are still tap dancing madly to avoid having to explain where David’s been and why he’s not dead. Even odds on whether that’s because the answer Will! Change! Everything! Forever! or if they just haven’t figured it out how to write themselves out of this corner yet.

5. Jack is thinking of not rebuilding the bar. Which he can do, because apparently the arson investigation ruled everything an accident caused by faulty wiring, despite the fact that it was actually started by Charlotte pouring several gallons of gasoline on the floor.

I may not actually be a qualified fire investigator, but I’m pretty sure that’s the kind of thing they supposed to notice?

 

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