Songs in the key of crazy ladies.

If there’s one thing I’m already appreciating about Billy Miller’s Jason, it’s… okay, it’s everything. I appreciate everything about him. LET’S NOT BE COY.

But I especially appreciate the fact that he has more than one facial expression, and almost all of them are incredibly snarky. This is handy, because Elizabeth’s snark-ometer has been off the charts lately, too.

Jason has facial expressions now

Liz snark

ADORABLE SNARKY BABIES

You all know that nothing makes me happier than soap characters casually explaining SOAPS! insanity to newcomers, so if Liz just keeps explaining the utterly bananas history of everyone they run into while Jason makes incredulous faces in the background, I’ll be pretty much in heaven. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, YOU GUYS.

Unfortunately, there are other things happening than my latent Liz/Jason feelings reawakening like a dormant volcano of sixteen year old squee. And 95% of them involve either Sonny or crazy moms. Which is painful for me.

I’ve got nothing against crazy ladies in general. Some of my very favorite ladies are of the crazier variety! But it starts to feel a little pointed when between Sabrina, Heather, Madeline, Liesl, and Nina, you’ve got five crazy mothers featured in one week. That is… a lot of crazy moms.

Happy Heather

Sabrina, alone, has now had two separate breaks from reality. I actually laughed out loud when Felix told her it was basically no big deal that she’d deliberately tried to cause a patient’s miscarriage because she was grieving. What’s a little attempted murder when you’re really, really sad? And isn’t it cute how when men lose a child on this show, they just get angry and determined and run off to have adventures in Amsterdam?

Of course, if ladies aren’t trying to kill babies, they’re trying to steal them. Stealing babies is the fashion trend in Port Charles that just. Will. Not. Die. About the only nice thing I can say about the NINA WAS ALWAYS SUPER CRAY retcon is at least it doesn’t lay her descent into madness solely at the feet of her miscarriage. But everything else about it is obviously ludicrous. (Dear writers: pretty sure putting someone in a coma for 20 years is still a crime for which you can be charged.)

None of this is Michelle Stafford’s fault. She’s the only thing making any of this hot mess even remotely watchable.

Nina and Madeline

I want to make “REPEEEEEEEEENT!” my new ringtone.

It’s just impossible to invest in Nina when she’s so isolated. Nathan came to town obsessed with justice for her, but they’ve shared maybe five minutes of screen time together since she turned up alive. They didn’t even bother to give her a reaction when he was held hostage at her old rehab facility! And it took months to even half-heartedly acknowledge her connections to Obrecht and Britt, both of whom could have been providing her with valuable revenge and babynapping tips this whole time.

(Dear show: much will be forgiven if this actually ends up happening.)

But the biggest problem is Silas. Stafford is giving it her all, but she might as well have been screaming at a chair the other day. He has yet to provide a single explanation or apology for his affair. It certainly couldn’t have been because he actually cared about Ava, since he’s failed to ever display the slightest hint of affection for her beyond begrudging medical care.

Bored Silas

Listening to his wife have a mental breakdown?
Or composing his grocery list? Who can tell.

Of course, there’s also no hint that he ever had real feelings toward Nina either, so I guess maybe that’s just Silas’ MO: drifting through life, staring blankly and falling into a parade of indifferent vaginas.

The only connection of Nina’s that actually works is her weird friendship with Franco. Which is problematic because Franco is still Franco, aka, a human disaster on every level. I was never a fan of the Carly/Franco pairing, but the speed at which she’s gone from genuinely in love with him to fearfully marrying him to keep his silence is kind of baffling? And I might feel sort of bad for him because of that, except he’s reverted to full on psychopath, therefore negating every bit of lame “it was just the tumor!” redemption they’ve tried to shove onto his character.

WHO ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR HERE? WHO? Certainly not Carly and Sonny, because anticipating the moment Michael finally realizes their monstrous selfishness is all that’s keeping me going. And certainly not Franco, because… it’s Franco.

It’s a predicament.

despair-divider

Meanwhile, the only thing more popular than baby stealing right now is unemployment. Everything about evil Judge PlotPoint forbidding Maxie and Nathan to date is so stupid that I cant even bother to mock it, but if he’d denied custody because she hasn’t had a job in over a YEAR for no freaking reason, I would have stood up and clapped .

And I guess Kiki is a construction foreman now? Before that she may have been working at the hospital in some unspecified capacity that I assume was janitorial, considering that before that, she apparently just dropped out of school on a whim and neither mentioned nor spoke to anyone from her previous life ever again. Ditto for Morgan, who’s gone from college student to mob flunky to interior designer in the space of a year. Is Lulu still running the Haunted Star? Where would she even find the time between obsessing over the many babies she’s lost and regained and longs to be pregnant with again?

SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO ALL THESE PEOPLE DO ALL DAY?

Bobbie and Brad

Which is why I’m giving half a brownie point to the Lucas/Brad/Bobbie scenes where they laid out a ridiculous reason for the former’s months of joblessness.

(Also, because Bobbie leaping on the chance to gang up on Lucas with his new boyfriend was super obnoxious in such a patented Barbara Jean non-crazy mom way. Bless her meddling little heart.)

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20 thoughts on “Songs in the key of crazy ladies.

    • Yeah, I assumed she was. But since we never hear her talk about it or see her there, it feels like she’s got nothing other that talking about babies. Which is sad.

      • she was the one who set up Maxie’s wedding then, and we heard about it today too. They could definitely stand to mention it more often though

  1. this whole post these are my exact sentiments about current GH especially BH/BM and sourpuss Silas–Lante do nothing for me, Maxie’s voice almost breaks my crystal, I hated to admit NiCo were more interesting than Carson, michael, kiki, morgan, ava, bobbie, lucas all rolled in to one but they are–this from someone who has hated franco from his 1st appearance.

    Keep up the Liason/Lake GH writers there you are doing a great job.

  2. Your better than me. I haven’t been able to watch even a minute of it. I have read where people think Sonny will get away with killing AJ. Someone else will have snuck in and killed him. This is not a spoiler just a guess. The fact that he shot an unarmed man begging for his life doesn’t matter. Sonny walks again, I walk. From what I READ .The whole show should be filmed at the looniest bin whatever they call it this year. Miscavidge burned down, blew up from what I read.GH is being run by the loonest Dr O and the show is being written by 6th grade mean girls.. Ron writes the show just trying to get the best of the other one Kill Farren Phelps.

    • Well, I sincerely doubt Sonny is going to prison or leaving the show. I do expect that he will face some sort of serious consequences in the form of Michael disowning him. If that doesn’t actually happen, I will be severely disappointed/enraged.

      Miscavidge didn’t blow up; that was the clinic where Robin had been working for the Cassadines.

  3. Soap characters have been committing terrible acts and getting away with them for decades; maybe since the dawn of the genre, for all I know. The trick is to make it entertaining, first, and secondly, plausible within the paradigm of the show.

    So of course Sonny isn’t going to prison for killing AJ; the show’s challenge is to create a reason we can accept. And since there’s no forensic evidence and the only eye-witness is Ava, who’s hardly reliable, it really shouldn’t be that hard. Just as long as Michael knows and unleashes all his sad-puppy-dog fury on both his parents – and ideally, Kiki as well.

      • I’d love to see sonny huddling and crying like the egg-sucking dog that he is as someone kicks his ass he deserves it. Sorry if that sounds so mean

  4. I am not sure what is going on with Silas. The writers seem to be oblivious to the fact that he is a complete dud. He cheats on Nina with Ava after Nina put him through medical school. He meets Sam and forgets to mention that he has a wife in a coma and he is the chief suspect. During the time he is dating Sam, he is rude and mean to Ava as if it was all Ava’s fault he had the affair with her. When Nina shows up alive and well, he acts like he’d rather chew nails than give her the time of day but he won’t break it off. Instead he wants to date Sam while Nina is living in his apartment. I’m having a hard time buying him as a love interest that 3 beautiful women would want.

    • RIGHT? They’ve managed to make him so boring/unsympathetic that even when he has legitimate grievances like Ava keeping Kiki from him or Nina lying about everything, it’s still really hard to feel bad for him.

      • I don’t feel bad for him. He was rude to Ava before he found out she hid Kiki from him. Also, Sam tried to tell him that there were things about Nina that didn’t add up and he got snippy with her. Not only is he unsympathetic, he is gullible, which is not an attractive trait. It’s a shame because I loved Sam and McBain. I thought they were so sexy.

  5. But why do Dr. O, Brad,and Britt still have jobs? Why can’t Liz sue dr. o for everything she did to her,or now that Lante have their other embryo, have the police file charges? Why must Liz be worried about her job b/c of the woman that held her hostage and shot her? I did like Liz’s answer to O about Nik. I think Liz should have a seat on the board through gramps or grams.

  6. NUJason’s voice is really doing things for me…The fact that this man has amnesia, keeps saying things that remind Liz of Jason, remembers her name and the name Jake, and Jason’s body was never recovered DOESN’T make LIZ immediately jump on the “THIS MUST BE JASON” bandwagon is beyond hilarious, but I’ll play dumb too enjoy the ride.

    I am loving how protective JasonREdux is of Liz, it is making my poor Liasion heart flutter.

    Liz admiring his physique and commenting on it, and his reaction to her comment was adorable.

    Liesl is awesome. Threatening a bedridden amnesiac, and calling him Herr Doe was hilarious.

  7. God help me, or all of us, but I too have fallen so fast for new Jason and new Liason. I will never learn my lesson, I will forever get caught up in Liason. But new Jason is so awesome and funny and adorable and protective and follows Elizabeth around with his eyes. Can I hope that he never gets his memories back? Please?

    I cannot wait to hear your reaction to today’s scenes.

    -Kate

  8. To be fair about the “all the crazy mothers” thing, 3/5 of the women you mentioned are close relatives, so maybe it just runs in the family. I mean, what does it say that *Britt* is one of the more stable members of the Obrecht/West(bourne) clan?

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