Five Things About Revenge: “Contact”

1. Daniel and Emily’s glorious new frenemy-ship GIVES ME LIFE. I never want them to get back together because he is still human garbage. But I’m not not into the idea of some hate sex, you know?

Daniel and Emily

2. David got to see Emily beat some guys up! Which impressed him more than clearing his name and sending Conrad to prison, apparently. If I were him, I think I’d have been a little more curious about why my semi-estranged daughter had been lurking under my GF’s hospital bed dressed like a ninja. I would also have had a stronger reaction to my GF confessing she let me believe my daughter was dead and then set me up to murder her. 

But then, we are talking about the same guy who likes to determine if someone is betraying him by just asking them point blank and then believing whatever they say. I’m really beginning to understand how he ended up becoming a patsy 20 years ago.

David is the worst

3. On a related note: is David the complete worst, or what? Why is he showing zero curiosity about so many things? Why doesn’t he want to know how Emily swapped identities with Fauxmanda, or what her life like after he was arrested, or when she acquired effing ninja skills?

But I guess asking questions like that would take valuable time away from dodging explanations of where he’s been all this time or giving patronizing orders about taking over the revenge business. “But… you’re laughably incompetent and I have a proven track record of success?” Emily’s face clearly said in response.

Not that Emily is driving me any less nuts at the moment. Hey, instead of “chipping away” at Victoria’s hold on your father by dropping vague hints and then storming off in a huff, how about sitting down with him and laying out the entire sordid story, start to finish? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING TO EACH OTHER? This is so dumb and frustrating.

Nolan facepalm

4. Speaking of which, not only has my poor baby Nolan still not received the groveling apology he so richly deserves, but he’s now completely embroiled in the crazy Louise story. His plaintive, “Can’t I just have a normal friend?” was hilarious, I’ll grant you. But no more crazy person B-plots for Nolan, PLEASE.

5. My annoyance levels whenever Nosy Officer Ben is on screen are starting to reach epic levels. Like… why? What purpose is he serving other than making me want to smack him?

Obviously, his determination to keep digging into Emily and Conrad is going to eff things up in some way, but could we just get to that point, already? He manages to be both boring and obnoxious at the same time, and that’s a really deadly combo.

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