Five Things About Revenge: “Intel”

1. Good news from the fashion front! Not only did David finally lose the Grizzly Adams beard, but Nolan wore this shirt, which kind of looks like some sort of Southwest sand sculpture and is therefore amazing:

David apologizes

He also finally got the apology he deserves. Sort of. I mean, I would have preferred more groveling and less immediately demanding a favor, but at least David acknowledged that he was wrong and should have trusted Nolan more. Which gave Nolan the opportunity to make another declaration of his eternal loyalty to Ems, and you know I am always SUPER INTO THAT.

2. It should probably go without saying that Daniel and Emily’s new drunken truth-telling hateship continues to be the best thing that has happened on this show in years. Honestly, I still want it, but I don’t even need the hatesex if they can just keep having one encounter per episode where neither lets the other get away with any of their regular bullshit.

Daniel and Ems

Having said that, of course, Daniel will probably be the one to die next episode, because who else is really expendable to the plot anymore in the main cast? Especially now that Margaux’s got a little Grayson bun in the oven. DON’T YOU DO IT, WRITERS. DON’T YOU RUIN THIS FOR ME.

3. Jack’s new FBI girlfriend is totally evil! You know, it’s kind of amazing how many vast, international conspiracies appear to operate with impunity in the Revenge ‘verse. I am a little unclear on why an arms dealer with enough power to have ninja minions at his beck and call and an FBI agent murdering suspects in custody on his behalf would have ever needed David Clarke at all.

David Clarke shaved

Like, seriously — there has to be an easier way to get a good accountant than faking his death to break him out of prison and then holding him captive while keeping constant surveillance on his daughter for 10 years.

4. Victoria’s master plan continues to elude me. How does she seriously see any of this playing out? She has to know that Emily is going to blow her lies wide open at some point, and the odds of David not finding out she was the one who set arms dealer guy on Ems are also incredibly slim. It feels like she’s just flailing wildly, and it lacks the polished Machiavellian flare I’ve come to expect. Shape up, Queen V!

Emily and Ben

5. Dear Creepy Officer Ben: the jury is still out on whether you are evil or merely stupid, but pro tip from a lady? Showing up unannounced and drunk after midnight to ask out a woman you barely know who has already blown you off on several occasions is less romantic than you appear to believe. In fact, it is the kind of not romantic that a regular lady who does not have a secret torture room in her basement might find cause to call the cops… except she can’t because you are one, which just makes it DOUBLY CREEPY.

So, you know. Don’t do that anymore.

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