Happy New Year, everyone! This is not the year in review post, because it’s not done yet. I’m the worst. Sorry. But hey, at least we know who FauxLuke is! (Probably? Unless the last two days have been another elaborate red herring?)
But no, for real: it’s totally Bill Eckert. And I’m not fully on board, because despite Bobbie’s big smear campaign yesterday, I don’t remember him being a murderous, child-abusing womanizer? But I’m also not opposed, because this is looking like it’s going to be a completely bonkers history lesson with rogue Spencers popping up out of the woodwork, and you all know I love that crap.
Also, let’s be real. I would accept just about anything to get some movement on this story at this point.
(Also, also: it’s worth it for the look of comical shock on Luke’s face as he — after spending literally months locked up with nothing else to think about — considered for apparently the first time the possibility that a man who looks just like him might be the one guy he knows who… looks exactly like him.)
MUST BE GOOD DRUGS IN MISCAVIGE
I mean, I know Bill’s been “dead” and all, but come on, Luke. You’ve killed Stavros Cassadine how many times now? Someone being “dead” should never rule them out as a suspect in this town.
In other news, Johnny’s out of prison, and he promptly ran into every woman he’s ever dated. As you do.
JOHNNY: Connie and I, we had a complex relationship. And I admit I was not always a gentleman to her. But quite frankly, when she wasn’t herself, she wasn’t always a lady.
OLIVIA: [slowly, as if speaking to a toddler] Well, she was mentally ill. And I know that she put you through the ringer, but you could have stepped up and gotten her help at any time. And if you had, things might have turned out much differently.
JOHNNY: You’re right.
“Not always a gentleman to her” is such an interesting euphemism for repeatedly having sex with her while she was unable to give consent, preventing her loved ones from getting treatment for her mental illness, and gas-lighting her into thinking she was responsible for the deaths of a small child! And by “interesting” I mean WOW, I’M STILL REALLY MAD AT JOHNNY.
AND YET I STILL HAVE JOLIVIA FEELS.
Speaking of handsome mobsters I once loved and now want to hit with a brick: oh, Julian. For a brief moment when he walked into Anna’s office, I stupidly assumed he was finally, finally, FINALLY going to make a deal with the cops, turn on the boss who is trying to kill him for the umpteenth time this year, and go into witness protection to save himself and win back Alexis.
But no. Of course not. Why do that when you send yourself to prison for a murder you didn’t commit? No one ever gets killed in prison!
Sometimes I think this show doesn’t give me the things I want just to torment me.