Everything is stupid and I hate it.

You know when you know something is going to be bad, and then it happens, and it is so much worse? And all you can do is sit there and annoy your neighbors by making incoherent angry Pterodactyl noises at the screen? Watching Friday’s episode was kind of like that.

Morgan constipated face

MORGAN: Why don’t we all get real for a second and just admit that Michael’s not coming because he’s too busy nursing his little grudges to come say thank you to dad for saving everyone on that boat, including him.

Ah, yes. That Michael, so petty. Always nursing stupid grudges over silly little things like THE COLD BLOODED MURDER OF HIS FATHER.

But I can see why Morgan would have trouble empathizing. I mean, that time he spent several months so furious with Sonny that he actually conspired with a rival mob family to get him killed, it was a grudge over a really serious offense, like giving his brother a job.

Dante is annoying

At least Morgan being terrible is pretty par for the course. But I don’t expect this kind of bullshit from Dante. I mean, this is pretty much literally the conversation they had. And it made me want to punch things:

DANTE: Don’t you think you should save him for being the biggest hero this town has ever seen?
MICHAEL: Well, he still kind of murdered my father, so… no.
DANTE: Hey, I get it. Remember that time he tried to murder me, too? But seriously, if you don’t thank him, you’re going to burn in hell for all eternity.

But nothing on the rage-ometer can possibly top this:

Ivy

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ASSHOLE

(I can’t wait to see Governor Contrivance’s reelection campaign: “Vote for the man who let the biggest mobster on the Eastern seaboard out of prison!”)

Can we just stop and break down this amazing act of “heroism” for second? Starting with Sonny and the others breaking out of prison rather than just calling any one of a dozen people who who would have listened to a warning about Fluke — Carly, Lucas, Dante, Shawn, anyone? — and ending with Sonny showing up just in time to get in the way of Michael being the real hero.

Sonny gets away with it3

(To use a sports metaphor, it’s like if one player ran all the way down the field with the ball. And then two feet from the end zone, some other guy — who’d been banned from the game for, oh, let’s say murdering another player — grabs it and makes the touchdown. And he gets all the credit for winning the game. And also doesn’t have to go to prison for being a mob kingpin. I don’t know, I’m not verygood with sports.)

Also, let’s be real here. That bomb barely left a scratch on Sonny even though he was holding it two seconds before it went off. So were anyone’s lives really in danger? If it actually had gone off inside the boat, they’d have been lucky if it even dented the bar. Fun fact: even my mother, who called only because she wanted me to explain the Luke plot, and who is fond of telling me “it’s just a show, lighten up” whenever I complain about anything, opined that the Sonny stuff was — and I quote — “kind of lame.”

Julian Alexis hospital1

Julian Alexis hospital2

But lest this entire post be a bummer, look at how adorable Alexis and Julian are, staring at each other like goobers. And she totally saved him! Sort of! Even though Fluke could just have easily killed them both!

Look, I’m trying to end on an up note here. Just go with it. (Adorable!)

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19 thoughts on “Everything is stupid and I hate it.

  1. Watching Morgan was like watching Carly, Jason, and Sonny distilled into one person. Reminded me of all those times they were at their most smug and self righteous. Please, Please do not let them have Jason completely go back to that.
    I still do not see any romantic chemistry between LW & SB. Though I do think they play friends well.
    I liked Ned’s scene with Alexis too. Just go do what you have to do & we will talk it through tomorrow. No shame on you or anger, refreshing.
    Also, looks like Michael will not forgive so easy. So, that’s a relief.

  2. Also, looks like Michael will not forgive so easy. So, that’s a relief.

    yes it is…..sonny,,,,needs to do some major begging, and if he’s not willing, then Michael shouldn’t have to say he’s sorry either…..

    fair is fair…..you did kill his father……didn’t you, whether or not you saved the towns people…….is just idiotic, we all knew that st sonny wouldnt’ stay in jail…..it was either this or aj is really alive, that would get him off the hook..

    so I’d like to say to dante and morgan…..no, he has to come to me, this time, and all that

    susan

  3. I don’t think Ned will follow up his words with actions. Me thinks he’s going to spy on her, see something he doesn’t like and wait until the right time to drop it on her. Loved the Julian and Alexis scenes, the highlight of an over the top week. Liked how he thanked her for coming and how happy he was despite everything that she cared about him.

    • I have to disagree on the Michael/Dante convo. I don’t think Dante was asking Michael to lay down on the altar of Sonny at all. I think Dante is the one person who has always been honest with Micheal and he’s always tried to do the right thing. He didn’t ask him to forgive Sonny, he understood why he didn’t want to see him, he simply said the decent thing was to say “thank you” for risking his life to save his. Dante just wants his family to heal. You know that’s not going to happen now that Sonny is free. Michael will go dark and be out for vengeance.

  4. Whenever I see Julian anymore, I just can’t help but see him as Penelope Pitstop and Fluke as The Hooded Claw. Of course The Anthill Mob could be just about any of the supporting characters…

    • I know right that man is the worst mobster ever and I included sonny in that cause before julian he was the dumbest one–I was crossing my fingers he would stay in the harbor.

      Personally I think Dante is a hypocrite & Michael is entitled to his feelings. As for Morgan he is not the brightest bulb.

  5. I think you exaggerated Dante’s sentiments just a wee bit ;) but I still laughed. And that scene was still annoying.

    This storyline is not-so-eerily reminiscent, speaking of Dante, of the time Sonny got scratched from a bullet when Ronnie aimed at Dante and everyone was like omfg you saved Dante’s life! Magically makes all the bullshit you pulled okay!

    It’s not impossible to redeem Sonny. They just take the laziest way every time. It’s insane.

  6. In order to redeem Sonny, he has to LOSE it all and not get back his business, baby Momma’s, children, money, etc… for at least a few years, and then maybe learn from all of his mistakes and ill gotten fortune by saving a long term character and not some chick that showed up for four episodes and her idiotic father!

  7. It got even worse with Olivia trying to get Michael to forgive and forget by bringing up how she felt thinking that A.J. killed Connie and got off scot-free. Nice parallel but I wanted Michael to counter with how would she have felt if Dante had died that time Sonny shot him when he was unarmed? Would she have been so forgiving then? I’m glad that Michael is still angry. This is a kid who spent a year in a coma because of Sonny. Whose mother almost married a reformed serial killer. I think he has a right to be angry.

  8. Morgan’s behavior continues to prove me right in thinking that he was only ever tolerable with Ava. He really is an idiot. I’m not shocked, considering his parentage, but still. I enjoyed his truth-telling and shaming his parents in the past, but a teeny, tiny crumb of love they throw his way and he exposes himself for the dim bulb he really is. I’m furious with him for making me defend Kiki, and that I’ll not have.

    Yeah, I’m done with all the preaching to Michael that he should get over what Sonny did, b/c Sonny ran up and snatched the bomb out of his hands and jumped in the water at the last minute. Um…they’re acting like Michael wasn’t the true hero here. He did, after all, grab the bomb and ran to get it away from EVERYONE ELSE without thinking twice about it, while Lucas just stood there on the phone saying, “There’s a bomb behind the bar? On the left? I don’t understand…,” which was unintentional hilarity in itself.

    And why does Michael need to thank Sonny? Didn’t he help revive him? I would imagine that would make them even, on that front. Every time someone demanded Michael go thank Sonny, I wanted him to counter that after Sonny saved him, he saved Sonny.

    Now, had Michael actually jumped in the water and Sonny helped resuscitate him, then maybe I can see Michael uttering his thanks, while still being angry about A.J.

    Dante doesn’t shock me, sadly. He did seem to have a complete turnaround after Sonny took that bullet graze in the shoulder for him, so naturally, that erases the attempted murder.

    And yeah…I could have done without Olivia’s sage counseling. It doesn’t matter that she thought A.J. was Connie’s killer (which btw Ava deserves an award for putting her out to pasture, but whatevs) for months. It matters that A.J. didn’t do it, Olivia. These instances are not the same. Stop telling him to stop being mad.

    Okay, I’m done now, b/c I’ve sent myself into a giggling fit at this pedestrian attempt to make Sonny the town hero. Pedestrian. Queen Helena would be proud.

    Don’t worry, Michael. You’re the real MVP!

  9. That was the best (even of it is the only) soap-sport metaphor I’ve ever read. Maurice What’s-his-name is good at lonely and brooding so they should really let him be lonely and brooding til he goes kinda crazy and then comes out giving all his mob money to charity and disavowing organized crime forever. THEN he can start to have a relationship with Michael. It could work. Sidenote…Olivia is hot. Why can’t she have a real love interest instead of being everyone’s rebound/2nd choice? Hook her up with Michael even! They can bond over how Sonny is a tar pit and give Dante something to react to other than his wife’s whining and/or being kidnapped.

  10. “Rage” is a good word for how I felt when I watched Snarly throw the “you called him Dad” thing in Michael’s face, when Dante told Michael to thank Sonny (I hate it that Dante is now accepting of Sonny, after the guy shot him at point-blank range and in cold blood), when Olivia gave her dumb speech about AJ and Connie (not really the same at all), and then the doofus governor pardoning Sonny and calling him an “alleged” mobster and an asset to the community.

    I am so sick of the writers and this “mobster with a heart of gold” trope of theirs. The Sonny character is a narcissistic sociopath, who never takes responsibility for what he does (the “aw shucks” reaction to his pardon was completely unbelievable), never realizes that the danger his family is in is due to HIS occupation as a mobster, blames everyone else for things he does, is completely insensitive (“Sorry you lost your mother, Kiki, I’ll just be taking your sister now”), and hurts and/or manipulates women because he can’t stand being without a female – any female – for 2 seconds.

    Also sick to death of the fans who excuse everything he does because:

    1. Sonny has dimples
    2. AJ was an alcoholic and a terrible father (let’s forget the “meathook incident”, shall we?)
    3. This or that character did this or that bad thing, so that somehow makes anything Sonny does ok (what does one have to do with the other? nothing!)
    4. Deep-down, Sonny is a good man
    5. Sonny is strong, not weak like the other characters (this not only annoys me, but frightens me to some extent when I realize some fans believe this about real-life gangsters)

    Sick sick sick of it.

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