And Carly’s capacity for self-delusion is definitely one of them. There were so many jaw-droppingly CRAZY words coming out of her mouth during her confrontation with Michael, that I don’t think I can capture them all without transcribing the entire scene.
But let’s just start with this, which is an actual expression that her face actually made in response to Michael accurately pointing out Sonny’s failure to ever keep anyone safe:
That is no beginner’s outrage right there. That is a level of disingenuous disbelief that only a true master of willful hypocrisy could ever attain. “How dare you use true facts to win this fight!” that expression says. “HOW DARE YOU, SIR.”
Most of the argument boiled down to Michael pointing out ways in which Sonny has failed each and every one of his children and Carly countering with gems like: “Sonny is a good father!” and “Sonny loved you with your whole heart!” and “Yes, but why can’t you just believe he won’t suck this time?”
But my personal favorite was this exchange:
CARLY: The best of who he is is wrapped up in him being a father. Sonny’s loyalty and kindness and generosity and love… it’s all tied up in giving his kids the life he never had. Please don’t take that away from Avery.
MICHAEL: You want me to risk her life so that Sonny can feel better about himself?
MICHAEL: Okay, but that is literally what you just said, so…
Oh, sorry, that last line was actually me, shouting at the television screen. MY BAD.
Anyway, it should go without saying that Michael’s beautiful hatred continues to give my life, and even though I strongly suspect Avery isn’t actually Sonny’s child at all, I wish him all the best in his quest to make his terrible parents as miserable as possible. Hate on, good buddy. Hate like the wind!
Elsewhere, Ned is obviously about to pretend he’s the father of Olivia’s baby, which could be interesting by forcing Alexis to be on the other side of the same decision she made with Sonny, but will most likely just be annoying and tedious.
But on the upside, Alexis and Julian are back at the “hotly making handcuff jokes” phase of their relationship. Which is clearly my happy place.
I will never understand why the writers work so hard to make Julian unlikeable when William deVry is so effortlessly charming whenever they’re not bogging him down with garbage plotting or enraging dialog.
I mean, just look at this suave bastard. Look at him!
The doctor prescribed at least four hours
of shirtlessness a day.
I should not be shaking my fist at his pretty face at least once a month, you know? I want to like Julian, writers! Stop making it so hard!