Father of the Year, ladies and gentlemen!

Science has proven that soap law is always terrible and enraging. This is an undisputed fact. But even from the darkest bowels of hell, something beautiful can sometimes emerge. And in this case, that thing was the look on both Carly and Sonny’s faces when Alexis dared to bring up that fun time he shot her in the head while she was giving birth.

Carly's face

SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME.

Other gems include: Judge Plot Point finally justifying his existence after a year of contrivance with his magnificent breakdown of all the many conflicts of interest present in this case, Tracy and Michael’s new found camaraderie over hating Sonny, and basically everything that came out of Sonny’s mouth while he was on the stand.

It was such a perfect storm of bullshit, I don’t know if it will ever be topped:

ALEXIS: How can it possibly benefit Avery to live with you when she will clearly be in danger?
SONNY: It’s true, my children have been in danger in the past. And if I could do anything to take that away, I would. If I could take away their pain, I would. But I can’t do that. So, only thing I can swear to you and to the court is I will do better with Avery. She will be safe with me.
ALEXIS: I know that’s what you think–
SONNY: It’s the truth! I will make it the truth!
ALEXIS: Mr. Corinthos, when Michael was shot the day you took him to that warehouse, didn’t you think he was safe with you?
SONNY: We’re here because of what I did to Michael, and not the day he was shot. When I shot AJ, I broke his heart. My beautiful little boy, he was everything that I wasn’t. He was fair, he was compassionate, and he could forgive. I broke that in him. And now he’s got anger in his heart.

Note the sheer audacity of this speech. First he starts by admitting sure, all his kids have been endangered by him in the past. But hey, there’s just nothing he can do about that! Other than, you know, giving them up for their own protection, which is the ENTIRE POINT OF THIS PROCEEDING.

Sonny on trial

ROCKING THE SILVER FOX BEARD, THO

Then he finishes by not only casually referencing a murder he recently committed, but flat out stating that he is neither fair, compassionate, or capable of forgiveness. Father of the year!

(See also, the fact that he’s demanding everyone trust him that things will be different this time, when literally ten minutes before the hearing started, he was out in the hall, promising Julian a mob war, and ten minutes after the verdict, he was asking Morgan to become an accessory to kidnapping.)

Speaking of Julian, I just… I give up, you guys. I have no idea where the writers are going with this character or why they have him do anything they do. It’s like he and a bunch of other characters have selective amnesia.

Julian mob war

Carlos tries to kill him? He tries to kill Carlos? Doesn’t matter! The next day, they’re both ready to work together again. And what happened to wanting to get out of the mob and live a normal life with his family? What happened to all that actual character development that we saw on screen? Now suddenly he’s back with Alexis, Luke is out of the way, and power is the only thing he wants again?

If nothing that happened in the past is going to have any meaning, then it’s impossible to get invested in things that are happening now. You know they’ll just be forgotten too, as soon as it’s convenient.

On a related note:

Evil!Nik

So, I guess I’m kind of evil now? 

Here’s the thing — I am all for Dark!Nik. Like, sign me up. Full steam ahead. I have been ready to watch him get his Cassadine on for years.

But I really, really need there to be a reason for his sudden and completely inexplicable willingness to betray just about everyone he loves for… reasons? I was fine with him stealing the election when it looked like he was trying to make Helena trust him so she’d reveal her big plan. But no. Apparently, that’s not what’s going on at all. Nikolas just woke up one day all evil and desperate to control ELQ, a company that until recently was barely staying afloat.

Does he need the money that badly? Has he acquired an overwhelming craving for relish? Did Britt’s betrayal just break him? Who knows, because they haven’t bothered to float provide even the flimsiest hint of motivation. And it’s sucking a lot of my enjoyment out of what could be an interesting turn for the character.

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12 thoughts on “Father of the Year, ladies and gentlemen!

  1. clearly I think that someone is being dictated to as to who or what the stories are all about….they’re making it again into sopranos….breaking bad..whatever…….is the trend of the day/week…and all that…

    yes, the mob should be finished, and it never should have gone as far as sonny and Michael having custody..(the sonny part)..someone needs to say first and foremost to sonny, we know you’re not going to change, so stop being the hypocrate that you are, and let us get on with our lives…and all that kind of stuff…

    and yes, nick…..tell us the reason why you’re doing what you’re doing….because it’s a ridiculous story…and everything…else…he was the good one, the only good one in that family…well besides alexis..that is….but nope…they had to take him down the stupid dark route….and everything..

    we need new heads of state….so that we can finally put this beyond stupid 25 year old mob story to rest…..

    susan

  2. “If nothing that happened in the past is going to have any meaning, then it’s impossible to get invested in things that are happening now.”

    EXACTLY. So well said.

  3. ITA with everything you said. I hate all this mob stuff especially front and center constantly. Sonny is a moroon and all his stumbling and mumbling makes me mute him. Carly has no interaction with Joss and spends all her time with sonny & his new spawn (though she is cute). I find julian boring and alexis is huge hypocrite.

  4. Not that I wanted ANOTHER child death, but I really thought they would kill Spencer in order to facilitate super dark Nik. For me, that would actually make sense. Nik was all wavering about telling the truth during the party, then Spencer said something about him being honorable or whatever, then BAM dead child and Nik cares for nothing and NO ONE! But Spencer seems like he will be fine? And Sam came to stand by Nik and he is still not telling her the truth about Jason? Cassadines for all their crazy at least have motives for their diabolical plans. Give Nik a motive, ANY motive.

    Speaking of Jason, I seriously hate this whole undercover informant garbage. And Carly already knows the truth so good luck with that!

    -Kate

  5. I thought they were gonna use Spencer being in a fire and put him in a coma or something to make Nik forget all his ethics.

    Apparently not

    -uliis

  6. I have to say that I’m loving this whole story line with Michael, Sonny and Carly. It’s like the chickens have come home to roost. Sonny did the one thing that Michael asked him not to do, kill AJ, and now he expects that Michael is just going to forgive him and all will be hunky-dory? I know some people think that Michael is acting like a jerk, but I love the fact that he is taking everything that he learned from Sonny and Carly over the years and turning it on them. Carly’s little speech about Judge Walters, about how Michael was acting just like a Quartermaine, throwing money at a problem, was so hypocritical. Like Sonny hasn’t tried to pervert the course of justice before. Sonny was probably angry that he doesn’t have any judges in his pocket. And seriously why doesn’t he? What kind of mobster doesn’t have cops, judges, what have you on the payroll? Julian, at least, has Scott Baldwin under his thumb. I hope Michael continues to stick it to his awful parents and terrible brother for months to come.

    • I will legitimately cry on the day Michael forgives Sonny and Carly. (Because you know he will.) Expect a very drunk and maudlin recap on that sad, sad day.

  7. I’m not enjoying GH’s return to being the Carson show and when Jason comes back, it’s going to be icky watching those three with cray cray Frina dominate the show.

    The only part I enjoyed during FEB. Sweeps was Michael challenging his oh so holy parents in Sonny and Carly and their complete lack of self awareness that their narcissism has destroyed lives including those of their family.

    In contrast I really enjoyed Julexis in February sweeps and they were the MVPS in my opinion. I find Julian far from boring when he’s not propping Sonny’s role as heroic mobster on the show and Alexis might be a hypocrite on a show full of them but she’s the only self aware one. I really really enjoyed their reunion and their conversation about rearing children from birth versus missed opportunities both had when reuniting with adult children. The differentiation between Lucas having a stable family live versus Sam having a tough life and how that shapes their growing relationships with their father. Julian and Alexis haven’t had many sit down conversations about families but they’ve been golden, i.e. their convo about Lucas being gay. Best thing on the show as far as I’m concerned.

    I loved Alexis comforting NIkolas any reminder that she’s a Cassadine too.

    I’m Team Michael. If Michael prostrates himself in front of the Carson altar I’ll probably be done. A decade of worshipping evil narcissists like Carly and Sonny and Super hero mob enforcer Jason sent most viewers fleeing for other shows.

  8. Sonny is a horrible father. It’s good to see writing acknowledge the complete bungling of his parental role with alllll his children. I missed some episodes so I haven’t seen dark Nick. But I could be on board bc he does a pretty half arsed good guy.

  9. I like how they are writing Sonny as a crappy father. I don’t know why are Sonny and Carly are mad at Michael for what he is doing because he learned it from them.

  10. Actually I was wishing Kiki (Starr) would have ended her time on GH by running away and taking the baby with her. Maybe going back to LLanview.

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