Science has proven that soap law is always terrible and enraging. This is an undisputed fact. But even from the darkest bowels of hell, something beautiful can sometimes emerge. And in this case, that thing was the look on both Carly and Sonny’s faces when Alexis dared to bring up that fun time he shot her in the head while she was giving birth.
SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME.
Other gems include: Judge Plot Point finally justifying his existence after a year of contrivance with his magnificent breakdown of all the many conflicts of interest present in this case, Tracy and Michael’s new found camaraderie over hating Sonny, and basically everything that came out of Sonny’s mouth while he was on the stand.
It was such a perfect storm of bullshit, I don’t know if it will ever be topped:
ALEXIS: How can it possibly benefit Avery to live with you when she will clearly be in danger?
SONNY: It’s true, my children have been in danger in the past. And if I could do anything to take that away, I would. If I could take away their pain, I would. But I can’t do that. So, only thing I can swear to you and to the court is I will do better with Avery. She will be safe with me.
ALEXIS: I know that’s what you think–
SONNY: It’s the truth! I will make it the truth!
ALEXIS: Mr. Corinthos, when Michael was shot the day you took him to that warehouse, didn’t you think he was safe with you?
SONNY: We’re here because of what I did to Michael, and not the day he was shot. When I shot AJ, I broke his heart. My beautiful little boy, he was everything that I wasn’t. He was fair, he was compassionate, and he could forgive. I broke that in him. And now he’s got anger in his heart.
Note the sheer audacity of this speech. First he starts by admitting sure, all his kids have been endangered by him in the past. But hey, there’s just nothing he can do about that! Other than, you know, giving them up for their own protection, which is the ENTIRE POINT OF THIS PROCEEDING.
ROCKING THE SILVER FOX BEARD, THO
Then he finishes by not only casually referencing a murder he recently committed, but flat out stating that he is neither fair, compassionate, or capable of forgiveness. Father of the year!
(See also, the fact that he’s demanding everyone trust him that things will be different this time, when literally ten minutes before the hearing started, he was out in the hall, promising Julian a mob war, and ten minutes after the verdict, he was asking Morgan to become an accessory to kidnapping.)
Speaking of Julian, I just… I give up, you guys. I have no idea where the writers are going with this character or why they have him do anything they do. It’s like he and a bunch of other characters have selective amnesia.
Carlos tries to kill him? He tries to kill Carlos? Doesn’t matter! The next day, they’re both ready to work together again. And what happened to wanting to get out of the mob and live a normal life with his family? What happened to all that actual character development that we saw on screen? Now suddenly he’s back with Alexis, Luke is out of the way, and power is the only thing he wants again?
If nothing that happened in the past is going to have any meaning, then it’s impossible to get invested in things that are happening now. You know they’ll just be forgotten too, as soon as it’s convenient.
On a related note:
So, I guess I’m kind of evil now?
Here’s the thing — I am all for Dark!Nik. Like, sign me up. Full steam ahead. I have been ready to watch him get his Cassadine on for years.
But I really, really need there to be a reason for his sudden and completely inexplicable willingness to betray just about everyone he loves for… reasons? I was fine with him stealing the election when it looked like he was trying to make Helena trust him so she’d reveal her big plan. But no. Apparently, that’s not what’s going on at all. Nikolas just woke up one day all evil and desperate to control ELQ, a company that until recently was barely staying afloat.
Does he need the money that badly? Has he acquired an overwhelming craving for relish? Did Britt’s betrayal just break him? Who knows, because they haven’t bothered to float provide even the flimsiest hint of motivation. And it’s sucking a lot of my enjoyment out of what could be an interesting turn for the character.