You can’t make this crap up.

This a game I like to call “actual things Port Charles citizens have said this week.” See if you can spot the dialog that isn’t real!

Morgan's duh face

MORGAN: Do you think what’s best for Avery is to be raised by Sabrina, the woman who tried to kill her?
KIKI: Of course I don’t! She should obviously be raised by the man who tried to kill her mother!

JAKE: We aren’t going to talk about my undercover activities where Jerome or Carlos or anyone else may hear us. I’m still going to make loud calls to the police commissioner where anyone can overhear, though. Let’s not get crazy.

Liz forgives Ric

ELIZABETH: Don’t make me regret this. I know I say that every time we get back together and every time, you instantly make me regret it. But seriously. Don’t make me regret it this time.
RIC: Elizabeth, I promise I will never lie to you again. After this lie. That I’m telling you right now.

AVA: Boy, it sure is taking me a long time to die.
SILAS: I know, right? Can we speed this up at all? I’m boring myself here.

Hahaha! Okay, you got me. I don’t actually watch Ava/Silas scenes.

In other news, Nikolas continues to betray practically everyone he’s ever loved for absolutely no reason. But hey, at least now we know who the worst poker player in Port Charles is! Luckily he’s found possibly the only person in town whose actions make less sense than his.

Nikolas and Hayden

“It’s funny because we have no motivation!”

Tune in tomorrow for more exciting adventures from “Franco & Nina: Smug Psychopaths Smugly Smug at Everything” and “Morgan Corinthos, World’s Worst Human–can he go any lower? Probably!”

(Ugh, I don’t even know, you guys. Wake me when it’s sweeps?)

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12 thoughts on “You can’t make this crap up.

  1. I love how everyone in Port Charles watching this news program Franco and Nina were watching are more interested in Michael getting drunk than the other story about STRANGE GLOWING ROCKS on spoon island. WHAT WAS THAT?

    • Oh, I know — the whole episode, I was like BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STRANGE GLOWING ROCKS ON SPOON ISLAND. Is Alfred going to show up with mutant powers? Has Casey the alien returned? So many unanswered questions!

  2. I know there are a lot of Michael haters out there, especially right now. But I’m a ride or die Michael fan, and even if I wasn’t I couldn’t excuse dodo and dumdums blatant carlessness before and after ALMOST GETTING 4+ PEOPLE INCLUDING 2 BABIES SERIOUSLY INJURED OR KILLED. There are so many ways that situation could’ve more gone wrong,it makes my head spin.

    Particularly, since the one that definintly could been hurt or killed is the one they are supposedly trying to save. From who the BIG BADS Michael and Sabrina, the only two people out of the those 4 who actually care about her well being, and byextension happiness.

    I swear Ron Carlavati and Crew are possibly unwittingly trying to give us a crash course in irony.

    OK ridiculous over the top Rant over with, but I won’t be satisfied with this deer in the headlights of all storylines unless someone makes the dumdum and the dodo bird Hyposhrieky hoochichie bleed and or pay.

    • It’s sometimes hard for me to tell which side the narrative is on, but I actually feel like we’re supposed to think Morgan and Kiki’s plan was irresponsible and stupid? They had Kiki questioning it several times, Sonny was yelling about the kind of monster who would film something like that, etc. I think we are supposed to be rooting for Sonny and Michael to make amends (LOL, NO), but we’re not supposed to be cheering for Morgan.

      • we’re definitely not supposed to be cheering Morgan. He called Jason a robot yesterday, that’s how you know he’s gone off the deep end, heh.

        ( Did you see all the hubbub regarding Bryan Craig earlier this week? He had a “private” chat with fans online and he said he was tired of the writing. Kid’s going down, lol.)

      • That’s the problem, I’ve heard the writers don’t want us to root for anyone. This is a storyline where there is an innocent baby involved and I can’t drop my real world morals and blur lines when it comes to a baby. There needs to be a clear hero.

        Because, as Michael said Averys completely vulnerable and has no defenses. Not even Michael was handed around that much at that age.

        Like Avery he may not have been clear on who his mother was, but he basically had a One home.

        Since Morki thought Michael was the devil incarnate, beccause he didn’t want to be their friend no more they had her removed. It’s literally a choice of who has the least delusional, warped morals.

        And I would say Julian, but considering he was ok with Kikis potential infantcide I just can’t.

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