Every day this week, I’ve finished watching General Hospital and racked my brain for something interesting to say about it.
“Dear readers, Franco and Nina had relationship problems today and OH MY GOD WHO CARES,” the imaginary post in my head begins. “Also, Spinelli and Maxie got back together and I kind of wanted to die?” it continues. “Oh, look. Fluke is still a thing that is happening.” And that’s about as far as I can get before depressing myself so badly that I have to go drink some wine and think about my life choices.
But anyway, yesterday this happened and it was mildly satisfying:
KIKI: Michael was right about everything. He’s the one who loved Avery enough to protect her and we were the ones who put her at risk.
I realize the fact that she said that means the odds of Michael actually turning out to be the kidnapper just rose exponentially, but I’m going to ignore that for a moment to bask in the schadenfreude. YES, KIKI. FEEL BAD. YOUR CHOICES ARE AS AWFUL AS YOUR HAIR.
It makes me sad that I have to be this invested in anything Kiki does, because she remains one of the most terribly conceived and executed characters I’ve ever seen, and the fact that she is still sucking up air time in a bloated cast of people I care about so much more is an utter travesty.
It also makes me sad that as horrible as Kiki is, she’s still coming out of this looking better than Morgan — who I also hate, but who is at least someone with actual ties to the canvas that matter. Then again, although I wish I could say they were writing him out of character right now, his personality has been set to PETULANT TURD ever since he was SORASed. So, hurray for consistency, I guess?
I know I’ve used this cap before, but it’s
still the reigning champ of DUH faces.
(Hey, remember that time Morgan made Michael’s rape all about him? Or that time he let Kiki believe her father was a serial killer so he could trick her into marrying him? Or that time he signed up with a rival mob family because his father gave his brother a job? Or that time he walked away while Michael was drowning? Good times.)
But every now and then I remember the only biological product of Sonny and Carly’s combined gene pools is a loud-mouthed emotional toddler with a hair trigger temper and a persecution complex a mile wide who casually endangers other people and then acts indignant if he’s called out about it. And then I kind of want to buy all the writers a drink? So it’s confusing.