The answer to this and so many other pressing questions — is this show ever going to stop trying to make Kiki happen? Will Maura West lose that godawful wig before I go insane? Are Anna and Jordan going to make out any time soon? — is sadly, tragically: no.

The latter is extra tragic, because how super adorable was Anna and Jordan’s reunion on Friday? SO SUPER ADORABLE.

Jordan and Anna2

Jordan and Anna1

I refuse to believe that all that business with Jordan pushing Anna to get serious with Sloane was anything but a cover for how much she wants to date Anna instead. JE REFUSE.

I don’t know why the powers that be think that All Sonny All the Time will cure this show’s many, many problems when all I want in the world is for awesome lady detectives to go out and detect stuff and also make out every now and then. It’s a true mystery.

Speaking of Sonny, the hilarity of someone proclaiming that he “will never let anything happen” to someone he cares about juxtaposed with that person immediately getting kidnapped will never get old. Except for how it got old twenty years ago and how does anyone say those lines with a straight face? ALSO, I CANNOT BELIEVE MICHAEL GAVE THAT BABY BACK TO THIS DOUCHE.

Sonny saves the day

Outstanding role model for children!

But I don’t want to make it seem like it’s all bad. I mean, 99.9% of the show is still either boring or terrible. (Or both! So much both!) But on the plus side, I’m pretty sure Julian almost went down on Alexis on camera the other day? So… that’s something?

And also we got this scene:

Carly and Valerie

I know it’s just set up for everything blowing up in her face when the truth about her and Dante comes out, but it’s still really nice to see Valerie actually interacting with other members of her family. You know, the people she supposedly stayed in town to get to know better?

Especially because everything else about her introduction has been so botched. Nothing about Valerie’s insta-attraction with Dante has been believable, and her isolation on the canvas didn’t help me care about her. (What was the point of moving her into Wyndemere when she barely interacted with Nikolas while she was there?) Instead of spending months moping around making moony eyes at Dante, she should have been helping Carly plan her wedding, talking Lucas through his relationship woes, spending time with Bobbie, actually bonding with Lulu to make her eventual betrayal actually mean something.

Valerie and Lulu hug

The worst part is there have been so many missed opportunities for soapy exposition about wacky Spencer family history. Carly casually explaining that she’s marrying a mob kingpin for the fifth time! Bobbie reminiscing about Carly coming to town to steal her husband or that time Luke saved the world from Nikolas’ grandfather! Maxie getting introduced not as Lulu’s psycho BFF, but as the recipient of BJ’s heart. I live for that stuff and we got none of it!

Anyway, Valerie’s obviously pregnant and that’s obviously going to be awful. But in the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy the belated Spencer family bonding they’re finally letting her have. One more month until the new writers fix everything, right? RIGHT?


18 thoughts on “OH NO, WILL SONNY DIE?!

  1. I can’t care about anything or anyone on TFGH. I’m so mobbed-out I just can’t. If I thought there was the slightest chance that Sonny would die, I might be able to muster up a teensy bit of interest but it’s all lather rinse repeat.
    There is no one to root for, although I do enjoy Julian’s moves when it comes to sexing up Alexis. I can’t help it, Julian is a hunk of burning love #SorryNotSorry :D

    There are not enough words to describe how much I don’t care about Valerie. And it’s a shame, because there could have been so many things to do with her if the writers had a brain, but to throw her into the destruction of Dante and Lulu? Just no.
    And now I suppose we’ll have to watch Valerie pregnant because apparently every one night stand in Port Charles results in a pregnancy.

    All I want is MWOP back, actually, I want double MWOP back, Michael and Morgan Without Pity would be a beautiful thing, it might make me actually forgive Morgan for a multitude of sins.

  2. we would never ever be so lucky as to get rid of sonny and luke in a 3 month period- I haven’t watched a full episode in two wks. I start out but my fifteen minute limit usually causes me to change the channel. Anyone that would marry the same man 5 times deserves whatever falls on their head. I hate all mob stories that’s why I like nujason–no mob but then there is sam-so guess it isn’t all good.
    Morgan is just distressing this whole bipolar thing is so poorly done glad to be missing this also.
    who didn’t expect a pregnancy

    GH really is on the skids as far as i can see.

    • i agree, and someone said that the ratings were down because he wasn’t on all the time…i so disagree with that….

      the ratings were down, because the stories lasted too long, and they were so disjointed that it wasn’t funny..

      i will be home today and probably every day from now on, and i don’t even want to watch sonny’s hospital..


  3. Yeah I’m tired of all Sonny all the time and his proclamations that he won’t let anything happened to his loved ones and the next second they’re either getting kidnapped or he’s shooting them himself. I was so hoping that instead of the obligatory mustache twirling mobbie shooting heroic father figure Sonny, someone like Avery would pick up a gun lying around the house and shoot him instead. Or a suddenly mercurial Morgan would pull the trigger. A reversal of him shooting his kids or his favorite moll.

    Julian’s a red herring this time around being out of the mob but he’ll get slapped around by every hypocritical member of Sonny’s village. I hope Alexis stands by him because she’s right to trust him in my opinion and she’ll get to be the one who’s right about something for a change and how many times has that happened? Has Sonny ever been written by anyone as being wrong about something? If that happened, it’d be downright historic for GH. But no, Julian’s got to be everyone’s whipping post for a while because how dare anyone touch a hair on Sonny’s head. You almost forgot he killed another mobbie kingpin several weeks ago (and curiously enough that goes uninvestigated of course) and used to force underaged girls to strip at his clubs, back in the day when his mob business was on the table and not a coy joke. Julian got a kilo of coke dropped in front of him but Sonny’s illicit business still remains an unsolved mystery let it sully the heroic trope the show’s turned him into.

    Cops, i don’t care about. Too much conflict of interest. Dante not arresting his father for waving a gun after Connie turned up dead and Nathan arresting his own mother last week. And the PCPD is always propping up Sonny, who’s a defacto informant to them while only trying to bring down Sonny’s enemies. I wish the rumors had been true that Scorpio was coming back to be commish.

    I really enjoyed Julexis’ cameo appearance. Not just the making out but the conversation they had before and after about Ava, Kristina and Molly. Since I doubt most of their appearances this summer were actually planned beforehand because their story had been stalled, I’ve enjoyed seeing them on my screen even if the dialogue is repetitive. Everything on this show is right now. Last week, at least started the transitional stage towards changing over to the new writers.

    Ugh on another ONS pregnancy story. The show got such a dismal response to the last one I would have thought they’d come up with better angst for a long-time (and the show’s one married duo) pairing like Lante. And since they have to rush to have Val “bond” with her family it doesn’t come off as anything but contrived.

  4. My immediate response when I heard that Sonny was going to be shot yet again was ‘Who cares? This man has been shot so many times, I’m surprised that the bullets don’t just pass through the holes that already exist. And of course the fact that TJ was kidnapped almost died will have no effect on his hero worship of Sonny. TJ will adore Sonny even more for leaving his wedding to save him. And the whole Sam and Jakeson confronting Nikolas about Sloane without any backup evidence just Sloane’s word (who turned out to be just as much of a jerk as he was the last time the 1st actor played him). How does Sam even have a PI license? The one break on the case they’ve gotten in months came from Anna. Why hasn’t Sam tried to found out Rosalie and Brad’s secret so that she can twist Rosalie’s arm into having her help get ELQ back? And yes, I too want Anna and Jordan to make out!

    • I hadn’t even thought of that, but of course Sam should be looking into Rosalie’s secret — which would then put her into conflict with Lucas because the secret apparently also could harm Brad. So there’s good potential drama there to be mined. But, no. Of course they’re ignoring it, just like they ignore Lucas and Brad for months at a time.

    • This man has been shot so many times, I’m surprised that the bullets don’t just pass through the holes that already exist.

      someone on another group that I belong to said, he should be like a sprinkler when he drinks water…lol


      yes, what was the point of that big bomb shell if they’re going to do absolutely nothing about it again…..

      and as much as I don’t like sam, why isn’t she looking into it…and all that kind of idea……

  5. is there any chance the new writers can fix this atrocious Liz lie? I don’t care if Casey the alien has to return to explain this bat shit behavior, I hope they fix it…
    here’s a list of options:
    Helen chipped Nikolas and Elizabeth
    Jake remembers he is Jason and keeps it to himself.
    Okay those are the only two options…

  6. I like the idea of Jakeson knows he is Jason ,and he is so ashamed he won’t admit it even to himself. But he screwed that up by running in and killing three guys, without a gun.and yuck saving Sonny. I can’t , I deleted the dvr and I am done..They couldn’t fix this show if they tried. Guza is back, no matter what they are calling him now. I have always hated Sonny, shut the show off for years. FrankenRon did a few good things, changed back to mobs Inc.so am not watching .I see Mykill is also back. no thanks.

    • They couldn’t fix this show if they tried. Guza is back, no matter what they are calling him now. I have always hated Sonny, shut the show off for years. FrankenRon did a few good things, changed back to mobs Inc.so am not watching .I see Mykill is also back. no thanks

      sadly I have to agree with that comment…

      yes, to me rc’s writing was great, he used all the cast, and not just saint sonny’s family….that was the best part….but I guess that they didnt’ like that……


    • Sonny, Carly, Jason, Sam and Michael is what almost killed the show back in 2011.

      I know and why they’re centreing on them again is beyond me

      doesn’t make me want to watch


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