1. Bonnie and Enzo make out in the future. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE. My sweet Bon Bon’s future lips have been besmirched by that smarmy dickhead. This is honestly one of the most upsetting things that has ever happened on this show.
They also get a snarky meet cute in the present to try to justify this heresy, even though they’ve barely spoken two words to each other before now. Truly, this is the darkest timeline.
Oh, and also Bonnie is in a mental institution and apparently made a mistake that cost her someone she loves. Since we’ve now checked in with most of the main cast in the future, that leaves… Jeremy? Maybe?
2. Damon/Valerie/Stefan road trip! Not as fun as a Bonnie/Damon/Alaric road trip, that’s for sure. But Stefan found out the truth about why Valerie never came back for him, and in typical fashion for this show, somehow that cancels out the fact that she’s a vindictive, murderous asshole who was torturing Caroline two days ago.
Also Stefan would have been just thrilled to be a teenage father with a girl her knew for a single day. Of course he would have.
4. Meanwhile, Bonnie and Damon continue to have more chemistry in their brief scene at the end than anyone else on the show. BAD DECISION DRINKING BUDDIES FOREVER.
(Look, I understand that Damon/Elena was the driving force of most of this show, but she is gone now. That’s just reality. Refusing to move Damon into any story other than mooning over her memory is wasting what is probably this show’s last season on the same old boring crap when they have a real opportunity to do something new and interesting.)
5. The McGuffin is a repository for evil vampire souls! Which means that Jo and Oscar are not actually Jo and Oscar. Only Jo doesn’t seem that evil… yet. But I’m still holding out for her to be the big bad chasing everyone in the future.
6. Julian’s been resurrected! I have to say, it’s really hard to buy him as a convincing threat so far. I mean, beating a pregnant girl into a miscarriage is evil and all, but doesn’t really require superpowers. This show has been so overrun with escalating threats that a normal evil vampire seems almost… boring. Kill him quick or make him fun, show. That’s all I ask.