Guys, I am on vacation someplace warm and wonderful where there’s rum and a nice man who brings me frozen coconuts. But my secret soap sources (i.e. fellow sad sacks who’ve been stockholmed into watching this show until we die) inform me that yesterday, there were boobs in open court? (#boobsforfeminism)
And also that Michael Easton made his — triumphant? I guess? — return in his — fourth? fifth? Are we counting alternate personalities separately? — character. And that character is yet another doctor. And that doctor enjoys stroking his lizard. And that lizard stroking is somehow not a euphemism, but an actual thing that happened on this television show that we are all for some reason still watching.
Obviously, I love myself way too much to watch General Hospital while I’m trying to relax and not hate life. But please weigh in on the ridiculousness of this event, as I am dying to hear your opinions.