Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day One

It’s Nurses’ Ball time! We open on Robin — real Robin, not a dumb hallucination this time. She’s on the phone with Patrick, who is away at a conference and therefore missing the Nurses’ Ball… which is apparently being broadcast not just on Port Charles local access this year, but NATIONWIDE on a major network? Hey, that’s more than you can say for the Daytime Emmys!

Bobbie on the red carpet

They tune into the red carpet where our regular host, Donnie Sheldon, has been joined by Nina and real life news personality, Abbie Boudreau. Donnie is excited to see “luminaries” like Bobbie and Lucas arrive. Does this mean that the national audience is supposed to know who Bobbie Spencer is? Amazing.

Bobbie tells the camera that this Nurses’ Ball has an extra special meaning for her, and Jackie Zeman gives the creepiest, way too sexual line reading for a woman currently arm in arm with her own son. But I do like her blue dress.

Next up: Epiphany, who also looks pretty fabulous, and is flying solo, as Milo couldn’t be there. Abbie Boudreau wonders why that name is familiar. The fame of Milo and the Magic Wands has spread far and wide! Donnie assures her that it is very tasteful.

Pip on the red carpet

Anna on the red carpet

Anna comes in and Finola Hughes is so beautiful, it kind of hurts? Nina awkwardly announces she’s the EX-police commissioner and also keeps pronouncing her name wrong. For some reason, we don’t cut back to Robin and Emma’s reaction to watching Anna get grilled about being a criminal. Possibly because this show has an aversion to drama.

Over at the hospital, Maxie is all dolled up and runs into Griffin. Apparently nosy nurse Amy 2.0 has been gossiping about Griffin’s secret priesthood. Maxie thinks it’s a joke, but Griffin sets her straight.

Scotty, looking like a well dressed hobo, is getting ready to leave with Ava, fabulously vampy in red. Kiki walks in and wonders why he’s still living with Ava. So does Ava. SO DO WE ALL. What what was the point of that plot? I don’t think the writers even know.

Franco catches Elizabeth

Backstage, Amy 2.0 is on the phone instead of getting ready. Lucy yells at her just as Liz comes around the corner and runs into her… only to be caught by Franco. Instead of just steadying Liz, he full on PICKS HER ENTIRE BODY UP in a FREAKING BRIDAL CARRY. Even if I wasn’t throwing up in my mouth right, now, this would still be one of the most ridiculously contrived things I’ve ever seen.

Carly’s in the lobby doing some tasteful product placement for Aveeno when Obrecht walks in. My daring Liesl is wearing a very flattering maroon number and promises not to hijack the opening number this time.

Felix and Brad enter and get mistaken by Nina for a couple, but are quick to point out they’re both happily involved with other people. Donnie and Felix flirt pretty adorably on camera. Did we know he was Felix’s Canadian boyfriend before this? I can’t remember. But in any case: on-screen boyfriend for Felix! Yay! Abbie Boudreau nods her shiny head like she, too, is into it.

Donnie flirts

Felix flirts

In come Andre and Jordan, who is beautiful in lavender, although I’m not sure how I feel about that gemstone collar? (I am sure. I don’t like it.) Nina makes a weirdly threatening comment about Jordan needing to up her game in order to keep boring Andre. Whatever, Nina.

Backstage, Franco is STILL holding Liz. When he finally puts her down, she finds her ankle’s been twisted and tells Lucy she can’t perform. Lucy sends her out to the red carpet instead, with Franco as a human crutch. Because everyone involved with this show hates me and wants to see me suffer.

Apparently, Hayden did manage to sell that teacup for enough money to buy a lot of purple sequins. She and Nikolas get waylaid by Nina, who immediately announces Hayden’s real identity. Even though Nikolas was just threatening her to show up and act like the perfect, classy wife, he’s throwing shade at Hayden like crazy here. Which makes as much sense as anything he’s done lately, I guess.

Hayden and Nikolas on the red carpet

Lucas is feeling nervous and tells Bobbie that he and Brad spent the last night apart because he wanted them not to see each other before the wedding. Brad is telling Felix the same, but that he doesn’t believe in bad luck superstitions. Nothing can go wrong now! Of course he turns the corner and runs right into Bobbie and Lucas.

Lucy is out in the lobby in her bathrobe, double checking the gift bags. Carly admonishes her to go get dressed, and then gets a text from Ava warning she’ll be picking Avery up the next day. Ava, meanwhile, is getting the whole story of the break up with Morgan from Kiki. She tries valiantly not to dance a jig of joy.

Griffin explains that he’s currently on a leave of absence from the church, but he is still technically a priest. Maxie’s brought a tux for Nathan to wear to the ball, but Griffin can’t discharge him yet. Maxie’s horrified by the idea of walking the red carpet alone, but she has a solution: Griffin (who is clearly on duty, btw) can take her instead! He protests, but relents after receiving a mystery text. Sorry, Griffin’s patients! Guess you’re on your own tonight.

Jealous Jordan

Andre finds Anna at the bar. She awkwardly thanks him for saving her life. They’re interrupted by jealous Jordan, who continues to be in denial over the fact that she CLEARLY has way more sexual chemistry with Anna than she does with Andre.

Lucy finally makes her way out to the red carpet (also in purple sequins and a bottom ruffle I don’t love) and gives a plug for AIDS research, aka the actual reason the Ball exists.

Ava, Scotty, and Kiki arrive, to Dillon’s obvious pleasure and Carly’s dismay. Nina informs the audience that Kiki is fully recovered from being shot during a recent illegal arms deal. And then this amazing intro for Ava:

NINA: And now arriving is noted homewrecker, Ava Jerome, along with her sleazy lawyer.
AVA: Oh, good God, who gave her a microphone?
ABBIE BOUDREAU: You look lovely, Ms. Jerome. Is this your first Nurses’ Ball?
AVA: Yes, yes it is. Thank you, Abbie.
NINA: Yes, because last year, we all thought that you were dead.

LOL, my friends. Lucy drags Ava over for a super awkward photo with Carly, who clearly has something up her sleeve to prevent Ava from collecting Avery tomorrow.

Anna reunited with Robin and Emma

At the bar, Anna watches Andre and Jordan kiss and walks away, upset. Is she also in denial about the true target of her jealousy? Uncertain. As she stands in the empty ballroom, feeling sad about Duke, Emma and Robin make a surprise entrance from behind the curtain! Psyche! They weren’t in California, after all!

Maxie and Griffin arrive. I LOVE MAXIE’S DRESS A LOT. Winner of the night, by far. Nina makes an embarrassing scene about how Maxie is her brother’s fiance and shouldn’t be out with another man. Maxie explains that Griffin is Nathan’s doctor. I’m amazed she doesn’t also blurt out his priest secret, since everyone seems so interested.

Maxie's floral dress

Curtis and Valerie on the red carpet

Curtis and Valerie are next. I HATE VALERIE’S DRESS AS MUCH AS I LOVE MAXIE’S. The pink, the lace, the unflattering high necked cut. It reminds me of last year’s sugary pink themed overload. No bueno. Nina proceeds to sexually harass Curtis on camera. I mean, I understand the impulse, girl, but seriously. Calm down.

Emma tells Anna that no one else knows she and Robin are there except Griffin. So that was the mystery text he received. Robin still can’t believe Duke had a son. And right on time, he’s there!

Liz hobbles her way down the carpet with Franco’s help, and oops! She’s wearing the same dress as Hayden. Which Nina is quick to point out in a jealous snit. No offense to Rebecca Budig, but Rebecca Herbst definitely wears it better. Maxie swoops in to promise she’ll be able to find another dress for her backstage, because of course she can.

Maxie rescues Liz

In the bar, Lucy runs into Scotty and Ava. It’s as awkward as you might imagine. Ava realizes she forgot her checkbook and heads back to the penthouse to get it. Only Carly’s already there, having let herself in with a spare key she stole from Morgan. Because I’m so sure Ava wouldn’t have changed those locks by now.  Carly’s looking for the recording of Ava’s confession that she killed Connie. And she seems to find it hidden in a cocktail shaker.

Um, unless I fell into a coma at some point and missed it (which is entirely possible), Paul still has that recording and refused to give it to Ava. But even if he HAD given it to her, why on earth would she be hiding it in barware rather than destroying it immediately? So this is either a red herring or complete nonsense on every level.

Anyway, Ava nearly catches her, but at the last minute realizes she had the checkbook in her purse all along.

Carly cackles

Back at the ball, Robin hugs Maxie and admires her engagement ring as Emma interrogates Griffin about the priest thing. I realize people don’t meet secret priests every day, but everyone seems weirdly hostile about it? Like, is it THAT strange that someone might not want to get married for whatever reason?

It turns out Bobbie and Felix engineered this run in between Brad and Lucas. They all share a champagne toast after a sweet speech from Bobbie welcoming Brad to the family and sharing how happy she is. (FORESHADOWING.)

Elizabeth reappears with a new dress and a new hairstyle, because SURE. I guess Maxie also had a perfectly fitted strapless bra in Crimson’s closet? I love that color magenta on Liz and also the fluffy floral skirt, but it’s hard to enjoy anything when Franco is in the frame and not getting punched.

Elizabeth's second dress

They immediately run into Sam and Jason, who drops the bomb that he’s starting to get his memories back and then lectures Liz about hanging out with Franco in a really condescending way. I mean, I agree, obviously, but still: that was kind of gross. Also, I am not loving his hair. What are you doing, Billy Miller? JUST SAY NO TO GREASE.

Robin comes over and she and Jason have a nice moment as he tells her that he remembers her and their history with the Nurses’ Ball. Also, I like that the show remembered Emma and Sam’s relationship, even if their reunion is off screen.

Jason remembers Robin2

Jason remembers Robin

Nikolas accuses Jason of “starting a war” between them by… following legal tax procedures for the transfer of stock. Okay, sure. That definitely seems like a worse provocation than conspiring to keep Jason from his family for an entire year. Jason says he wants peace for Emily’s sake. In the background, Robin watches in confusion as Nikolas makes more of an ass of himself. I hope she yells at him before she leaves town.

Backstage, Lucy gives herself a pep talk about keeping her clothes on and then momentarily panics that she’d had the microphone on the whole time. Hah!

She gives her welcome introduction, and then: the opening number! After a fake out that we were going to be subjected to Molly and TJ’s insipid song for the millionth time, the music cuts to… I don’t even know how to describe it, but it involves a lot of chanting and also a rap about Steve and Audrey, the monkey virus, and a weirdly upbeat reference to Tania Jones’s death. So that happened.

NB 2016 opening rap

Lucy starts shilling for donations and publicly thanks Nikolas for his large one. Backstage, Obrecht is preparing to crash the stage for a Sound of Music review (complete with hand puppets!) when a group of male nurses masked in balaclavas appears and carry her off. I’m kind of sad we won’t get the puppets.

Carly looks at the contents of the USB drive she stole from Ava and makes a shocked face. If it’s just a sex tape Ava made with Morgan, I WILL LAUGH AND LAUGH.

Backstage, Bobbie waves the next performers on and then suddenly collapses. Oh no, the rapping was too much for her!

Bobbie collapses

Tomorrow: Magic Milo! Traumatized children on stage! Bobbie maybe dying!


22 thoughts on “Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day One

  1. I was here for Obrecht, I’m devo they’ve opted not to have her crash this year.

    I also hope its a Morgan/Ava sex tape, just for the lols.

  2. I also hope its a Morgan/Ava sex tape, just for the lols.

    me too

    and i’m so miffed at what they had nina do, all those digs at the people when they come on……that was so not right at all


  3. I thought maybe, just maybe, Nina’s hosting style was a not so subtle dig at the horrible red carpet social media chicks from last year.

    So cute that you think Felix gets a for realz onscreen boyfriend. That would mean Felix would have to be, you know, on screen.

  4. I’m not getting this custody drama. Ava has sole custody, with Sonny receiving visitation only at Ava’s discretion. Unless I’m missing something, Sonny and Carly can’t legally keep Avery and Ava should’ve been able to get her a long time ago. That’s not how this works. Avery was with Sonny for an extended visit, not to stay permanently. I guess this dispels Carly’s diatribe from that day she begged Ava about letting Sonny have a visit with Avery about how she and Sonny were so great, that if they had custody, they would include Ava in Avery’s life b/c it’s what best for her. They wouldn’t be petty like Ava. LOL! Forever a gigantic hypocrite.

    And I’m a week behind, but Paul didn’t give Ava that flash drive with her confession. She practically begged him for it and he shot her down. And if he had, she certainly wouldn’t have held on to it. Morgan also wouldn’t still have access to her home. This is nuts.

    Franco is simply not appealing to me, so I completely get and agree with the dislike. That said, Jason is such a douche. I’ve had enough of this superiority kick he’s been on and I await his fall from his high horse.

    I’m still a week behind, but I’ve made a vow to finally catch up, which I started to do while getting ready for work this morning. I also may have made the same vow last night, but in my defense, when my brain told me it was time to watch GH, I immediately fell asleep. Couldn’t be helped. *shrugs*

    • Yeah, I can’t tell if we’re supposed to be rooting for Carly and Sonny in this custody mess, but if so: no. I am definitely not. It is ludicrous, and I can’t believe Ava hasn’t gotten CPS involved yet. Whatever Carly ends up doing today will probably enrage me.

  5. Franco and Elizabeth, and Nina’s antics on the red carpet were the best parts for me. Also, loved seeing Robin as always. Could’ve done without the Liason run in, and Jason being an ass yet again but that’s seems to be his mode these days. For the most part I enjoyed Day 1 of the Nurse’s Ball! Hope you’re able to posts tons this week – because while I disagreed with a lot of what you said, I still loved reading your commentary. :)

    • Wow, thanks! That’s actually a great compliment considering how rabidly soap fanbases tend to fight. ;) I’m hoping to do a post for every day of the NB, but I’ve got something tomorrow night that might delay that one a bit. We’ll see how much sleep I think I need!

  6. It’s not like Franco is just a bad guy or some rival mobster – if he was, I’d agree that Jasus should STFU and mind his own business. But, Franco was specifically obsessed with Jason and he has repeatedly targeted members of Jason’s family – that he would now be this creepily invested in Jason’s son should be more than enough for Elizabeth take out a restraining order

    • I don’t think he should mind his own business — Jake is clearly his business, and Franco shouldn’t be anywhere near him. I just think he should express his opinions to Elizabeth privately, and with less douchiness.

      If I was someone who cared about Liz, I would want to sit her down and figure out what’s going on with her, because cozying up to Franco feels like a mental break. But even if he no longer cares about her at all, high handedly ordering her is not a good way to get her to do what he wants.

  7. The only time I could tolerate Franco was his relationship with Nina, and only then because the woman had been in a coma for 20 years, and is emotionally stunted. Putting him and Liz together makes about as much sense as his relationship with Carly did. I can’t stand Amy 2.0 who is rude and condescending as well as being a gossip. The great thing about original recipe Amy is that she had family ties, she was Laura’s adopted sister, and Leslie loved her as much as Laura. This nurse came out of nowhere and I want to smack her silly. Since she seems to like Franco so much (whatever), perhaps she can hook up with him.

  8. I haven’t watched in so long, I thought Valerie was pregnant?
    Curious, what kind of chemistry do RH & RH have?

  9. I’m not happy you’re suffering, but I’m so relieved you don’t like Franco/Liz. I’ve seen a lot of fans say they don’t like the history but they’re willing to overlook it because Liz is on screen and they have chemistry. I kind of get that view but I’m just so not a “whatever it takes to get my fave on screen” person. I prefer backburnerdom to some material.

    • Yes, I agree. I’d rather Liz have a solid but small back burner story than they destroy her character.
      It could even be turned to a positive in regards to a romance as I like a slow burn. I used to watch AMC. Very front burner and the writers messed it up, but A Kendall & Zack. I liked watching them fall for each other, and how much he fell for her. I’d love that for Liz. Love it.

  10. FIZ FOR THE WIN!!! Let Jason have the Guttersnipe-tripper. Who cares? Regarding Franco, a tumor made him do it!!!!

  11. The tumor has argument has been purposely vague, even Franco makes less than subtle comments about it as a defense being a lie. And still threatened to kill people after. It’s that pesky little multiple murderer/inadvertent rapist/leading someone to think they’ve been raped/holding people hostage/baby kidnapping/stalking/attempted matricide/ and worst of all being originally portrayed by someone I want to slap the smirk off of their face aspects of the character that just make said character not viable and irredeemable for me. It’s a shame, because I do love the actor.

    The only guttersnipe I can think of is whoever came up with that opening number. It seemed like a bad acid trip after bad sushi.

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