Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day Two

It’s the second day of the Nurses’ Ball, y’all. But first things first: IT REALLY WAS A SEX TAPE! I totally called it! Sadly, a sex tape full of gross bondage games with Paul instead of the Morgan one I was hoping would burn Carly’s eyes out. But still. SEX TAPE!

Anyway, let’s see what other gifts Aveeno has brought us today…

Magic Milo 2016

Sounds about right.

So, let’s talk about the Notably Missing from this year’s festivities, starting with: the actual Chief of Staff. Like, seriously, show? You just went through all the trouble of making Monica somewhat relevant again for the first time in years, and you can’t even spring to have her show up in a cameo at her own hospital’s premiere event? Ditto for Tracy, although at least she has the excuse of recovering from brain worms and getting overly emotionally invested in Sabrina’s baby.

(On a related note, can I just say how #blessed I feel that the ball has been thus far 100% Sabrina free?) (And yes, I realize I just jinxed it. Damn it.)

Others the budget apparently didn’t allow for include: Mac and Felicia — who I guess just decided they’d rather Netflix and chill than support their family’s number one charity this year? — Ric and Olivia, which is no big loss, or any of the David girls other than Sam. (But not to worry, the previews suggest we’re getting a full house of Corinthos boys tomorrow! Just in case you were getting worried this show might not entirely revolve around Sonny for three days in a row.)

Emma and Ned

Robin watches Emma perform

Anyway, Ned did his duty as one of the very few Quartermaines actually in attendance in an Elton John duet with Emma that went on for roughly a million years. But it also brought us the most affecting moment of the episode, i.e. that split second shot of Robin tearing up as she held her mother’s hand and watched her daughter on stage.

Call me a sap, but after being either “dead” or kidnapped for the last three Nurses’ Balls, Robin getting to attend this year and be safe and happy and with her loved ones gave me some serious feels. As did watching her watch the child she didn’t think she’d live to have back when she did her big faint on stage in the 90s. It would have been nice if we’d maybe spent more than a brief moment on that, but why waste time on legacy characters when there’s The Franco Show to get on with?

Franco and Jake on stage

Are we supposed to know who the guitar player is?

I think what really bugs me about this plot — beyond the whole “Serial Killer with a Heart of Gold” wrongness of even trying to whitewash Franco’s history — is that it has changed the focus of the story from being about Elizabeth and Jason building a relationship with their child and working to figure out what happened to him, and made it all about proving what a Good Guy Franco is instead. I mean, Jake was literally missing long enough for police to be involved the other day, and Jason didn’t even get a phone call about it! But Franco was sure there for the search and rescue.

So of course Jake’s shitty parents just sat there and watched while their traumatized child sat frozen like a deer in headlights in front of the whole town. Of course Jake’s shitty parents thought it was a good idea to subject him to that at all in the first place! Because only Franco is wise enough to see it might be a problem, and only Franco could fix it. And I am one thousand percent not here for Elizabeth Webber getting sidelined in her own story by another terrible relationship that is all about the dude and requires her to act like she’s had a lobotomy.

Laura and Kevin

In less enraging news, Kevin and Laura were also there! And that’s basically the extent of their scenes in this episode! But it was still nice to see them both, I guess?

This year, the Magic Milo contact embarrassment dance review starred Curtis, Felix, Dillon, and Griffin. Which puts us in the interesting position of having to believe Port Charles not only exists in a world where landlocked Bolivia has freezing coastal waters and a woman can spend half a year not noticing she’s making out with a man in a latex mask, but also that a Catholic priest would agree to publicly strip to benefit an AIDS charity and then sit through a gay wedding. I mean, freezing the world is one thing, but this one really strained my suspension of disbelief.

Magic Milo 2016-2

Magic Milo 2016-3

(Also, what was up with Curtis whipping out a pair of nun-chucks in the middle of the strip tease? Did they literally just ask all the actors what their special skill was and that was his?)

Special fashion shout outs in this episode go to: Lucy’s black beaded dress and Lulu’s magenta and black number:

Lucy's black beaded dress

Lulu at the Nurses Ball

Sadly, Lulu’s only purpose in this episode was a five second scene that made it crystal clear these writers have no idea what to do with her and Dante now that they’re happy again. Which is sad.

And finally — the GH Angel of Death struck again, and got Lucas instead of Bobbie! I’ll be absolutely furious if he actually dies. But assuming he survives, this is the most plot he or Brad will have gotten since last year’s Nurses’ Ball. Which… is also sad.

Lucas attacked

Brad stood up

Also, was anyone else half expecting at least a one-sided phone call from Britt before the wedding? I mean, Felix as Brad’s best man is fine and all, but we all know who his one and only true BFF is, and there is no way she wouldn’t at least be lurking somewhere in a trench coat, getting drunk in his honor during the show.

Man, I really miss Britt.

Tomorrow: Dillon and Kiki perform! Too many Corinthii! Lucas might be dying! (Crap, all of that actually sounds terrible.)


11 thoughts on “Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day Two

  1. Dante’s panicked eyes at being asked to do the dance were hilarious though, even if they have no idea what to do with Lante (hey, here’s an idea writers: have her reluctant to take him back and him wooing her back slowly? No? Rush them back like nothing ever happened and pretend it was all Lulu’s fault? Ok).

    Gentle Folk Singer Franco was so sweet. And by sweet, I mean punching my tv.

    I wonder how the hell Chad Duell and Ryan Paevey got out of that.

    Shut up, Ava and Carly.

  2. You continue to nail my feelings on this Franco mess. It enrages me that Jake’s own parents are made to look like idiots just so Franco can swoop in and save the day. Suddenly little Jake cannot survive in the world without the all-knowing and amazing Franco. Nevermind that we saw how attached Jake was to his father from the moment he came back (when neither knew they were father/son) or the fact that we saw Jason doting on all 3 boys and being there for them. Suddenly that bond is gone and Jason looks like a douchebag so Franco can be the perfect fatherly figure. The one story I wanted to see for Elizabeth and Jake is now all about Franco. Yipee.

  3. I don’t hate Franco as much as you all–but to me the problem is how they suddenly decided Jason was all about Sam and didn’t care about Liz or his kid. Jason is a douche, with support from Sam & Carly.

    At this point Liz shows the same consideration to Jason as he shows to her (pointedly said he’s only telling the important people his memories were returning, making it obvious she wasn’t important). To me the show decided to invest in Jason & Sam (as badly as it’s written & acted) and was willing to let Becky take Liz off screen. When her job was saved–they quickly had to rush in and pair her with someone. They’re so bad at their jobs, they picked the one character most people hate (though not the actor).

    In my eye the problem isn’t Franco, or Liz. The problem starts with Varni & flows through Frank and the writers. Unless people are fired–this is the GH we’re going to get. And it sucks.

  4. I wish that they hadn’t recast the role of Jake. The young actor who originated the role was perfect, he looked like he’d been traumatized and turned into one of the Children of the Corn that Josslyn loves so much. This whole story line should be about finding out what Helena did to mess with their son. Jake should also still be clingy with Elizabeth and Jason, he hadn’t seen them in five years. It should be bone of contention in his relationship with Sam, that he has to spend so much time with Jake reassuring him that he’s not going to disappear. The only reason I can see for Jake to be clinging to Franco is because he feels that Jason has abandoned him for Sam and Danny. Not that the writers have actually written that. Nor did they ever tell us what the deal was with Rosalie and Brad and why they were finally able to get a divorce. As if the viewers are just going to forget that little plot detail. And yes, I agree that it would have been hilarious for Britt to sneak back for the Nurse’s Ball after Brad somehow managed to reveal to her that he and Lucas were going to be married.

  5. [Quote](On a related note, can I just say how #blessed I feel that the ball has been thus far 100% Sabrina free?) (And yes, I realize I just jinxed it. Damn it.)[End Quote]
    Just like the sex tape you certainly called it. Jinxed it indeed LOL. Speaking of the sex tape, I loved that Ava totally called Carly on her blackmail. I’m not an Ava fan but that was such an Ava thing to do.

    I really liked Emma and Ned and seeing the audience reaction, especially Robin and Anna’s.

  6. I’m not anti-Franco per se… mainly because this one can be quite funny when he wants to be/is in the right situation? I don’t know. I don’t mind him with Obrecht (non romantically) and I quite enjoyed him with Nina, but there’s way, way, WAY too much history for him to be with Liz. Its just too much of a stretch, even for a soap.

  7. I skipped NB bc Alexis and Podd Julian weren’t there. They meant to go because Alexis went to get a manicure and must still be there waiting for her nails to dry.

  8. I thought the same thing about the nun chuck incident. Can any of you guys do a thing? Nun chucks? Okay, weird, but do it. Half hearted brake dance spin? Sure. Just push-ups? Whatever. It was inadvertently the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

  9. Dante and Lulu should not be put back together. Dante and Lulu should be getting ready to date other people. Why have a gala if half the cast won’t be there. Franco and Liz are gaining a following.

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