Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day Three

Oof. They can never quite manage to stick the landing, can they? I mean, that was still more enjoyable than the show’s been lately, but that is a really low bar. And the last day of the ball was once again the worst by far.

At least Robin got to make a speech that managed to be both meaningful and informative, and also break my brain a little by pointing out it’s been 21 years since Stone died. Good lord, I’m old.

Robin's speech

Performance-wise, I don’t care how over it Lulu and Valerie both are now — you can’t tell me it’s not super awkward to have Val doing backup while Lulu sings to Dante about wanting him back. But hey, those rehearsals must have been fun!

As a side note, I really wish they’d branch out a little from bad pop song covers. The OG Nurses’ Balls had all sorts of other stuff — comedy routines, dramatic play scenes, Casey at the bat! Dear Frank: next year, if this show is still miraculously on the air, save some money on professional back up dancers and just let your actors act.

NB dance number

Kiki and Dillon

Anyway, I love myself too much to listen to much of Dillon and Kiki’s number, but I even on fast forward, Dillon has never looked more punchable. Actually, I don’t know if any man has ever looked as punchable as he did in that hat/shirt combo? It was impressive.

And I don’t even know where to start with Kiki’s outfit. I was even going to say something nice about her blue dress! But then those tassels happened, and I remembered that she is the worst at everything, always. I know this pairing inexplicably has fans, but about the nicest thing I can say about them is: better than Morgan, I guess? But, like… “better than Morgan” covers such a wide swath of potential boyfriends. An actual trash heap would be a better boyfriend than Morgan. Or at least less likely to repeatedly bang your mom.

I feel like I’m getting sidetracked, but the point is: I still don’t care about Kiki.

Brad worries for Lucas

In other news, Lucas is alive! Which would be great news for his many worried family members… if any of them other than Bobbie and Brad even knew he’d ever been in danger. But why have Sam, Julian, Carly, and the extended Spencer clan have to put aside their difference and come together in support for one of their own? What is this, a soap opera?

Especially when they were clearly needed for much more important scenes:

Carly hawks Aveeno

Have you heard about moisturizer?

Don’t even get me started on the contrivance that Amy 2.0 — whose sole personality trait is being obsessed with gossip — doesn’t remember Lucas saying he’s taking Bobbie to the hospital. Because, please.

Speaking of Amy, I know a lot of people aren’t really feeling her. Which is totally fair, since she’s terrible. But despite her one-note obnoxiousness, I was willing to reserve judgment and give her a chance to become more of a real person — I mean, we need more hospital staff, and remember how awful Britt and Brad were when they first showed up? But then she summoned Sabrina like the Kraken, so now I hate her forever.

(Apparently singing that godawful song is like saying Candyman three times in front of a mirror: except instead of just mercifully murdering you with her hook hand, you have to listen to Sabrina sing the chorus over and over again while everyone lines up to hug her like she’s the second coming and not… an ex-coworker who tried to kill a baby and then ran off with a mob hitman.)

Sabrina returns

Felix and Pip see Sabrina

Look, it’s that the nurse we fired for gross incompetence!

God save us all from the inevitable eruption of outrage over her arrest for aiding an abetting a fugitive, which is another crime that she 100% committed.

Maybe she and Jason can be cellmates when he’s also inevitably arrested for this?

Hurt Nikolas

OH NO NIKOLAS IS DEAD. I mean, if only, right? But no, I’m sure he’s fine, even if Tyler Christopher is temporarily vacating the role. Although it would be kind of great if that fall gave him amnesia and the whole town just agreed to lie to him about who he was for a year.

So that’s that: everyone was better dressed this year, but boy, were all the opportunities for actual drama and emotion squandered, aka business as usual.

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11 thoughts on “Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day Three

  1. Anyway, I love myself too much to listen to much of Dillon and Kiki’s number, but I even on fast forward, Dillon has never looked more punchable. Actually, I don’t know if any man has ever looked as punchable as he did in that hat/shirt combo? It was impressive.

    And I don’t even know where to start with Kiki’s outfit. I was even going to say something nice about her blue dress! But then those tassels happened, and I remembered that she is the worst at everything, always. I know this pairing inexplicably has fans, but about the nicest thing I can say about them is: better than Morgan, I guess? But, like… “better than Morgan” covers such a wide swath of potential boyfriends. An actual trash heap would be a better boyfriend than Morgan. Or at least less likely to repeatedly bang your mom.

    don’t agree with her on that part at all

    i thought that they both had/have great voices…..alot better then some who are touted to have oh so fabulous ones……and have actually gotten albums, from it…….but, that’s me

    so please dillon, and kiki, sing more, you were great, and you make a great couple…

    and um guess what, don’t know where a certain person’s fashion sense is, but tassels are everywhere these days……..and i autally like hers, it’s not tacky like i see so many of that type are….

    susan

  2. Tassles may be everywhere, but so are Kardashians and racisim; doesn’t make me like them any better.

    As for the NB, I appreciate that they’re still trying to incorporate big events that bring the cast together with reveals and multiple stories. But I think the ball lost something along the way with the performaces being autotuned to death and being more professional. I liked it more as a talent show with people that appeared to be amateurs. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think Mr. Marbles is more in the spirit of things than what we saw this time.

    I’m still holding out hope for both Lucas, and Lucy’s underwear. Because I’m an optimist.

    • In fairness, I also thought the dress under the tassels was ugly as sin.

      And I totally forgot to mention that Lucy didn’t show her underwear! I mean, on the one hand, maybe Lynn Herring just doesn’t want to do it anymore, which is fair. But I was still a little sad.

  3. I hated Robin’s dress. Why do they keep putting her in that style?

    How would we know how anyone actually sounded-so much auto-tuning.

  4. You should have listened to the #Killon number, it was actually pretty good. And I’m liking them as a couple. Unfortunately they will soon insert Morgan into it, so that will be over.

    I think the biggest missed opportunity was Robin’s speech. Don’t get me wrong, It was great that she was able to give one. But everyone who was there for the original storyline, save for Lucy, was out of the room. Why not have her talk when Jason & Sonny were there. And why of all years was Mac not at the ball? Mac was Robin’s rock during the original diagnosis. Bobbie was part of the original diagnosis team too. It was just disappointing that anyone who could have shown a real reaction was gone by the time she spoke. Instead they spun them off to set up their big next storylines and assist Carly in promoting face cream.

    When will GH understand that the emotional beats of the story, even if it’s just reaction shots of the people involved, are what makes soaps great? That continuity of characters who we’ve lived with for years, is why we watch soaps. Why we care when people do things that are completely out of character. It is just maddening.

    • Trust me, I listened to enough to know I didn’t need to listen anymore. I’m glad some people are enjoying them, though!

      Yeah, Mac’s absence was just… glaring. All the heart’s been sucked out of this show.

    • I think my favorite parts were the “parents” taking videos of “their kids” performing. Not the actual performances mind you, but the humanness of those moments.

  5. I’ll say these two things and be done, since I haven’t watched the third epi yet to see how I really feel about the whole thing (lol, that seems like I’m expecting greatness, but I know the truth):

    – I hate that it’s become tradition, since the resurrection of the ball, that there’s a Magic Milo performance and then that ridiculous song at the end. Please make it stop!

    – I’m grateful that we didn’t get the same awful opening that we’ve had to endure the last few years, but that rapping monstrosity was worse. It was so embarrassing and uncomfortable to watch. How much do you want to bet Becky Herbst made her not having to perform a stipulation of her new contract? If so, GO GIRL! Elizabeth was the real MVP for that last minute injury.

  6. I don’t care about Kiki and Dillon either, but I thought their performance was actually the best one after Emma/Ned. Not telling you you should watch it lol just commenting. Mostly cause I liked the song.

    I’m glad they left Lucy and the underwear out; I only would have liked it if she had done it on purpose – it’s a little much to have her naked accidentally again. I like they did give a shout-out too it though.

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