Scenes from an alternate universe.

So Jax most likely purchased a black market kidney from a non-consenting child and then let Elizabeth, Jason, and Lucky believe it was Jake’s for years. That’s fine. I’m fine. EVERYTHING’S FINE.

To avoid having a rage aneurysm about that — or about the fact that Alexis is a pod person who seems more upset about her career problems than her beloved nephew’s death — let’s just all take some deep breaths and enjoy the brief reunion of one of my favorite soap friendships of all time:

Alexis Jax hug

JAX: I hope you know that you have a ton of people out there who love and support you, who you can lean on. So you shouldn’t be afraid to just do that.
ALEXIS: Okay.
JAX: Okay? I know it’s hard for you to see right now with all this craziness going on, but you’re more than a lawyer. You’re a mother, warrior, friend… so no matter what happens at that hearing next week, you’re still going to be all of those things. And so much more.

Sure, she nearly went to prison, her husband tried to murder her, and she’s lost all professional respect. But Alexis got a pep talk while drinking wine and gazing into Jax’s impossibly blue eyes. So really, is her life really all that bad?

(Yes, yes it is. Her life is a flaming turd bag and there is not enough wine in the world to fix it.)

Alexis Jax hug2

pls ditch your terrible plots and maaaaake out

Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Hayden continue to exist in a fascinating parallel reality where Nikolas was a beleaguered saint who would probably be alive today if only he’d cared more about himself than other people. IF ONLY.

HAYDEN: That man tried to kill me.
ELIZABETH: And he regretted it ever since! He saw something in you, Hayden. What that was, I will never know. But he genuinely wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to you.

Yeah, jeez, Hayden! How petty to still be mad about spending six months in a coma when Nikolas felt kind of bad about it afterwards!

I’m also really curious about the show Elizabeth has been watching, because in the one that aired on my television screen, Nikolas never even apologized for that, much less showed any inclination to make it up to Hayden in any way other than sometimes being willing to angrily bone her every now and then.

Liz and Hayden are delusional

also why… is this blouse…???

But not to worry! Hayden had a come back:

HAYDEN: I think you’re suffering from selective memory loss because this chain doesn’t start with me. It starts with you. If you hadn’t been so desperate to hang onto Jason, Nikolas wouldn’t have cared if I revealed Jake Doe’s true identity.
ELIZABETH: That’s not the only reason Nikolas kept quiet–
HAYDEN: Okay, yes, he had some selfish motives. But mostly he kept the secret about Jason for you. And you were so hysterical that day. You were so upset that I was going to tell Jason the truth. What else was Nikolas going to do? Of course had to shut me up. For your sake.

Yes, what else could he possibly have done!? Not hire a contract killer to murder a woman he was sleeping with? Clearly, his hands were tied. THANKS,  OBAMA.

(It’s good of her to admit that he had “some” selfish motives, though. If by “some” you mean “literally everything he’s done for the past year has been motivated by selfishness.”)

Elizabeth and Hayden

you can tell they’re related because
they use the same hair dye

I realize now that they are Secret Sisters™, the writers are going to keep pumping up the animosity between Liz and Hayden for the foreseeable future. But the fact that both of these women are jumping through hoops to find a way to blame anyone but Nikolas for Nikolas’ choices would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

Dear ladies: please consider the possibility that he really is just a massive sucking douchebag whose greed and inability to accept any consequences for his actions led directly to all his problems.

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28 thoughts on “Scenes from an alternate universe.

  1. ok, i’m not getting something that she said…

    susan

    and she clearly still has it out for hayden

    i’m ok with her now, as long as she’s with finn…

    they so need to get her away from nick when he comes back and for him to just let her go away, or something like that……because keeping them both like this is just stupid…..

  2. I was wondering if they were going down that route with Jax. I’m going to go out on a limb and hope that Jax didn’t know that the kidney he bought on the black market came from an unwilling child. I loved that Jax got to have a scene with Alexis but how about a scene with his two former step-sons that he practically raised all by himself with minimal input from Carly and Sonny? You know to find out how Michael dealt with his adopted father killing his biological father and how Morgan is dealing with being bipolar? Or would that take too much time away from poor Franco being miserable because Elizabeth doesn’t believe in him? Seriously Jax spent more time with Bobbie than he has with Morgan and Michael.

    • that would have been good with micheal and morgan, yes, but keep in mind that they didn’t have ingo for that long……so, they did what they could with him.

      susan

  3. Ok. So Joss is dying of Kidney Cancer. Jax is hysterical; calls his mom to tell her. She mentions it to her Jerry. A few days later, Jerry shows us with a beer cooler and gives it to Jax. Says, “This is for Joss. Don’t ask any questions.” In *this* specific circumstance, I totally believe Jax would go along with it. To save his daughter’s life, I think he’d do it. And see, everyone thinks of Jax as Super Mr Nice Guy, but that’s just ‘cos he stands in opposition to Sonny most of the time. Jax has done some fairly naughty things in his time (going after Lois while she was happily married to Ned, trying to steal ELQ from the Quartermaines, changing Spencer’s paternity test, etc), and to save Joss? Yes, absolutely believe he’d do it. What parent wouldn’t?

    • i’m lost…..um wasn’t jax’s mom dead by the time joss had her cancer……

      or was that his dad…….lol

      yes he has……he was known as a corporate raider when he first came on…and his family was just as much in the mob as was sonny, only they didn’t tell jax until like he was 30 or something, so…

      i hear you Mark…..yes, a parent would do anything to save their child….

    • But if it was all Jerry then why the hell is he bothering to try and cover it up? Just tell Carly the truth. Tell Liz and Lucky the truth! Jerry is literally already a wanted terrorist. There is no value in protecting him and implicating himself instead.

      • i know, if it is jerry then fine…..but, this is just dumb…as all get out…

        once upon a time they were special, i kn ow…but they have been on the air for over 50 years…so….

      • ‘Cos Jerry’s still his brother? And with both parents gone, the only family he has left (apart from Joss) … I can see Jax trying to cover up what happened — not wanting to have to admit to Carly (& Sonny, of course) that he went along with something like that. And I don’t know if Jax’s parents were alive or dead when the Joss thing happened; was just saying that could be how it happened. No, I do not at all think Jax would buy a black-market kidney from a kid … but take one from Jerry without asking where it came from? Yeah, that I can see. That’s all I meant.

        • i agree

          jerry is the only family he has left….besides joss

          but wonder why they didn’t give him any brothers or sisters to his parents, you know that kind of idea

          but lol…then again they forgot that edward q had a brother and everything, celia’s family never came back, nor did tracy’s other brother jimmy lee holt…so there you go

          susan

    • Oh, I totally agree that Jax would accept a mystery kidney from Jerry and that Jerry also makes the most sense as the person who would/could procure one. And we know he has connections to Helena, so it’s not a stretch for them to have collaborated. That scenario doesn’t bother me.

      What bothers me is the implication that Jax would have known about this and: 1) still allowed Jake’s parents to grieve for him/believe it was his kidney, 2) not tried to track down the donor and make sure he or she was taken care of financially, 3) would still be lying about it now, when he knows Carly will just keep digging and there is no value in protecting Jerry, a man who has since poisoned the entire town, kept Robin captive for years, etc.

      So we’ll see how it plays out. But I think it would have been stronger dramatically to have Jerry have done it all without Jax’s knowledge, especially since IR isn’t going to be around long term to deal with the fall out.

      (Also AGREED that Jerry coming back to play Alexis’ twisted knight in shining armor with Julian would be great.)

        • Joss and not Liz’s 2 oldest boys

          for me she’s not sorased…

          she’s what 13

          and so are cam and spencer….they’re in that age range..

          i keep on saying that joss looks older because girls age faster then boys at that age..

          while some boys and i’ve known a few voices have changed by then….and they’ve grown to like 6 feet…alot haven’t…and won’t for quite a few years still..

          so, no, joss hasn’t been aged, she just looks older, because she’s a girl…

          and how do we know that cam hasn’t caught up, when was the last time we even saw him….

          and although jake does look a bit younger then the other kid who played him, i bet that they’re the same age too….

  4. I’ve has it on twice this week, including today. Pretty much just background noise, but the Liz & Sam interactions were nice. I’d totally be down with them being friends.
    I really think there are way too many children and babies on this show. I feel like when a show encompasses generations the baby sl should be thought out and special.
    I remember how good some of the prior summer teen stories could be.
    I love the Alexis/Jan friendship, love, but also faint hope maybe Jax/Liz romance. *shrug*

  5. oh wait….she has another brother…lol…boy edward got around, didn’t he..

    where are all the wards…..that they totally forgot about

  6. I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that Jasper Jax, the man who sent flowers to Liz for quite sometime on the day their baby girl died, would ever be cool with Liz suffering another child’s loss. It makes no sense. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. So I maybe rocking in a corner, sobbing, while this crap plays out. All because Sonny ALWAYS NEEDS TO BE RIGHT. *sob* My Jax would NEVER BE THAT CRUEL to Liz. Procurement of a shady kidney to save Josslyn, sure. But this crap with Jake is just stupid.

    I hate this show.

    • . All because Sonny ALWAYS NEEDS TO BE RIGHT. *sob* My Jax would NEVER BE THAT CRUEL to Liz. Procurement of a shady kidney to save Josslyn, sure. But this crap with Jake is just stupid.

      and this is my rant…..

      i have gotten into trouble for posting this….so hope i won’t here..

      i used to say julian ZERO SONNY HERO…

      AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE GOING AND DOING IT WITH JAX, NOW….

      what made me hate sonny, well there was that first, drugging karen…and all that…and don’t start arguing wtih me, oh he didn’t force her to take the drugs, and that stuff, um hello, sonny you supplied them in your club, and all that kind of stuff…yes you did…..so…

      and then there was, well if sonny can’t get the girl, hey no one else can either…

      jax and brenda were to be married, but hey, sonny was the sore looser in that, so he goes and brings jax’s presumed dead wife to town to stop the wedding…

      yes, i know, jax did the same to skye q….when he married her, spent their wedding night with an undead brenda who just had to make her presence known on that day..

      but guess what, sonny you started it…

      susan

      alot of the stories and the way that they’re writing them are just plain stupid

      susan

    • Okay, but even if Jax did know the kidney wasn’t from Jake, he had no way of knowing that Jake wasn’t actually dead. Yeah, I think if he knew Jake was really alive he would’ve told Liz and Jason, but how would he have known that?

      • who knows how they’re going to make this story in the end…

        i bet that they don’t even know themselves…where they’re going with it…

        susan

        • None of this Jake/Joss crap makes any sense. But it had to strike Jax as odd that Jake was a match for Joss and suddenly he still needed kidney. Or there was an extra kidney just hanging around. WTF? Also, a terrible time to SORAS Joss and not Liz’s 2 oldest boys. Cameron and Jake are supposed to be older than Joss. Aiden is supposed to be 6, Jake 9/10 and Cameron should be around 12. And Joss should be between Aiden and Jake.

          This stupid retcon is just that, stupid. It is one thing to just say Helena!Reasons! And leave it at that. But to drag poor Jax into this disaster is TIIC being assholes. At least with Helena, it would kind of make sense for her to keep Jake, intact and alive. If only to torment Liz, Lucky, Laura, Nik and Luke. Adding Jax to this crap only makes Jax look bad.

          • yes they really don’t know what htey’re going and doing with this story

            but i don’t think that they aged joss at at. all

            keep this in mind, she’s what 12-13…and so are liz’s two boys……but here’s a thought…girls mature at that age faster then boys…so that’s why she appears older then spencer who is aging very nicely thank you very much….and cameron

            so while she might appear older, i really don’t think that she is, because well the boys haven’t quite caught up yet and they might not for another 2-3 years….some boys don’t even start maturing until well they hit high school….at the age of 15-16 even sometimes not until 17-18

            so if they keep the two boys playing spencer and cameron, i say good for them……because this soap so desperately needs it….

            i watch a brit soap where all the kids get to grow up before your eyes…..so while we might think that the boys are at a stand still, they’re actually not….

            where by pretty much at that time the girls have stopped growing….

            Susan

    • Susan, Cameron and Spencer were born in 2004 and 2006, respectively, and are both played by 11 year olds, so relatively accurate. Jake was born in 2007 and is played by a nine year old, so he’s actually been slightly de-aged. Joss was born on screen in 2009, so she should be younger than all of them, but is now played by a 13 year old. She has absolutely been SORASed.

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