Sometimes dreams really DO come true!

So, I rage quit this show three weeks ago after Liz told the rapist she’s dating about her rape trauma and he somehow immediately managed to make it all about his pain over the fact that this might prevent her from dating him. HAHAHA, IF ONLY THAT WERE TRUE.

(And then she actually ended up apologizing to him about it? And the show presented this as somehow the most romantic thing ever?  And I think my brain actually exploded?)

sabrinas-corpse

Anyway, I just haven’t had it in me to turn it back on since. But a couple days ago I jokingly said that if they killed off Sabrina, I would start watching again… and I now realize I should have aimed a little higher. (Dear show, I will come back if you get rid of Sabrina AND Morgan. Oh, wait.)

YOU’RE WELCOME, EVERYONE.

So to keep up my end of the bargain, I’m now about to marathon my way through sixteen episodes, girded solely by the fast forward button and this bottle of candy Cranberry liquor.

cranberry-booze-is-the-bessssst

man’s best friend

Join me, friends, on this journey of discovery/pain!

Week One

Kevin and Laura are enjoying the afterglow of their night together! Well, this is nice–Oh. It’s already been ruined. Never mind.

Carly thinks Monica will be just thrilled to attend the wedding of her youngest son at the home of the man who murdered her eldest in cold blood. Of course she will! And Jason can’t imagine anyone he’d rather have as a best man than the man who once knocked up his wife and then tried to foist the baby off on him instead! (Sam wants Alexis to be her “best girl.” I have no snark about that because it is legitimately adorable.)

laura-and-robert

GENIE FRANCIS AND TRISTAN ROGERS ARE SHARING A SCENE! THIS IS SORT OF EXCITING–oh. It’s already over. But hey, Luke’s definitely alive. Yay.

Sonny Corinthos, a man who’s gotten his daughter kidnapped multiple times and who nearly blew her up in a car bomb that he set is now berating Alexis for ruining Kristina’s life by having an argument with her in public. Of course he is.

Franco can’t understand why it would be a PR problem for the hospital to have an ex-serial killer with no education or qualifications working with troubled children while a current serial killer is killing people. Of course he can’t.

franco-and-kevin

(He also thinks Elizabeth would be a great character witness since she’s “known for her integrity.” I’m sure that argument will really convince Jason’s mother!)

Week Two

The show finally remembered that Liz and Franco share a half-brother! Does anyone else find it kind of weird that they have never discussed this before? Especially since it’s a legitimate reason for them to interact that doesn’t hinge on the lunacy of allowing a former serial killer/child kidnapper to work as a therapist for small children?

(For someone who’s supposedly so desperate for human connections, it would be great if Franco ever showed any curiosity about either Steven Lars or Serena Baldwin. You know, two characters that the writers could bring back any time if they were actually interested in building core families back up instead of introducing endless insipid newbies with uninteresting backstories… so clearly we’ll never see either of them ever again.)

paul-is-the-killer

OH MY GOD, PAUL IS THE HOSPITAL KILLER–just kidding, I was totally spoiled for that. I see it makes no sense in real time either.

Something something Maxie/Nathan/Claudette/Griffin. I don’t know, I’m fast forwarding like the wind. (I assume Obrecht was the one who had the emergency porn lighting installed in the hospital locker room? It doesn’t seem like a Monica move.)

felicia-in-red

Felicia looks nice in red

I think we’re suppose to think Ava is being a bully for ruining Nina’s chance to buy a black market baby, but since Nina literally ripped a baby out of Ava’s womb, I kind of want to give her a high five instead?

Alexis is drinking with Tracy. YES, BECOME BEST FRIENDS AND COMMISERATE ABOUT YOUR RESPECTIVE TERRIBLE TASTE IN MEN. I mean, yes, slightly awkward, because Ned, but hey, at least he’s the least disastrous of all Alexis’ relationships?

Ava thinks Paul as the serial killer makes no sense. Yes. Correct.

finn-sees-the-slap

Finn’s reaction to 1) Hayden slapping Elizabeth, and 2) the entire saga of Nikolas and Hayden’s terrible relationship is PURE FREAKING GOLD. I kind of love  him now?

OH NO IS ELIZABETH DEAD? (No.) Seeing Finn and Griffin with Liz makes me wish she been seriously chem tested with either of them. Also, I really need Roger Howarth to cut his hair. Looking at it is painful even on fast forward.

Ava is not only fine with letting Paul continue to murder random innocent people, but she is actively trying to destroy the life of one of the few people she’s ever believably cared about. Compelling!

spinelli-officiates

Oh, yay. It’s… Spinelli.

Why is the show putting itself into contortions to not have Monica at Jason’s wedding? It would be one thing if she was purposefully not attending because she couldn’t stand to set foot in Sonny’s house, but that would require 1) anyone on the show remembering she has a reason to be mad at him, and 2) this show possessing any sense of drama whatsoever.

Anna is apparently skipping Julian’s trial after obsessing over sending him to prison for over a year. Sure. That seems likely. Meanwhile, I am skipping all the trial scenes because I’ve already seen Alexis be humiliated enough to last a lifetime.

Franco is trying to get on my good side by making soliloquies about how INHUMANLY BEAUTIFUL Rebecca Herbst is. It won’t work, but I appreciate the effort.

elizabeth-has-a-rare-blood-type

true facts, yo

OH NO ELIZABETH HAS A RARE BLOOD TYPE AND ONLY HER SECRET SISTER CAN SAVE HER. I’m pretty sure no one on this show bothered to Google blood types because that’s the only thing they ever have anyone call it.

Week Three

So the hospital has a serial killer knocking off patients and doctors at random and they decided now was the perfect time to hire back a nurse who was fired for trying to deliberately cause a patient to miscarry? THOSE BUTCHERS AT MERCY are starting to sound like a pretty good bet.

hayden-and-finn

I am 1000% more into Hayden/Finn than I was Hayden/Nikolas or Silas/Anyone. Mostly because Michael Easton has finally found a way to bring McBain’s charming wry bemusement to a different character.

I love how everyone Morgan knows is instantly appalled by the thought of him going back to college. I also appreciate that Kiki uses Morgan as shorthand for “shitty boyfriend” — which even Franco understands is a horrific burn.

OH NO WILL MONICA DIE? (Actually, I’m mildly concerned about this one.)

Hayden and Elizabeth are shocked by the revelation that they’re sisters for .5 seconds before accepting it completely. Because this show is allergic to drama.

liz-and-hayden1

liz-and-hayden2

Webber hair game is strong

Every time Sonny lectures Julian about accepting the consequences of his actions and lightning doesn’t immediately strike him  dead, another tiny part of my soul dies.

It’s great how they’ve managed to have Jason checking up on Elizabeth multiple times without ever giving them a single scene together. God forbid we see him having any memories of their friendship or expressing any real emotion toward her other than vague concern for the mother of his child! I would take even anger over this nothing.

Oof. Turns out wanting Sabrina to go away is not the same as wanting to watch her be violently murdered on screen.

paul-strangles-sabrina

This is unpleasant.

Michael had .5 seconds of decently hysterical reaction to finding Sabrina’s corpse before accepting it completely. What is up with the pacing on this show? Every boring plot point drags for months and then we get rushed emotional reactions that are over in a single episode. EMOTIONAL REACTIONS ARE THE ENTIRE POINT OF SOAP OPERA.

Anyway, his speech about how Sabrina helped him to forgive Sonny is making me glad all over again that she is DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD. TOTALLY TOTALLY DEAD.

Jane Elliot emoting to an unconscious woman: more soap than the rest of these sixteen episodes combined.

tracy-at-monicas-bedside

Okay, yes. Jason calling Monica “mom” totally got me. YOU GOT ME, SHOW. ARE YOU HAPPY?

This montage of Sabrina and Felix’s friendship should be moving, but it’s just reminding me of how creepy it is that both Carlos and Joe were supposedly in love with Sabrina back when she looked and acted like a thirteen year old girl.

RIP, Sabrina. You were embarrassing and then you were annoying and now you’re one less boring character taking up screen time. One down, fifteen to go!

Advertisements

29 thoughts on “Sometimes dreams really DO come true!

  1. I was almost embarrassed by how much I’m into Finn/Hayden (speaking as a TOTAL Rebecca Budig stan), until I remembered how hard I struggled to care about Hayden and The Guy Who Had Her Shot In The Head.

    They actually like each other! They’re sparkly together! They had an honest slow burn!

    I’m not going to seriously care about Liz and Hayden as sisters until we get some real scenes between them that tackle that. Although the Webber-hair-fu is FIERCE.

    Jane Elliot is my spirit animal.

  2. Rare blood type. Sure. Didn’t Liz have to donate blood to Sonny for a similar stupid reason? This show is the worst. Secret sisters! They hate each other! Find out the possible truth, nothing happens! Franco has been almost nothing but bad luck to Liz. And yay, he made her horrible rape as a teen all about him! What a catch!

    No mention of why it is highly insane to expect Monica to happily flounce into the house of the PARDONED CRIMINAL who murdered her oldest son.

    And Sabrina. I could care less about her death. Only that it was needed. And happy that it happened.

    Sonny can go to hell. Like he is any better than Julian.

    Jane Elliot is a goddess.

    16 episodes in a marathon? Not enough liquor in the world for me.

  3. You sacrificed yourself so that others may have the joy of knowing that Sabrina is truly gone! I would never be that big of a person. :P

  4. Quick! Make another declaration, quitting the show, until your demands are met! We have found our beacon of hope, people!

    Maybe a little of Sonny being called out for the awful human he is, the show remembering that Elizabeth and Sonny have the same blood type since she donated to him years ago, more pointless newbs with no actual purpose leaving. I need this Nathan/Maxie/Griffin/Claudette thing to disappear. It’s boring and slow and really…who cares about Nathan having a backstory? If FV was going to bring on Bree Williamson, she should’ve been Sarah Webber. Imo, Hayden is not needed, but since they’re doing this sister mess, Sarah would’ve added to the story. She could’ve had Jeff’s back, while Elizabeth was negative about him, which she should be. I’m not here for her talking about her Dad being close to perfect. Um, he’s not. Case in point, he hasn’t shown up for her in 19 years and during horrific times in her life. There should be animosity there. Why are the writers skating over actual built-in drama???

    Whatever you choose, I need you to discontinue your viewership again, starting…NOW!

  5. I don’t get Sonny’s animosity for Julian, unless he’s secretly into Alexis again. The show is trying to make it seem like some epic rivalry. Julian doesn’t care and this doesn’t even make into Sonny’s top 10.

      • Sonny’s animosity towards Julian is because we’re back to Sonny being the bastion of justice and peace in Pt. Charles and Julian’s back to being the oh so evil mobster who’s akin to Darth Vader.

        Sonny is just an innocent coffee importer when he’s not solving crimes for the PCPD (next up will be the GH murders since Sabrina’s death thrust him in that story towards its climax). Duke was in charge of marketing and customer service for Sonny’s coffee company. Alas Duke was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time when brutally assassinated by the evil mobster Julian who I guess doesn’t want a Starbucks in his territory.

        Nah, Sonny has no secret crush on Alexis. She was simply a means to an end to bring down the biggest threat to Sonny’s coffee empire in Julian. Besides in a matter of weeks, Alexis went back to the way Bob Guza wrote her: a self loathing miserable woman that only a psycho could pretend to love. She’ll be relegated to counseling her children’s love lives once again using her own experiences as failures to avoid. She doesn’t even have a career and her main spoiler for Fall was spending her time all day in her pajamas. Her plot point duty in the Super Sonny, epic coffee importer who fights all evil, likely over. Mental breakdowns present great opportunities but Sonny will probably heroically talk her down from it and have her committed to ShadyBrooke off screen. If most of Morgan’s commitment to deal with his bipolar disorder happened off screen, the same will happen to her.

        The rest of the show when it’s not focused on Sonny is all centered around the so-called Livers and the EP’s personal favorites. Claudette has a secret. Who the hell cares? She’s been on a few weeks. Griffin barely longer than that and Maxie and Nathan haven’t done much besides look pretty.

        Nina and Lulu’s baby rabies. Yawn. Greenlee and Kendall, I mean Hayden and Liz and Liz’s apologies to the man who kidnapped her kid. Icky.

  6. I tuned back in because Hayden and Liz being sisters seems interesting, and was pleasantly surprised to enjoy SilasFinnWhatever and Hayden. Like them MUCH MUCH MUCH more than her and Nik. I tolerate Franco but I don’t really like him, and he and Liz are 50 Shades of Wrong.

    I’ve been watching 1981 (well skimming 1981, Laura is beautiful and Robert’s Aussie accent is fun but I cannot understand why Luke was ever popular) and I can’t work out how or why this show tried to sell Franco as Jason’s twin. Susan, Alan and Jason are living in the cottage playing happy families, while Heather is working at Kelly’s and trying to get Steven Lars back (is Lars his middle name or surname? Even his mother refers to him as both names) who is offscreen with Jeff and Scotty is in bloody Mexico having a breakdown because Laura left him. Franco couldn’t have been born at the same time as Jason, its impossible.

    I know, I know, trying to subject soap operas to logic, its a lost cause.

    • Speaking of GH in the 80s (and I am old enough to have actually watched it then — I started watching as a kid), I just read that John Stamos is working on a cable drama about a young soap star in the 80s soap based on his own experiences. Sounds like it could be really bad, but as a former teen swooner for Blackie, I may have to take a look.

      • From what I read it’s actually based on a similar project that the actress who played Robin’s been working on for years. She even wrote a pilot for it. Watching various soap actors call Stamos to the carpet over it on twitter has been interesting.

  7. Franco. Made Liz’s rape. About HIM?!?!? *rages*

    Shit. Now I feel like I have to watch the show again so I can quit it in a fit of boiling rage. I quit watching a few months ago, but it was just because I was bored and unhappy. That no longer feels sufficient.

    (For the record, it’s not that I’m surprised that Franco did this. I am disgusted and offended, not surprised.)

    • It was literally one of the most enraging things I’ve ever watched on this show, and that’s saying a lot. And it didn’t have to be that way at all! I was even trying to keep an open mind about it. All they had to do was have him be absolutely horrified and concerned for her and to focus all his attention and sympathy on her. And… nope. Straight into only caring about how this affects their ability to date each other.

      FLAMES… FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE.

  8. The’ve discussed the Steven connection twice before this. It was during Friz related scenes so I understand if you totally blocked it out. ;)

    Glad you’re back, and posting again. Hopefully GH gives you (and all of us, really) a reason to stay with it!

    • Huh. Really? I remember it coming up briefly with Franco and Heather, but never really a substantial conversation between Franco and Liz.

      Overall, I guess I’ve just been consistently disappointed by the superficiality of the way they’ve written Franco’s familial connections. They only bring them up when they need them for the plot and otherwise he doesn’t seem to care, which make it seem pointless. I would rather they had used them to flesh him out as a changed character, post-brain tumor. Oh, well.

      • I thought you meant the show overall. Heather and Franco spoke about it at the same time as Naomi and Liz, I believe.

        That could apply to many people across the board. Does Scott bring her up at all? I know Georgie doesn’t get mentioned nearly enough. It’s been said before, but the actress who plays Nelle should’ve been Serena. Now that that’s not an option I’d love to see Molly Burnett in the role. I thought she did great as a temporary Maxie. Gelled well with a lot of people. And I’m always here for more Baldwins!

        • Yeah, there’s a failure to make the most of non-Corinthos family connections pretty much across the board. The fact that we have Claudette and Kiki instead of Serena Baldwin and Sarah Webber is baffling.

  9. Thanks for the comments. Now I just deleted those . thanks I can go right back to hating the Mykill, red headed menace. he wants to thank Sabrina for talking him into putting Avery into the same danger he grew yup in. bye Sabrina. If paul wants to kill, he can kill the unholy three. Then I would root for him. Robert returned, I tried watching. Sorry I can’t. I also wanted to watch laura with Doc, that didn’t last long.
    I refuse to watch a show where the scummy killer is the hero, and a GOOD gag me father ? And Darth Vader once he went to the dark side, never tried to pass him self off as anything but what he was. A killing machine.
    After all the years and soaps I watched. GH has made me all soaped out.I don’t appreciated them trying to make the fans look the fool and brain dead with no memories.

  10. I’m not sure what the point was of bringing back Jeff Parisse as Carlo’s brother Joe, who looks exactly like him, and was also in love/involved with Sabrina, if they were just going to kill Sabrina off. Remember, when Sabrina was the Ugly Betty/Cinderella of Port Charles until Felix gave her a make-over and all of a sudden they retconned her whole back story? Now it looks like Nelle is going to turn into Sabrina 2.0. I agree with all the comments about bringing on not only Serena. And I’m not surprised that the show made Liz’s rape all about Franco, they did the same thing when Jason thought that Franco had raped Sam.

  11. Jelly is doing a bangin’ job and GH is better than it’s been in almost a decade! KevLaur, Killon, Fayden, CarSon, and especially Friz are being written with a lot of care. There’s obvious investment & it’s clear that where Friz is concerned especially that they are a long-term couple/plan.

    The Friz scene where Liz told Franco about her rape was outstanding! Too bad many can’t get over their Franco hate long enough to appreciate it for what it was because it was NOT all about Franco. Not even close. But haters will see what they want to & refuse to see another side, I suppose. That’s just the way life works.

    The cast is still WAAAAY too big, pacing & consistency are still a major issue, but overall I give GH an A- to B+. And tho I’ll be the first to admit I’m happy Morgan’s gone, the major players involved are totally bringin’ it. I may not feel all that sorry for Carly but that doesn’t mean LW isn’t hitting it outta the ballpark.

    I watch GH every single day except when I can’t (but that’s what DVR’s are for) & I’m enjoying the hell out of it. My only major complaint is that Friz need to be on my screen at least 3x a week. The slow-burn & uber chemistry of Frriz need to front and center.

    • Congratulations in enjoying the show right now! That must be nice. Please assume that those of us who aren’t as enthusiastic are not just “haters” stubbornly determined to be miserable but simply people with a different opinion about the story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s