Oh, how we laughed!

Wow, you guys. What an episode! I have not laughed like that in a long time. But which part was the funniest? So hard to choose from so much bonkers.

A) The super dramatic slow pan over a bunch of adults just staring while a child… standing a few feet away… very slowly… picked up a tin can? (Kind of like that Austin Powers steamroller scene? Only dumber. Much, much dumber.)

noooooooooooooo

B) The reveal of Helena’s final diabolical plan? Which, as far as I can tell, boils down to the following:

  1. buy a deadly bio-toxin
  2. WAIT THIRTY YEARS
  3. fake a child’s death
  4. brainwash the child to perform a magic show
  5. become a hypno ghost
  6. ???
  7. PROFIT

Why did she wait 30 years to melt Port Charles? Why did she need Jake to melt Port Charles when she had perfectly good goons? Why did she leave Elizabeth those cryptic hints that let everyone foil her plan?

shhh don’t think

Why are the goons she hired hanging around a town about to be showered in deadly contagion? Why is anyone still doing her bidding now that she is dead and they’ve presumably already been paid? All these questions and more to be answered never.

C) Ava hulking out and setting her own warehouse on fire…

…causing Sonny to drop Carly flat on her face?

He just kind of… threw her on her face? For no reason? I watched it like five times.

D) MAN LANDERS.

ENOUGH SAID

E) Jason’s reaction to gun wielding goons interrupting his hunt for Helena’s ghost?

oh hi

It was like the last bit of Billy Miller that even slightly gave a shit about this show just curled up and died, right on screen.

F) Emma’s expression after Laura and Lulu totally kidnapped her for some late night charades instead of taking her home to Robin?

someone please call my mom

Bonus points for Charlotte’s “kill me now” face.

G) This amazing speech from Carly?

CARLY:  Was it fun ruining my son’s life? Taking my beautiful, innocent little boy and turning him into someone that we didn’t recognize, someone he didn’t recognize, someone that he didn’t want to be?

I know this one technically happened on Friday, but come on. Morgan! And innocent child! Morgan “trigger happy, drugged his brother, seduced his girlfriend’s mother” Corinthos! AMAZING.

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15 thoughts on “Oh, how we laughed!

  1. I watched Carly fall three times to try to figure out why. I’ve concluded that the seemingly ordinary lantern gave off a Carly-sensitive shockwave that knocked her down when smashed. Ava developed it for just such emergencies thus explaining why she smashed the lantern.

  2. Every time Carly calls Morgan her innocent little boy I want to smash something. He wasn’t innocent. He wasn’t a little boy. He was a grown man and an a-hole.

  3. Guy should have just shot Nina, Carly should have smacked her head and she and Sonny should have perished in the flames, and Ava should have run and rescued her daughter from Carson hell. Nelle and Michael are creepy.

  4. Actually, I thought the show was entertaining. Better than when Guza killed AJ.
    Or Alan.
    Or Emily.
    Or Georgie.
    Or Jake.
    Or another beloved character every sweeps.
    While St-Jason saved PC everytime. Better than when Ron introduced 13 new characters in one year while Liz was nurse number 3 or she kidnapped a hitman and kept him as her personal house elf / sex slave. So yeah, I’ll take Jelly over Guza or RC any day.

  5. Yeah, I had a hard trying to figure out why all of a sudden the Chimera became a thing 30 years after Valentin stole it. But then again the WSB took like 30 years before they finally caught Faison, so go figure. And I’m amazed that Anna, who is usually one of the smartest characters on this show, didn’t figure out that Valentin sold it to Helena. The clues were all there, the person he sold it to was dead. And why would ghost Helena have waited until practically everyone at the ball was gone before getting Jake to release the biotoxin? This show makes no sense on a good day, although I did kind of enjoy the whole Man Landers thing.

  6. OK, I watched for exactly 35 minutes last week and I was perplexed at pretty much everything that was happening. It is admirable that you carry on, but I am grateful I am no longer watching this pile of crap.

  7. I vote C just because I was so desperate for someone to do something interesting in that scene, other than I wanted Ava to triumph because UGH SONNY SHUT UP.

    Honorable mention to E – I was confused as to how Jason was so easily taken hostage but basically came to the same conclusion about “the last bit of Billy Miller that even slightly gave a shit” having just died.

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