Wow, you guys. What an episode! I have not laughed like that in a long time. But which part was the funniest? So hard to choose from so much bonkers.
A) The super dramatic slow pan over a bunch of adults just staring while a child… standing a few feet away… very slowly… picked up a tin can? (Kind of like that Austin Powers steamroller scene? Only dumber. Much, much dumber.)
B) The reveal of Helena’s final diabolical plan? Which, as far as I can tell, boils down to the following:
- buy a deadly bio-toxin
- WAIT THIRTY YEARS
- fake a child’s death
- brainwash the child to perform a magic show
- become a hypno ghost
Why did she wait 30 years to melt Port Charles? Why did she need Jake to melt Port Charles when she had perfectly good goons? Why did she leave Elizabeth those cryptic hints that let everyone foil her plan?
shhh don’t think
Why are the goons she hired hanging around a town about to be showered in deadly contagion? Why is anyone still doing her bidding now that she is dead and they’ve presumably already been paid? All these questions and more to be answered never.
C) Ava hulking out and setting her own warehouse on fire…
…causing Sonny to drop Carly flat on her face?
He just kind of… threw her on her face? For no reason? I watched it like five times.
D) MAN LANDERS.
E) Jason’s reaction to gun wielding goons interrupting his hunt for Helena’s ghost?
It was like the last bit of Billy Miller that even slightly gave a shit about this show just curled up and died, right on screen.
F) Emma’s expression after Laura and Lulu totally kidnapped her for some late night charades instead of taking her home to Robin?
someone please call my mom
Bonus points for Charlotte’s “kill me now” face.
G) This amazing speech from Carly?
CARLY: Was it fun ruining my son’s life? Taking my beautiful, innocent little boy and turning him into someone that we didn’t recognize, someone he didn’t recognize, someone that he didn’t want to be?
I know this one technically happened on Friday, but come on. Morgan! And innocent child! Morgan “trigger happy, drugged his brother, seduced his girlfriend’s mother” Corinthos! AMAZING.