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A tale of two incompetent hit men.

April 25, 2015

Nathan’s at the hospital, holding a flyer advertising the Nurses’ Ball. (Sponsored by Aveeno! Naturally Beautiful Results®) I would mock it more, but Aveeno products have been helping keep my Eczema at bay for years. (Aveeno! Harness the power of ACTIVE NATURALS® ingredients!)

Nurse' Ball 2015

Anyway, the ball is next Friday, aka tomorrow in show time. Which means we’ve got an entire week to kill over the course of one day. But it’s cool! I’m sure they have some really stimulating material to fill up the time! Speaking of which: Silas walks in and reminds Nathan that he used to be his brother-in-law. I, for one, am fascinated already.

Over at ELQ, Sonny swears he had nothing to do with drugging Michael. Which Michael knows, because he is not an idiot and has already jumped to the obvious and correct conclusion about the culprits. Right on cue: enter Morgan and Kiki! Read more…

Five Things About Revenge: “Burn”

April 21, 2015
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I marathoned 6 episodes of this show yesterday. It started out painful, then I sort of became numb, and by the end I was so delirious, I’d almost convinced myself I was into it? Anyway, big stuff’s afoot and the show has clearly been canceled, so I may end up doing reaction posts for the final episodes.

Nolan and Tony

1. Nolan Ross found a boy who treats him right! Since the writers are obviously sticking with the Emily/Jack endgame plan they started out with — regardless of what makes sense for the story they’ve actually been telling, not that I’m bitter or anything — Nolan ending up with a nice boy instead is really the best I can hope for. Read more…

Race to the bottom!

April 16, 2015

Every day this week, I’ve finished watching General Hospital and racked my brain for something interesting to say about it.

“Dear readers, Franco and Nina had relationship problems today and OH MY GOD WHO CARES,” the imaginary post in my head begins. “Also, Spinelli and Maxie got back together and I kind of wanted to die?” it continues. “Oh, look. Fluke is still a thing that is happening.” And that’s about as far as I can get before depressing myself so badly that I have to go drink some wine and think about my life choices.

But anyway, yesterday this happened and it was mildly satisfying:

Kiki is the worst

KIKI: Michael was right about everything. He’s the one who loved Avery enough to protect her and we were the ones who put her at risk.

I realize the fact that she said that means the odds of Michael actually turning out to be the kidnapper just rose exponentially, but I’m going to ignore that for a moment to bask in the schadenfreude. YES, KIKI. FEEL BAD. YOUR CHOICES ARE AS AWFUL AS YOUR HAIR. Read more…

You can’t make this crap up.

April 10, 2015

This a game I like to call “actual things Port Charles citizens have said this week.” See if you can spot the dialog that isn’t real!

Morgan's duh face

MORGAN: Do you think what’s best for Avery is to be raised by Sabrina, the woman who tried to kill her?
KIKI: Of course I don’t! She should obviously be raised by the man who tried to kill her mother! Read more…

Soap Report: “City Hunter”

April 7, 2015

Let’s talk City Hunter! For some reason, I watched this show, loved it to death, started this post and then never finished it for 6 months. I got distracted? I don’t know, you guys. No one pays me for this stuff.

City-Hunter logo

Anyway, City Hunter is a 20 episode 2011 Korean drama, currently available on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon… basically everywhere. You have no excuse. Just watch it. Read more…

Happy birthday, baby.

April 2, 2015

Well, folks, it’s hard to believe it’s been another year already, but here we are. So, happy birthday, General Hospital! Even though I complain sometimes — sometimes a lot — I’m glad you’re still around.

Old credits

We open this year’s anniversary episode on Luke standing outside the old Elm Street house — which is way more intact than I expected, considering a bomb went off in the basement not that long ago. I am seriously starting to doubt Jason’s qualifications as a demolitions expert, you guys. Read more…

Soap Report: “Fated to Love You”

March 31, 2015

Oh, Fated to Love You. How did you swallow my soul so completely? Guys, this show will be the most adorable/agonizing 20 hours of your life. It’s like the tv equivalent of a cupcake that is filled with tears. YOU WILL LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT.

Fated to Love You

What’s it about? Sweet, naive Kim Mi Young and rich, eccentric Lee Gun are forced to get married after he accidentally knocks her up while they’re both drugged out of their minds. (Don’t ask.)

If that premise does nothing for you, don’t worry. I felt the same way. Then I started watching and the characters basically reached into my heart and started squeezing until I was completely lost? Read more…

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