Okay, listen. I love Liesl Obrecht. Love her! She’s campy, she wears fierce hats like a boss. She’s really good with hand puppets! Kathleen Gati is a gift who deserves better material than she often gets. But I can love Obrecht, because she’s a fun villain who I know is not real.
The good people of Port Charles do not know that. So they should not have a drop of tolerance or sympathy for her. Which is why all the collective amnesia floating around is a little weird: Continue reading
Am I crazy or did this episode actually feel like a soap opera? We got a mix of hijinks and emotional conversations about feelings, team ups between unlikely allies, vets actually getting to do stuff… I mean it wasn’t a masterpiece, but it at least met the bare requirements of competence? My bar is set real low these days, people.
Outside Kelly’s, Julian is trying to convince Alexis to take a drive with him when Kristina walks up. She wants to know what’s going on. Your mother is making poor life choices, little K. That’s what’s going on.
Hayden’s in the Q living room, confessing her doubts about parenthood to Curtis while Finn eavesdrops. Curtis wonders if she’s worried about being a good mom, or just worried she doesn’t want to be a mom at all. I wonder why she’s living at the Quartermaine’s. Is Monica saving money at the hospital by paying her in room and board instead of a salary? Continue reading
It’s Nurses’ Ball time! We open on Robin — real Robin, not a dumb hallucination this time. She’s on the phone with Patrick, who is away at a conference and therefore missing the Nurses’ Ball… which is apparently being broadcast not just on Port Charles local access this year, but NATIONWIDE on a major network? Hey, that’s more than you can say for the Daytime Emmys!
They tune into the red carpet where our regular host, Donnie Sheldon, has been joined by Nina and real life news personality, Abbie Boudreau. Donnie is excited to see “luminaries” like Bobbie and Lucas arrive. Does this mean that the national audience is supposed to know who Bobbie Spencer is? Amazing.
Bobbie tells the camera that this Nurses’ Ball has an extra special meaning for her, and Jackie Zeman gives the creepiest, way too sexual line reading for a woman currently arm in arm with her own son. But I do like her blue dress. Continue reading
Back from vacation and I managed to soldier through an entire week of this show in two days. All for you, people! All for you! Anyway, stuff kind of happened in the last episode, so here’s a recap.
We open on Tracy demanding to see Dr. “I ❤ Lizards” Finn, while Obrecht lectures everyone about hospital procedures, making this the third episode in a week in which bureaucratic red tape has been played for high drama.
The face I also often make while watching this show
Dylan calls Dr. Finn, who doesn’t answer because he’s busy meditating and talking to himself. For a guy who was willing to drop his whole life and move to a new city indefinitely on zero notice at the request of a colleague he barely knows, he seem awfully put out by the idea of actually having to do any work. Continue reading
Alexis is watching the coverage of Franco’s trial with a bottle of wine (hey, me too!) when Sam shows up. She thinks drinking a bottle wine alone is verging on “hot mess territory.” Um, some of us just call that “Monday,” Sam. Don’t judge.
At the hospital, Patrick catches Liz — who should only wear that shade of red, by the way — admiring her engagement ring of lies and betrayal. He offers his congratulations. When she says they haven’t had time to do any wedding planning yet, he suggests Maxie could help out, prompting a patented Elizabeth Webber “bitch please” look. Continue reading
Rounding out a stunning streak of two entertaining episodes in a row, the Nurses’ Ball is here! Which means drama and dresses and Mutti singing her fabulous little heart out, even if the only one who truly appreciates her is fellow drama queen, Spencer.
The fashion portion of the evening was… a really mixed bag. Like, seldom have I seen so many attractive people dressed so universally not well? Especially when some of the actors looked so much better at the Emmys last week. Just let them wear their own dresses next time. Continue reading
As usual, I planned to have this done by January 1st, and as usual, I completely failed that resolution. But better late than never, right? So, snuggle up on the couch with your favorite super villain, kids. It’s year in review time:
General Hospital 2014
NATHAN: Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy? But you’re really hot… so let’s be roommates maybe?
MAXIE: Listen, you’re sweet, but I’ve ruined a lot of lives lately, and now I really need to skip town to avoid dealing with the fall out.
NATHAN: Damn. I knew I should have taken my shirt off before asking.
SABRINA: I can’t believe you told Patrick you were my baby’s father!
CARLOS: If it bothers you that much, you could always just tell him the truth.
SABRINA: Well, that’s obviously impossible. It’s not sweeps yet.
ROBIN: After two years of captivity, all I want is for things to get back to normal.
PATRICK: Let’s get pregnant. Right now.
PATRICK: Are you ovulating? Is there any way you can start?
NATHAN: Hello, DOCTOR MURDERER. Have you murdered anyone today?
SILAS: Do I know you?
NATHAN: What? No! Can’t a complete stranger just take an obsessive interest in a twenty year old case for no reason? Continue reading
I’m stuffed with cookies and good spirit, so we’re doing a recap! We open on the hospital, where Nathan is wearing an adorable bib and little white socks to eat his Christmas Eve ribs. Maxie calls from Portland, looking more festive and fresh faced than I ever am after a cross country flight.
But she apparently got bumped to first class on the last minute Christmas Eve flight she was somehow able to afford, despite not having had a job in over a year. Because these are the kinds of things that happen to soap opera people. Continue reading
I’m trying to ease myself back into posting more regularly, but it’s tough, y’all. So have a recap:
Emma and Spencer are continuing their breakfast chat. I guess Port Charles is a magical place where schools don’t start until noon, leaving all second graders with plenty of time for leisurely impromptu restaurant trips. He thinks he knows who’s trying to hurt her family.
Close by, Sam is interrogating a delightfully clean shaven Patrick about why he didn’t mention the business card they found in Rafe’s things. (He looks easily ten years younger without the beard, right? That’s not just me?)
Anna’s office: the lady in question helpfully recaps the situation for us while on the phone with a worried Mac. The Port Charles Press, by the way, is sporting this magnificent cover photo: Continue reading
Folks, it’s Nurses’ Ball time again. And you know what that means: I straight up love this stuff, so for three days, I’m going to resist the urge to roll my eyes at the kiddie love triangle, mutter under my breath about the waste that was AJ being killed off, or curse Franco’s name.
I refuse to let little details like my active lack of interest in the show lately stop me from enjoying all the ball gowns and contact embarrassment with every bone in my body, damn it.
First things first: LIESL OBRECHT IS THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING. Obviously. You know why? Because she is a woman who enjoys life. Sure, she may be a mad scientist, and the criminal mastermind she loves may probably be dead, and both of her children and all of her employees may want nothing to do with her. But she has fun, damn it. My darling Liesl doesn’t let pesky things like reality get in her way. And I appreciate that.
(I also appreciate the things that outfit was doing for Kathleen Gati’s…. everything. But that is another matter entirely.) Continue reading