“Self,” I said to myself last night, “you haven’t posted an episode reaction in a while. Let’s do one tonight.” And then yesterday’s episode featured heavy amounts of Kiki existing, Morgan’s emotional problems, and gross Ava/Paul flirtation.
So, let’s talk about Robin and Patrick’s third (fourth? Does that vow renewal after she came back from the dead count?) wedding!
You know, as sad as I am to lose Jason Thompson — and as especially sad as I am to lose him to Y&R instead of a better opportunity somewhere in primetime — it’s just such a relief that Robin is finally done being kidnapped after almost three straight years of captivity. And even if the stylists have been doing their best to soften the blow by making Patrick’s hair as awful as humanly possible lately, and even though their reunion was totally rushed, I’m also glad to see Scrubs fans getting the happily ever after they’ve been waiting for. Continue reading
Because my part of the country is currently drowning in snow and there is more on the way, it seems like a good time to revisit the Port Charles blizzard of 1994.
So let’s travel back 21 years ago, to the first time Sonny participated in a prison break! To set the scene: Karen and Jagger are about to get married, but his little brother Stone is still working for Sonny. Which was bad, because 1993 Sonny had been really into rigging boxing matches and sleeping with drug addicted teenage strippers, and K & J hate his guts. 1994 Sonny, on the other hand, was more interested in sleeping with non-drug addicted teenage girls, aka Brenda. But they’ve mainly just flirted at this point.
Oh, and Sonny and Luke are breaking Frank Smith out of prison and everyone has a double cross planned. Mobsters can really not be trusted, guys.
We open on Jagger, unconscious and in a neck brace. Steve’s examining examining him while Audrey looks on, although his examination technique mostly involves calling Jagger’s name repeatedly and it kind of seems like anyone could have done that? Whatever, Hardy. Continue reading
On the last few days of the Nurses’ Ball: Blackie Parrish was a total lie, Epiphany’s interest in Milo’s junk started to get creepy, I had a lot of feelings about the Westbourne siblings, and Doc broke all of our hearts.
ADORABLE GOOBERS AND I LOVE THEM
The two big themes of the end of the ball seemed to be: 1) pushy dudes, and 2) friendship. Which is kind of a weird combo, when you think about it, but okay. Seriously, though — between Ric, Scotty, Brad, FauxLuke and freaking Spencer, is there a single guy of any age on this show capable of taking no for an answer?
(I keep hoping Nikolas will explain to his son that Emma is not a prize and he’s not entitled to her forgiveness or love just because he wants it. But then I remember Nikolas himself would have to be aware of these concepts in the first place, so… basically this will never happen.) Continue reading
You guys! You guys! YOU. GUYS.
I know I’ve been gone for such a long time. Luckily, Tenillypo has kept the fire burning in my absence. (Thanks, best co-blogger ever!) But today, I was just so effing happy and I had to come back to spew all my candy-filled glee all over you all. Did you have a cigarette at minute 58 of the episode? Because I sure wanted to. Monday I was cursing RC. Now, I love him with all my heart. What a difference a day makes.
ROBIN: It’s okay. Go to Sabrina.
PATRICK: What if I lose you again. I can’t…I can’t…
ROBIN: You’re not gonna lose me again. Tell him baby.
EMMA: I’ve got her, Daddy. I’ll hold onto Mommy.
PATRICK: Don’t move. You stay right here.
ROBIN: I’m not gonna move.
ME: *EPIC FLAILING*
I can’t even express how amazingly satisfying that was. JT and KMc most definitely still have it. Continue reading
It seems like lately the show has two modes: things that I want to kill with fire — like, say, anything to do with Franco’s attempts at dating hijinks. Or Franco’s attempts to revive his art career. Or Franco’s attempts to use his super funny recent past as a serial killer to intimidate romantic rivals. Or–well, you get the idea.
But then there are the things that are so awesome that I can only flail madly at my computer screen. Like, say, pretty much everything to do with the Robin story.
Robin effing Scorpio, you guys! Not giving up, even after almost TWO YEARS of captivity. Spitting on Jerry! Snarking at Obrecht! Fighting to get back to her family — but also not blaming Patrick for moving on with his life, and taking care of the baby she thinks is his. I just love her so much. Continue reading
Let’s be honest: Kristina Wagner has never been the strongest actress. She’s had a few really great moments, and skated by the rest of the time on a likable presence and good chemistry. Which is all you really need sometimes on a soap, so I’m not knocking it. Better actors by far have floundered without that magic soap touch.
Since she’s been back, it’s taken her a little while to get into the groove again — with one notable exception. But damn if she didn’t kind of rip my heart out here:
MAXIE: We’re in a good place now.
FELICIA: We’re in a great place. Because of you. You let me back into your life and you didn’t have to, Maxie.
MAXIE: You’re my mom.
FELICIA: I haven’t always acted like one. Thank you for giving me a chance. I promise I won’t waste it. My little girl. All grown up. So compassionate, so strong. You’re going to be an exceptional mother someday, do you know that?
MAXIE: I love you, mom.
(Thanks, ladies. I didn’t really want to get through the rest of my day without crying anyway.) Continue reading
It is a scientifically proven fact that even when this show — how do I say this delicately? — sucked gigantic donkey balls, wedding-related parties at Jake’s The Floating Rib are always awesome. Always.
Obviously, this was no exception. Poison! Karaoke! Baby momma drama! Drag! Everything I love in life, basically!
First of all, can we please talk about my new girlfriend, Liesl Obrecht? Because she is both the MVP of the last few episodes and OF MY HEART. Who else could rock that wig with such panache? Who else could pull off a monologue referring to her romantic rival as “the sow and her piglet”? Or dialog like this? Continue reading
On this, the second day of the 2013 Nurses’ Ball, we saw: secrets and skivvies revealed! Tangos danced! JESSIE’S GIRL!
Oh, and Richard Simmons came out of the closet. So there’s that.
Plus: Mac and Felicia got engaged! After she asked him, which was a nice touch, given their history. And then they were both so adorably giddy about it and they smiled and kissed and danced like enormous, flailing dorks to Jessie’s Girl and it all made me so very happy. Continue reading
Laura Spencer is in the house! And she’s got a fabulous new hairdo, a really cute coat, and a mysterious plan! She’s also got an update on Lucky, which… well, I’ll just let her tell it:
LAURA: No, I saw [Lucky] last year, in Ireland. Found him sitting in a church yard, of all places.
AHAHAHAHA. I think I’m just going to go ahead and consider that a not so subtle burn on the previous regime’s, um, creative writing choices for Lucky.
Anyway: LAURA! If there was any doubt this visit will be going differently from the previous ones, in the space of one episode we got: 1) Luke actually admitting the he’s never felt anything for anyone else like he did for her, 2) other characters paying homage to her actual heroic history rather than her bullshit retconned “fragility,” and 3) most importantly of all… strong hints that this is a Laura with an agenda of some kind. Continue reading
IT’S FRISCO TIME, Y’ALL!
Actually, I have a confession to make: beloved as I know he is, the truth is, I’ve never really had much use for Frisco. Not his fault. I just missed his heyday, so other than YouTube clips, I know him mostly as a deadbeat who only occasionally shows up to (hotly) father more children to abandon.
Which isn’t to say I’m not THRILLED to see Jack Wagner’s face on my screen, because hello, drama bomb! And also, it’s just fun seeing the parade of vets continue. (Speaking of which… HOLY CRAP, I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.) (Just visiting a friend, my ass.)
But it does mean that I spent a lot of time giving Frisco the finger and Mac imaginary fist bumps during exchanges like this: Continue reading