NASCAR: all the cool kids are watching it.

It’s amazing how likeable Dante and Lulu can be when he’s not being smarmy and she isn’t treating threats to his life like a joke. They are adorable and I kind of love them. A lot.

Also, the whole trope of “man in dangerous position pushes away woman for her own good” may have been done to death on this show, but isn’t it refreshing to have the man in question be a cop instead of a criminal for once? I actually cheered instead of gagged when Lulu gave the standard Good Woman answer that it was her choice to make.

Lulu’s hair, by the way? ALSO ADORABLE.

I really do think that someone in the wardrobe department uses their meager power to make meta statements about the scripts. Which is why Lulu has so often looked like she was dressed by a blind circus clown. Because she has so often sucked, so very, very much.

But now, just look at her! All mature and non-hateful with her pretty scarf and sleek hair!

I never thought I’d say this, but Lulu has become one of the least annoying characters on the show. (Also, Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, the Cubs have won the World Series, and Bob Guza’s been fired.)

(Sorry, those last two were just… mean.)

Do you ever get the feeling that this show is written by someone marooned on a desert island who’s never actually met any other people before? Specifically, that they’ve never met anybody who went to college before? Ever?

LISA: I guess I can’t quite reconcile the new, improved, domesticated Patrick with the old guy I knew.
PATRICK: Yeah, sitting on the couch, watching NASCAR on tv, drinking beer, yelling at the screen…

While I’m sure that there are college students who are big fans of NASCAR, I can honestly say that I never met one while I was in school. You know who does love NASCAR?

My father.

He has also been known to drink beer while he watches. Occasionally, he even yells at the television! So I guess according to Lisa and Patrick’s Guide to Being Wild, that makes my retirement age, thirty-years-married father an anti-domestic party animal. Go figure.

But marriage is a trap, you see. Women capture men in it, and then they can never drink or enjoy sports or have any sort of fun ever again. (Trufax!)

I’m torn about Lucky’s reaction to finally (FINALLY!) discovering the truth about Elizabeth and Nikolas’ affair. On the one hand, the thought of this mess being dragged out for days, weeks, or months longer than it already has been kind of makes me want to shoot myself.

On the other hand, Dark!Lucky — whose interests include bitterness, baseball bats, falling off the wagon, and torturing the love of his life and his brother — has the potential to be both fun and soapily delicious:

He destroyed Laura’s house! (Which was not only awesomely over the top, but will maybe rid us of all that tacky beige and white furniture. I’m sorry, Laura: I love you, but your taste is terrible, and I have hated that house’s decor since the mid-90s.) And the look on his face when he was telling Nikolas to stay was entertainingly insane.

On the other, other hand, these are the same writers who recently gave us Nikolas’ revenge on Rebecca, a clever plan which consisted of him getting back at her for trying to con him out of his fortune by… giving her a million dollars. So–yeah. Don’t get your hopes up.