Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day Three

Oof. They can never quite manage to stick the landing, can they? I mean, that was still more enjoyable than the show’s been lately, but that is a really low bar. And the last day of the ball was once again the worst by far.

At least Robin got to make a speech that managed to be both meaningful and informative, and also break my brain a little by pointing out it’s been 21 years since Stone died. Good lord, I’m old.

Robin's speech

Performance-wise, I don’t care how over it Lulu and Valerie both are now — you can’t tell me it’s not super awkward to have Val doing backup while Lulu sings to Dante about wanting him back. But hey, those rehearsals must have been fun! Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day Two

It’s the second day of the Nurses’ Ball, y’all. But first things first: IT REALLY WAS A SEX TAPE! I totally called it! Sadly, a sex tape full of gross bondage games with Paul instead of the Morgan one I was hoping would burn Carly’s eyes out. But still. SEX TAPE!

Anyway, let’s see what other gifts Aveeno has brought us today…

Magic Milo 2016

Sounds about right.

So, let’s talk about the Notably Missing from this year’s festivities, starting with: the actual Chief of Staff. Like, seriously, show? You just went through all the trouble of making Monica somewhat relevant again for the first time in years, and you can’t even spring to have her show up in a cameo at her own hospital’s premiere event? Ditto for Tracy, although at least she has the excuse of recovering from brain worms and getting overly emotionally invested in Sabrina’s baby.

(On a related note, can I just say how #blessed I feel that the ball has been thus far 100% Sabrina free?) (And yes, I realize I just jinxed it. Damn it.) Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2016: Day One

It’s Nurses’ Ball time! We open on Robin — real Robin, not a dumb hallucination this time. She’s on the phone with Patrick, who is away at a conference and therefore missing the Nurses’ Ball… which is apparently being broadcast not just on Port Charles local access this year, but NATIONWIDE on a major network? Hey, that’s more than you can say for the Daytime Emmys!

Bobbie on the red carpet

They tune into the red carpet where our regular host, Donnie Sheldon, has been joined by Nina and real life news personality, Abbie Boudreau. Donnie is excited to see “luminaries” like Bobbie and Lucas arrive. Does this mean that the national audience is supposed to know who Bobbie Spencer is? Amazing.

Bobbie tells the camera that this Nurses’ Ball has an extra special meaning for her, and Jackie Zeman gives the creepiest, way too sexual line reading for a woman currently arm in arm with her own son. But I do like her blue dress. Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2015: Day Three

Oh, boy. Guys, I think I went through the five stage of grief all while watching this episode. Admittedly, watching it took a while, because I kept having to pause when I got too angry. But now, having drank a bit and also watched a documentary on the Ebola outbreak for some perspective, I’m finally verging on acceptance.

Evil!Liz

So, fine. Elizabeth is kind of a supervillain now. You know what? It happens. Ask Tony Stark. And after moving through the denial and anger and the crushing disappointment that the couple I’ve loved for over 15 years just got tanked once again, I’ve decided I’m just going to be supportive.

If Liz wants to be a supervillain? Then by God, I want her to be the best supervillain she can be. Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2015: Day Two

On the second day of the Nurses’ Ball: Brad and Lucas got engaged and smiled at each other with such happiness on their adorable faces and it was actually quite moving? I legit teared up for a moment. I CAN ADMIT IT.

Brad proposal1

Brad proposal2

(Seriously, though: WHERE THE HELL IS BOBBIE? They couldn’t spring for one reaction shot while her son was getting engaged?)

Anyway, then Magic Milo happened, and Michael awkward tossed a briefcase filled with money on the stage and TJ made me uncomfortable with pelvic thrusting and also, there were butts. So many butts: Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2015: Day One

Rounding out a stunning streak of two entertaining episodes in a row, the Nurses’ Ball is here! Which means drama and dresses and Mutti singing her fabulous little heart out, even if the only one who truly appreciates her is fellow drama queen, Spencer.

Lucy Nurses Ball 2015

Mutti's luftballoons

The fashion portion of the evening was… a really mixed bag. Like, seldom have I seen so many attractive people dressed so universally not well? Especially when some of the actors looked so much better at the Emmys last week. Just let them wear their own dresses next time. Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2014: Wrap up

On the last few days of the Nurses’ Ball: Blackie Parrish was a total lie, Epiphany’s interest in Milo’s junk started to get creepy, I had a lot of feelings about the Westbourne siblings, and Doc broke all of our hearts.

Westbourne sibs1

ADORABLE GOOBERS AND I LOVE THEM

The two big themes of the end of the ball seemed to be: 1) pushy dudes, and 2) friendship. Which is kind of a weird combo, when you think about it, but okay. Seriously, though — between Ric, Scotty, Brad, FauxLuke and freaking Spencer, is there a single guy of any age on this show capable of taking no for an answer?

(I keep hoping Nikolas will explain to his son that Emma is not a prize and he’s not entitled to her forgiveness or love just because he wants it. But then I remember Nikolas himself would have to be aware of these concepts in the first place, so… basically this will never happen.) Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2014: Day Two

On the second day of the Nurses’ Ball, there were boys in their skivvies and Eddie Maine and Elizabeth Webber wearing sexy glasses. So basically, everything was wonderful.

Magic Milo and the magic wands

Not that there weren’t a few off notes. Like… what was up with that way too long intro to Ned’s number with the wolf and the spoken word and the MAKE IT STOP, SO EMBARRASSING? Or that weird as hell moment when we were treated to FauxLuke’s inner lust monologue about Alexis, Jordan, and Kiki during his wedding to Tracy? Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2014: Day One

Folks, it’s Nurses’ Ball time again. And you know what that means: I straight up love this stuff, so for three days, I’m going to resist the urge to roll my eyes at the kiddie love triangle, mutter under my breath about the waste that was AJ being killed off, or curse Franco’s name.

I refuse to let little details like my active lack of interest in the show lately stop me from enjoying all the ball gowns and contact embarrassment with every bone in my body, damn it.

Nurses Ball 2014

liesl nurses ball

First things first: LIESL OBRECHT IS THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING. Obviously. You know why? Because she is a woman who enjoys life. Sure, she may be a mad scientist, and the criminal mastermind she loves may probably be dead, and both of her children and all of her employees may want nothing to do with her. But she has fun, damn it. My darling Liesl doesn’t let pesky things like reality get in her way. And I appreciate that.

(I also appreciate the things that outfit was doing for Kathleen Gati’s…. everything. But that is another matter entirely.) Continue reading

Nurses’ Ball 2013: Day Three

On the final day of the Nurses’ Ball, I spent most of it curled up in a little ball of contact embarrassment, because I have a really low second-hand humiliation threshold.

But Liz’s hair was still pretty, Lucy wore my second favorite of all her dresses, and Epiphany and Doctor Obrecht — whose first name is Lisa, I just learned while Googling, and that seems too weirdly common (and American) name for her, so let’s never use it again — pretty much saved the day.

Lucy's white dress

But let’s start of with the CHEAT OF THE CENTURY that is not actually showing us Elizabeth and AJ’s big number. I mean, really, guys. We knew it was coming — it was one of the only numbers we knew about ahead of time! And this is how you’re gonna play it? Not cool, Carlivati.

(I am somewhat amused to imagine the reason might be that Sean Kanan and Rebecca Herbst are just both tone-deaf bad dancers… in which case: I would STILL have watched the hell out of them being awkward and terrible together, damn it!) (Especially if that meant there might have been less time for Molly’s musical stylings or Olivia’s unnecessary potshots at Frisco.) Continue reading