Your heart is true. You’re a pal and a confidant.

I’ve said it before, but one of the nicest things about Ron Carlivati’s tenure is the certainty that even if something really isn’t working for me, it’s only a matter of time before a better thing will appear. We may never know what the plan was before all the backstage drama with Prospect Park, but I think it’s safe to say the rushed rewrites has resulted in a mixed bag. At best. It’s just… it’s been a rough month or so.

But we may be seeing the start of a course correction? Vets are popping up all other the place again, there’s a couple mass umbrella stories a-brewin’, and SAM’S FREAKING DAD. Plus yesterday we got an episode showcasing one of my very favorite things in the soap world:

Scotty, Lucy and Tracy

LUCY: Okay, you wanna know a secret?
SCOTT: [suspicious] No.
LUCY: Well, I’m gonna tell you anyway! I wouldn’t mind if Kevin was sitting here, having a piece of pie with me. But the truth is, I would not change one single moment of this evening.
LUCY: No, because I loved the way you handled Tracy! Do you know you did more for me and for Deception than Kevin’s done yet at all.
SCOTT: Well, I’m glad I could be at your service.
LUCY: Thank you, Captain. Scott Baldwin, you are a very, very good friend. And! A negotiator extraordinaire.

FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, GUYS. Like, seriously. It must be literal magic. Because the amount of annoyance I feel for Scotty when he’s involved in pretty much any other story than being Lucy’s BFF is astronomical. But two seconds of he and Lucy working together to fleece Tracy? I’m all aboard the Scott Baldwin love train. (Also, please let that reference to their children mean we’re actually going to see Serena and/or Christina soon? PLEASE?) Continue reading

I feel so conflicted right now.

This show is giving me whiplash lately. The stuff that’s bad?  So, so very bad. Wretched. Awful. Nigh unwatchable. I mean, Monica letting Franco stay in the Quartermaine mansion out of “respect” for Alan? Every single second Sonny and Shawn are on screen together? Morgan? Just terrible.

But the stuff that’s good? The question of Sam’s dad finally about to be answered? Laura and Lucy in business together? Liz and AJ? Really quite entertaining. And then, of course, there was this:

Georgie returns

GEORGIE: Oh, Maxie I’m not telling you what to do. Only you can figure that out.
MAXIE: No! You’re so much better at figuring things out than I am!
GEORGIE: I’m sorry that I can’t be there to hold you when you do decide.
MAXIE: I miss you, Georgie.
GEORGIE: I know. I miss you too.
MAXIE: It’s not fair. Why can’t you be here? I need you.
GEORGIE: You have me, Maxie. I’m always with you — maybe not right next to you, but… I’m always in your heart.

In the show in my head, Frisco is still off secretly following leads that will prove Georgie’s death was faked. You know, for reasons. (Hell, maybe Jerry Jacks has her! That’s kind of his thing these days, anyway.) Continue reading

This just in: Morgan may be PC’s dumbest human.

I realize there’s been some pretty stiff competition in that category this week. I mean, he didn’t fall for the world’s most transparent lie and then shoot the wrong person in the chest, a la Shawn “Why is my boss standing in front of the target if he ordered this hit? Oh well, better shoot anyway” Butler.

But in the space of one episode, Morgan took part in the following conversations:

Morgan is stupid

KIKI: Guess what? Last night, I met my super rich relatives. They’re fighting each other for control of the family company, and my shares could be the deciding vote!
MICHEAL: Guess what? The cousin I just found out about showed up on the Quartermaine doorstep last night. Which is lucky, because her shares could by the deciding vote for control of the family company.
MORGAN: I in no way see a connection between these two events.

And then Alice came bring him to the Qs and he not only went with her without once bothering to even ask for the name of this mysterious rich and powerful family in his hometown, but also somehow didn’t even notice where they were going until he was literally inside the mansion. Continue reading

Where’s Felix when you need him?

Oh, Liz. Oh, girl. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE. LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES. (Except for maybe your choice to wear that sweater, because damn, it looked good.)

Seriously, though, that was a short lived period of me not hating Nik’s guts and enjoying the Liz/Nik revisit, huh? This Nik — the entitled, condescending, pushy Nik? — is pretty much my least favorite parts of the character condensed into one super potent package of assiness.

Nik and Liz redux

ELIZABETH: My reaction had more to do with me than AJ. I feel bad about our affair. Nikolas, I still feel incredibly guilty.
NIKOLAS: Whatever feelings you have about our past, it doesn’t excuse AJ. He’s acting like a jealous idiot who’s trying to claim you like you’re his property!

Um, Nikolas? I’ve got this pot on the phone? He says he’d like to call your kettle black. Continue reading

Welcome home, friends.

Y’all, it is a good week to be a soap fan. After almost a decade of dire predictions of the death of our entire genre — helped along by a rapid decline in writing and the disappearance of six (six!) shows since 2003 — being a Daytime fan felt a bit like going to a wake every day. And not the fun kind with good music and lots of alcohol.

As primarily ABCD viewers, the two of us mourned the cancellations of Guiding Light and As the World Turns (the distant cousins you see once a year at family reunions) and Passions (everyone’s favorite crazy druncle) at a bit of a remove. And though we lost Port Charles, we still had, you know… actual Port Charles.

Losing All My Children and One Life to Live was different. They were our sisters, you know? Maybe we didn’t see either of them regularly or have a lot in common, but we found comfort in knowing they were always there, just a phone call (or a stop in line at the grocery store) away. And losing them hurt. A lot.

Vicki and Clint

Brooke and Adam


It’s a brave new world, people! Not only is our show good again, but the rest of band’s getting back together! And sure, format’s changed a little, but if that’s the price we have to pay for the dead to rise and live again? I’ll take it. Continue reading

Just somebody that I used to know…

Of all the many returns we’re getting for the 50th, I’m surprised to see no publicity for perhaps the most surprising of all: Sonny Corinthos!

I know! I never thought we’d see him again either. But this week, the real Sonny Corinthos — compassionate, perceptive, mature — finally came back from wherever he’s been hiding for the last decade:

Sonny and Connie

CONNIE: What if I just disappear?
SONNY: No. You will be a whole person.
CONNIE: Oh, Sonny. I’m scared! I can’t–I can’t. I can’t do it.
SONNY: Listen to me–hold my hand, hold my hand. I told Kate that I would never abandon her. Okay? And I would never abandon you too. I’m right here with you. No matter what.

Weird, right? Look, I don’t know who that childish, self-absorbed, belligerent bully that we’ve been watching up until now actually was. But he clearly wasn’t Sonny Corinthos.

Remember this Sonny? Who was smart and cared about other people and actually seemed to like the woman he claimed to love? Continue reading

This is the song that never ends…

Guys, I think it’s time to face a painful reality. We’re just… we’re never getting rid of this D.I.D story, are we?

It’s been over a year now, and I think I’m finally starting to come to terms. I was in some strong denial there for a while, but hearing Kate realize she’d been gone for five months kind of kicked my denial in the face. (Five months! That’s how long this stage of the story has been going on! And that wasn’t even the beginning! Not by a long shot!)

Now I’m stuck on bargaining. Because I thought the writers and I at least had an agreement wherein I would ignore all the plots that drive me to drink and they wouldn’t force me to sit through episodes that contained all three at once. Judging by this week thus far, though? Not so much.

Connie's back


On any given day, I can roll my eyes through Todd and Carly gassing on about how neither of them has ever loved before, even though both of them spent the better part of the last year obsessed with completely different people. I can sit through Sabrina’s juvenile antics, because hey, at least it gets Jason Thompson’s pretty face on my tv screen. I can even grit my teeth through Konnie and Kate fighting over how Sonny cheated on both of them by sleeping with THE SAME DAMN WOMAN, even though the logical inconsistencies in this story are now large enough to be seen from space.

But I can’t deal with all three at once. JE REFUSE, MONSIEUR CARLIVATI!  Continue reading

1994 called. It wants its cast line up back.

Oh, my goodness gracious, that was a nostalgia-packed episode! Anna and Duke! Anna and Frisco! Frisco and Felicia! Kevin and Mac! Kevin and Lucy! NORMA AND EVE! Plus, Spencers and Baldwins and ELQ intrigue and flashbacks all over the place. I’m just… I’m in a happy place right now, guys.

By the way, this is how you can tell Ron Carlivati is as big a GH nerd as the rest of us:

RC tweetI KNOW, RON. HIGH FIVE, BOYFRIEND. But it is real and we did get all that goodness, including the conversation I think most of us have really been waiting for since Frisco first appeared:

Frisco and Felicia talk

FELICIA: I didn’t think you’d remember Georgie’s birthday.
FRISCO: Well, I guess I deserved that. I certainly wasn’t a great father. In fact, I wasn’t much of a father at all. But I do remember my daughters’ birthdays. I love my girls.
FELICIA: I know you do.
FRISCO: I never should have left.
FELICIA: Port Charles couldn’t hold you. You were meant to be out in the world taking risks and saving lives.
FRISCO: Felicia, I should have been here with my family. I’d have come back sooner but I was just afraid to face you and Maxie. And I was afraid to face the truth.
FELICIA: What truth?
FRISCO: [voice cracking] That if I’d have been here, like a good father, Georgie would still be alive.
FELICIA: [in tears] You can’t know that.
FRISCO: No, and I can’t make the time up I missed with her.

::slow clap:: Well, that was all pretty gutting! But in a good way. Catharsis! I think Kristina Wagner pretty accurately captured the nature of my feels in her facial expression there. And when she broke down at the end over the necklace? OH MY HEART. Continue reading

Reunited, and it feels so–wait WHAT?


Actually, I have a confession to make: beloved as I know he is, the truth is, I’ve never really had much use for Frisco. Not his fault. I just missed his heyday, so other than YouTube clips, I know him mostly as a deadbeat who only occasionally shows up to (hotly) father more children to abandon.

Frisco returns

Which isn’t to say I’m not THRILLED to see Jack Wagner’s face on my screen, because hello, drama bomb! And also, it’s just fun seeing the parade of vets continue. (Speaking of which… HOLY CRAP, I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.) (Just visiting a friend, my ass.)

But it does mean that I spent a lot of time giving Frisco the finger and Mac imaginary fist bumps during exchanges like this: Continue reading

In which Doc explains it all.

Guys, I know I say this a lot, but the noises that came out of my mouth when Kevin appeared on screen yesterday were not only supersonic, but so annoying that even I had to pause the DVR with an expression of disgust, like who is that asshole making those wretched sounds while I’m trying to watch my stories? And then I realized it was me. I was the asshole. THE HAPPIEST ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD.

Kevin Collins returns

KEVIN! All dignity and wry humor and salt and pepper hair! OMG, I love him. I also love him explaining, that no, there are no vampires (or angels or demons or magic). And no, he doesn’t have a daughter named Livvie, and basically no, I don’t have to acknowledge any of the PC canon I never liked anyway.

And obviously there’s more to it than that, because Alison is wandering around flipping her gourd at the sight of John. Continue reading