So apparently Rebecca Herbst has been let go? This distresses me, kittens.
Elizabeth and I have had our differences lately. Agreeing to marry one man (twice!) while in love with/having grody sex with another man. Pointlessly lying about paternity. That whole ‘literally crazy for Nikolas’ boner’ thing. Forcing me to put up with the existence of Shirley. Forcing me to see Nikolas shirtless.
She’s had a bad couple of years, is what I’m saying.
But she’s still my girl, you know? I’ve loved her since we were both in high school. She and Jason helped keep me sane through my senior thesis in college. And lately, the sight of her magic hair and big, Disney princess eyes has been one of my only happy places on this show:
(True story: sometimes when the show’s really pissing me off, I just put the mute on and let Becky Herbst’s prettiness soothe all the irritation away.)
Word is, Elizabeth’s exit will be “storyline dictated” — which means, of course, that it will be dictated straight out of Guza’s ass, and we can no doubt expect it to be as gratuitous, nonsensical, and wasteful as possible. Frankly, if she escapes without being brutally ‘fridged to provide either Steve Burton or Jonathan Jackson with an Emmy reel, I will be absolutely shocked.
But rather than speculate on all the horrible ways they could get rid of one of the show’s last remaining young, female legacy characters, let’s take a look at the most pressing questions of the hour. Namely, without Liz, who will…
… be the new impossibly pretty crier?
… make the best bitchfaces?
… have the craziest crazy eyes?
… be the most adorable drunk?
… mesmerize all the town babies?
… have the most perfectly shiny hair?
I feel so bereft already. Hold me!
(All kidding aside, I’m actually pretty upset by this news. I really hope they let her leave with some more dignity than the character’s gotten from these hacks in the last few years. And obviously, the very fact that I can still type the word ‘dignity’ in a sentence about General Hospital shows that I’m possibly sleep deprived and/or losing my mind. It’s a sad day, y’all.)