About a boy…who is in need of a punch.

Once up a time, there was a character named Spinelli. Or the Jackal. Or Assassin of the Internet. Or Doucheface, if you’re listening to the side commentary from my living room.

For yes, brave Spinelli was a bit of a doucheface. It wasn’t his fault exactly. The writers just delighted in keeping him an entitled, incomprehensible, nick-name giving, mob-worshiping, out of touch with reality ass-toad.

But little by little, he started to become a real boy. The nicknames became manageable, the entitlement dropped, the smug lectures about morality while working for the mafia disappeared. By the time he left, the narrator didn’t actually hate his guts anymore. It was a General Hospital miracle! And then he came back.

I try to give the writing team the benefit of the doubt, you guys. I really do. But among the many, many things I don’t understand about their choices lately, the decision to reintroduce Spinelli to the canvas in his most obnoxious form ranks really high.

Mostly because there is no reason it should have been necessary? Maxie and Spinelli have never been my favorite couple (UNDERSTATEMENT) but there was a perfectly fine, soapy story to be had from his reemergence in her life, bonding over their daughter’s illness and their shared history.

Instead, they decided to skip over any sort of build up or motivation and just present him as obsessed with Maxie out of the blue after over a year apart and in love with another woman. And then demonstrate his feelings in the most disrespectful, manipulative, and entitled way possible.

If this is just meant to be another bump in the road for Nathan and Maxie, then I’m sorry, but it’s a really crap reason to destroy all the character development that went into maturing Spinelli from a one-note cliche into an actual, three-dimensional human being before he left.

I resent it, and frankly I resent having to dig through the archives to find this post again. Because seriously: Backpfeifengesicht!