Dear James Franco,
Kindly get over yourself. You’re pretty cute, but you’re not actually all that and a bag of chips.
Love,
The Soap-Viewing Public (who did actually possess the ability to distinguish reality from fiction long before you showed up)
p.s. What she said.
I’m going to file this one under “Be Careful What You Wish For.”
Hey, remember when I was bemoaning the lack of a point of view for Elizabeth in this whole Nikolas mess? Well, we got an earful of her perspective yesterday, and guess what?
ELIZABETH: Sex is a really weird thing for me. My first experience was so brutal that it shut something down inside of me. And obviously I’ve been with other guys, and it’s been fine and I’ve enjoyed it, but there’s a part of me that’s always been unavailable. And I rarely initiate sex, and honestly, I would be more than happy to never have it again. Until now. Nikolas awakened that part of me and he brought it to life.
I see! So, all those times when she appeared to be nauseated by Nikolas’ touch, that was really an expression of joy at her libido finally breaking free of the icy prison in which it had been languishing while she was having all that boring, gross sex with dudes who did not make her look repulsed: read more…
I didn’t expect any moments of enjoyment from today’s GH, since watching each episode has been like living in my own personal hell for the last few weeks.
I know I shouldn’t let myself feel excitement or joy over any of this, but I just can’t stop.
First of all, when they brought out the ‘K’ word, I immediately rolled my eyes. This seems a lot like in the 90s when someone discovered that mob = good. The show then immediately saturated the viewers with mafia-centered story lines to the point that most of us hate the mention of the word. They seem well on their way to doing the same with this shiny, new toy.
The only thing that stays my groans is the fact that karaoke night seems to be one of the only times they allow the cast to integrate and have fun. So despite being karaoked out, I couldn’t help enjoy myself, especially during the montage at the end. God, wasn’t the cast so sweet, smiling and dancing together? Wasn’t it great to see Robin and Patrick so happy? What show am I watching?
But Johnny and Olivia were what really made the episode for me. Learning a lesson from their previous conflict, Olivia actually told Johnny that she kissed Sonny. She (rightly) assumed Sonny might be a tool and put Johnny in danger because she gave him mixed signals. Johnny didn’t act enraged, didn’t emotionally or physically threaten her, didn’t even try to guilt her.
They have tension. There’s no question there is conflict. But there is also always an undercurrent of mutual admiration and respect through the hurt, confusion, and anger.
And then this happened:
I was going to make a screencap, but this is better. You don’t understand how happy these scenes made me. I couldn’t bring myself to delete this episode off my DVR! An episode of GH!
I really expected the writers to write Johnny as the exact opposite during all of this. I’ve never been so happy to be wrong. I still predict it will crash and burn as quickly as it turned around. But at this point, I’ll take what I can get.
… and the writers seem to be waging it against the viewers.
First, there’s this ridiculous, supposed Scrubs love triangle. I actually like Lisa, but I can’t enjoy her because they have Robin getting insecure about her and that makes me insecure about where they’re going with this. I’m no idiot, so I’m pretty certain this will end in lame-ass disaster.
If only they would develop her relationship with Matt! That would be entertaining, there could be a bit of comedy with the awkwardness of Matt dating an ex of Patrick’s, and it would give Jason Cook something else to do other than hold up the scenery.
*sigh* If only…
This plot with Nik and Liz is going to give me my own case of “psycho-motor dissociative disorder.” My thumb is always ready on the fast forward button, but I keep catching glimpses of them making out. And now the writers are forcing me hear Liz describe sex with Nik as the most intense sexual experience she has ever had? I call shenanigans! I’m not even a huge Liason fan, but I still can’t deny this. Shut up, writers. At this point, I trust nothing that comes out of Liz’s mouth.
Finally, I have tried to be in denial about certain plot lines. But instead of rewarding me for my tolerance and ability to ignore it and go to my happy place, they replay the scene just to make sure that every last bit of my soul dies. Jack offs.
Then they throw that Johnny and Olivia scene at us today, making me think that maybe — just maybe! — the writers might actually be setting them up as the couple to root for. They can’t think it’s more romantic to throw a fifty dollar bill at a woman than it is to have a man say that he just can’t stay away from a woman, no matter how much she’s hurt him (with smoldering eyes, no less!) — can they? CAN THEY?
Even with the text absolutely clear as to who is the more desirable man, I have no question where this is going. And that makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a blunt instrument.
If the writers are going to shove Sonny and Olivia down our throats, the least they can do is get it over with instead of stringing me along with false hope. Bastards.
POP QUIZ!
Sam’s expression in this picture indicates:
A. She’s just realized she’s wearing another shirt rejected from the set of Flashdance.
B. She’s just realized that the reason she’s wearing another shirt rejected from the set of Flashdance is that her boyfriend has been secretly wearing and stretching out all of her tops.
C. She’s just realized her boyfriend not only wears her shirts when she’s not looking, but cannot even be bothered to pretend to be interested in anything she says that isn’t related to his problems.
D. All of the above.
I’d feel bad for her, but well… she kind of brought this on herself. Still, Sam: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN! It’s not too late!
Also, HAHAHAHA — isn’t it hilarious that the characters can joke about how ridiculous it is that Alexis and Sam have never had a single conversation about the identity of her father? Doesn’t that make you just forget that the writers have been either too lazy or too incompetent to come up with an answer in the three years since the discovered they were related? Oh, shenanigans! read more…
I cannot express how weird it is to see General Hospital popping up in my RSS feed from non-soapy sources. NPR is covering this. NPR!
THE UNIVERSE HAS INVERTED ITSELF.
Tenillypo: It kind of feels like people rooting around in my underwear drawer, you know? It is strangely intrusive. This show is my dirty little secret, people! Stop looking at it!
Incandescentflower: That is funny. I really couldn’t care less. Except that I find the reactions amusing.
Tenillypo: I don’t know how I feel. You know how your instinct is to be defensive of the things that are yours, even when you slag on them yourself? But in this case, there really is no defense. So I’m all torn.
Incandescentflower: Yeah, I really don’t feel possessive of GH one bit. Feel free to rag away, general public! read more…
Did I seriously just sit through a lecture on the warning signs of abuse from Sonny fucking Corinthos? That really happened, right? I didn’t accidentally overdose on acid and start having nightmarish hallucinations?
You know, I have never had any illusions that Johnny and Olivia would actually be endgame in this story. But it’s been so long since I felt tingly butterflies about any of the couples on this show, I went against all my better instincts and let myself get invested. Sure, she’ll end up with Sonny eventually, I thought. But there’s no harm in enjoying it while I can.
Well, you got me, show! You got me good!
What I didn’t suspect was that — not content to merely ruin Olivia forever — the writers would also go out of their way to wreck Johnny in the process:
DANTE: He’s Anthony Zacchara’s son, I mean, we know he used to be crazy. He had a whole team of lawyers following him around and cleaning up after him.
SONNY: True.
DANTE: He’s unstable. Insanity runs in that family!
I could write a post about how uncreative the Patrick and Robin plot is (yawn). I could say something about how uncomfortable it was to hear Patrick reminisce about his past sexual encounters with Lisa (ewwww!). I could say how awesome I think Jonathan Jackson is (because he so is).
I could even delve into how mind-numbingly stupid this “mystery” photographer story has been thus far. (Really show? You expect anyone to even remotely suspect Johnny after seeing a million promos for James Franco as an “artist”? Really?)
Instead, I’ll simply leave you with a quote from my husband in response to that Nikolas/Elizabeth dream sequence:
“I think he is the grossest person I have ever seen.”
Enough said.
Of all the many scenes that made me want to pull my hair out in yesterday’s episode (et tu, Lulu?), this was the one that made me sit up and march over to the computer in a fit of indignant fury:
REBECCA: Well, you never make me feel like I have to apologize for being the twin that lived.
EDWARD: There’s no reason for you to apologize about anything, [ Ed. note: ???] and if that scoundrel, Nikolas–
REBECCA: No, Nikolas is wonderful. It’s Elizabeth Webber. She hates me. And I know I shouldn’t care, but Nikolas is so close to her.
EDWARD: Well, they were all really inseparable when they were teenagers.
REBECCA: Oh yeah, so I’ve heard. About a million times. The Four Musketeers. And now Emily’s gone and somehow in Elizabeth’s mind, it’s my fault.
Um… no. Let’s back this train up for a minute: read more…
So, apparently, Chad Brannon’s back for one day only in December:
Incandescentflower: I swear, they now have a person in the casting department with the title “Stunt Casting Director.”
Tenillypo: Well, they had some extra money for it after they fired everyone in charge of continuity…
My hope? Is that somehow ZombieZander can team up with ZombieDiego and wreak havoc all over town. It’ll take the combined power of TWO zombies to get rid of Natalia Livingston this time, y’all!
(Otherwise, she’ll just be back again in a month as the previously unknown triplet sister of Emily and Rebecca, who was sold by Paige Bowen to a traveling circus as a baby and has now come to exact her terrible, acrobatic revenge on all who deprived her of her birthright!)
incandescentflower
tenillypo